Why Does The DHS Need to Advise Me About Frying Turkeys?

I was intrigued by the Department of Homeland Security’s issuance on warnings regarding the deep frying of turkeys.
I’m sure we are all cognizant of the dangers of heating up oil…but exactly why is the DHS involved?
Actually, I think this important message should have been delivered by Joe Biden (his articulate expositions are widely admired).
Just what does terrorism (and efforts to protect against it) have to do with frying turkeys?:smiley:

Hey, your boy created the DHS in that giant, expensive bureaucratic reshuffling after 9/11 slipped by him. Obama hasn’t had the time or money to change everything back–he’s been pretty busy.

In commemoration of Bush Jr, perhaps FEMA is now in charge of flaming turkeys…

Turkey is a Moslem country. Duh. And I have seen enough deep-fried turkeys turn into improvised incendiary devices to envision someone actually weaponizing the technique.

With bin Laden dead, they’re looking for a new mission.

I’m sure someone is working on it, which means our scientists are hard at work in it as well. We can’t have a turkey gap!

Less turkeys = less votes for increased funding/existence of Homeland Security?

Given the GOP Debates, I’m surprized this hasn’t been shuffled onto the Secret Service…

Yeah, you laugh. But who’s going to be laughing when terrorists fly deep-fried turkeys into skyscrapers, huh?

Why do you hate Thanksgiving?

You never hear about all the deep-fried turkey incidents that are PREVENTED by Homeland Security. And you just know the press will have a field day if there is a sweet potato related tragedy, but all our resources were being applied towards interdicting deep-fried turkeys.

If we were given adequate funding, all traditional holiday dinners could be kept safe, but now we must concentrate on the most visible, viable and credible threats.

Well, look, they wouldn’t have to give this advice if there were a small enough turkey that could be fried in less than 3 ounces of oil and fit into a one-quart Baggie. You can’t burn down a house with one of those… we think.

But seriously, Bridget Burke was not far from the truth:

The Federal office/program that deals with giving federal support to local firefighting departments, the U.S. Fire Administration, created in 1974, is attached to FEMA, and thus wound up in this Department.

Remember, FEMA is suposed to help mitigate disasters of various types from nasty weather all the way up to nuclear war (not sure about zombies, though), and setting yourself alight can result in a wildfire that burns down the town, so that counts. A LOT of the agencies in DHS do deal with safety as well as “security” (e.g. FEMA, Coast Guard), it’s not just the Department of Counterterrorism.

Well, we wouldn’t want this to happen.

:smack:Oh, you said fRying, not fLying. Nevermind.

Anyone else thinking of “WKRP in Cincinnati”?

Who knew turkeys couldn’t fly?

As Allah is my witness…

Not Craw. Craw!

Brought to you by the Cranberry Coalition…

Did they produce a spiffy video or something to go along with this warning? I love the annual “dangers of frying a turkey” demonstrations the local fire departments perform for the news.

Don’t you know that turkeys are yet another tool to put America under the thumb of Sharia law?

I could not possibly make this shit up.

…Sharia don’t like it? Crockin’ to bird tar?

Because the federal government is out of control and 80% of what it does should be eliminated? What do I win?

The comments. The comments. :eek:

Y’all enjoyed one of them birds they done sacrificed to Allah, didn’t ya?