In positive psychology they talk about how the stuff you think will make you happy doesn’t. Wealth, being attractive, health, having high quality sex partners, kids, fame, etc. Not only that but things like advanced medical care and high quantities of food doesn’t seem to make people happy.
So why? Why aren’t we designed to feel a deep sense of happiness and fulfillment from those things? Wouldn’t that make us pursue them? All the stuff that encourages our survival (medicine/health, food, social status, sexual options, resources, procreation) doesn’t seem to actually make us happy in a meaningful way.
Or would that be counterproductive? If survival/fitness is a ladder if you ever reach a point of fulfillment, you stop climbing. So we are designed to be deluded into thinking climbing the ladder makes us happy (being wealthier, more famous, more attractive, better/more sexual partners, kids, better health) but when we get there we realize it doesn’t, then we believe the next rung makes us happy? Isn’t there a risk people become disillusioned under that reward system? Like ‘why bother’?
I believe one of the most important non-genetic determinants of happiness is the quality of relationships with people and the world at large (does your life have meaning, etc). That and gratitude, optimism, altruism, etc. It seems the pro-social stuff makes us happy, not the genetic fitness stuff.
I guess my question is why. Why would pro-social behavior lead to happiness but not behavior that increases genetic and reproductive fitness? Why does having high quality friendships, or being grateful seem to factor into happiness but having enough wealth, good looks and fame to have 1000 high quality sex partners does not?
If it is the hedonistic treadmill, why does pro-social behavior seem to result in lasting happiness but behaviors that affect (for better or worse) genetic fitness we get used to in a few months?