Why does this guy NOT wear a belt, sheesh!

This guy, well call him Frank, works where I work. Frank is about 6 feet tall and probably 320 pounds. Most of his weight is strategically located around his waist area. I would say around the belt line but this guy will not wear a belt. Frank is a construction worker and during the course of the day spends a lot of his time on his hands and knees.......you know where Im going with this.
Frank, with amazing consistency, will have a good 3.5 inches of the famous "plumbers butt" exposed throughout the day. He has good days and bad days depending on his choice of cover but theyre usually bad days ( for the rest of us anyway). Mind you, he works in high traffic areas and there happen to be some women ( some good looking) that end up walking past him throughtout the day.
Why does Frank allow this to happen? ( Not the part about the good looking women walking past him, the part about his crack showing all the time.) Does he not care? Not know? What does his wife think? Can such a person be approached?

I was thinking of going to the store, getting a cheap belt (or a can of spackle) and then placing it in his lunch box. He would probably get the message. Maybe put a note in with it so it would look like his wife left it there for him. If not from his wife, then from an anynomous co-worker.
What should the note say and how should this sticky situation (sorry) be handled?
I would like info regarding your experiences with this problem.

You displayers o` crack out there, shame on you! What are you thinking?

Better yet, buy him some coveralls for his birthday.

Wouldn’t braces be more comfortable? I’d have thought that belts weren’t very practical for people without waistlines.

Better yet, why don’t you just continue to shame and mock him, but this time to his face? He might kill himself, and you’d be spared the trouble of seeing his loathsome form day after day.

You must be from the UK, or a UK-related area. In the U.S. braces are metal bands orthodontists put on your teeth to straighten them and to trap peanut butter. Suspenders are used to hold up pants around here.

It confused the hell out of me when I first read The Hobbit as a kid and it talked about Bilbo leaning back, putting his thumb behind his braces, and blowing a smoke ring. I couldn’t figure out how he managed that trick.

Nothing too drastic, The guy is actually a really nice guy (of course) and I wouldnt want to hurt his feelings. Hed give you the shirt off his back (if you needed to make a tent) maybe that`s what happened to all his belts.

I guess he doesn`t really have a waist line come to think of it. Today the crotch of his pants are actually down to his knees.
Suspenders or bibs would be the best solution for him.

The question remains, is he aware of his 3.5 inch problem or does he just not care. I hate to ask him, I wouldn`t be able to finish the question without cracking up (pun intended).

At least it`s not a hairy crack!!!

(What are some other crack jokes?)

Wow, what a jackass of a comment.

I’d guess that he’s aware of it - and I’d guess that he doesn’t care. Normally when skin is exposed that isn’t usually exposed, one feels a draft of cooler air on that skin. More power to him for not being worried about it.

Oh, and shaming him into killing himself is OK?

Like I said, Hes a great guy and I can talk about him because hes out there working right now and can`t hear me.

For the tall man, shirts with longer shirttails can be great.

Give him some as a gift, and he may convert fully.

Ok, this just in;

As I walked past Frank and his helper, his helper looked at Frank then looked at me and said (with no cue from me), "I see more of his ass then my wifes lately". Frank hearing this, laughed and then pulled his pants up a little. Seems he is light-hearted about the issue and probably doesnt care. I suspect this sort of exchange happens often as they were both laughing after it was said.

well, if he’s a good sport about it, a (semi-)lighthearted approach might be to get a copy of the More Twisted Christmas CD.

hubby and i were listening to it during trip to family for holidays. it’s parody versions of either Christmas songs or regular songs done with a Christmas theme. anyway, they have a group on it called “Buttcracker Suite” (Nutcracker Suite revisited). listening to these songs might help get the message across. share the insanity here


Obviously none of you people have beer guts.

Belts don’t work if your waist is the biggest part of your torso (Think about it.

Suspenders are an option, but they have to be work suspenders with the heavy-duty claw grips. Otherwise the grip will let go when that side is being stretched and likely snap him in the head.

…you know the kids these days like to wear thier pants below thier waist. It must be a fashion statement of some kind. I think the only statement it makes is, “look, I`m wearing boxers.”

I think the true answer can be found here:


Just tell him…
“Don’t do crack!”


Maybe he’s using it as a pencil holder.

I can’t agree enough. At 6 ft., I never thought of myself as “tall,” but since I started wearing tall-tailored shirts, I’ve discovered the joy that is going a whole day without tucking my shirttails in. I’ll never go back.

According to my last tailor, six foot is right on the border of regular and tall. So if you have broad shoulders and are six feet tall, he suggests going with “tall” stuff.

I guess the same would work with any broad upper torso area.

Whenever my wife sees the crack of my ass when I bend over, she’ll say something like “crackwheat”! Its good for a laugh. Maybe you could say something like that to remind him when it happens.

You do know what the word suspenders means in the UK, don’t you? :wink: