Why don't businesses treat us as adults any more?

In My Humble Opinion
1

It’s difficult to sum up my point in the title, but hopefully you’ll know what I mean.

Over the past couple of years, it seems like more and more businesses want to be jokey and childish when a serious, businesslike message would be more appropriate. I think Google might be at the root of this.

For example, in Gmail, if you’ve no unread messages in your inbox, it doesn’t say “No unread messages”, it says “Woohoo! You’ve read all the messages in your inbox!” as though you’re a slightly slow child who has managed to get through a whole Spot the Dog book without chewing any of the pages.

If Google Chrome crashes, it doesn’t give you a sensible message, it says something like “Aw Snap! Something done went wrong :-(”

When I order a crate of wine from the mail-order firm I use, it now comes in a cardboard box emblazoned with “Woohoo! Your wine has arrived!” (I swear I’m not making this up).

And if they’re not being jokey, they’re being patronising. Time was, you’d get leaflets from the bank or the water company telling you they were cutting your interest rate or putting their prices up, and they were written in proper, businesslike English. Nowadays, they all seem to be glossy brochures covered in stock photography, with the text in bitesize preschool “Q&A” format:

*Q: Why are we writing to you?

A: Here at BigElectricCo, we supply the power that makes your lights come on and your television make pretty pictures! But now the price we have to pay to make the power has gone up, so we have to put our prices up too. We’re really sorry about this but we have no choice.

Q: What do I have to do?

A: You don’t have to do anything. We’ll take the money from your bank automatically. Or, if you prefer, you can drop your pants and bend over in front of the letter box when the postman brings your next bill, so you can get a feel for how BigElectricCo likes to make its customers feel.*

Does this sort of thing rub other people up the wrong way or am I just getting old and grouchy?

2

I don’t like it. I’d rather have brisk efficiency than the overly-familiar, fake friendliness I seem to get everywhere.

3

So that settles it. I’m getting old and grouchy. :wink:

4

Woo-hoo! I’ve posted in your thread and agree with your point!

5

The SDMB should have a script that replaces “this.” or “QFT” with the above message.

6

Is this tactic something that’s going around in middle-management circles, like those stupid fish videos they made us watch ten years ago? They’re just trying to be accessible and user-friendly or somesuch.

7

Nice rant but anytime you use the phrase “Time was,” you know you’re setting yourself up for old people jokes.

8

Fish videos?

9

I feel like Google took its cue from the Seinfeld-era way of looking at things: “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint – it’s delicious!”

It’s like businesses today are fine with being silly because their advertisements are already ridiculous and degrading.

Or maybe it’s just a resurgence of the Golden Age (the 50s, where everything seemed cheeky) of advertising?

10

I’m sad to say I know what a35362 is talking about. Basically it was observed that the fishmongers at Pike’s Place market in Seattle have a bunch of fun at their job even though it is filthy and exhausting.

So some moron decided (this moron, actually), the problem with the American workplace is that the employees are not invested in enjoying their work enough (conveniently removing all obligation from management to make the employees happier by, say, paying them more, or offering flexible schedules or telecommuting, or just showing them everyday respect). If you’re dissatisfied with your job it’s because you haven’t UNLEASHED YOUR CREATIVITY, etc. Not because you’re forced to work long hours at minimum wage in a humiliating uniform for a manager who calls you “cupcake” whenever he wants to.

While I reserve my ire for the “Who Moved My Cheese” school of overblown management-hype books, FISH! was pretty freaking stupid.

11

You remember the fish videos! Somebody made a video that was supposed to be about “how to deliver GREAT customer service” with these guys in a fish market in a mall in the PNW and they were all about showmanship and fun and getting the customers involved – throwing them their own fish – and you either thought they were great fun or really embarrassing but in no way did you think they had anything whatsoever to do with great customer service and middle-management made us phone-answering droids watch them as an example of how to deliver GREAT customer service.

And we had a middle-management supervisor who thought they were WONDERFUL and she gave us pens with little fish on the tops to remember our fun fish video.

12

Gah! Hello Again got there before me.

Actually we had the “Who Moved My Cheese?” seminar too, but that one was actually kind of helpful and made sense, as we were about to undergo MAJOR changes in out jobs with a new computer system. A lot of the old girls in the office at the time suddenly decided this would be a good time to retire.

13

Jesus Christ. I’m glad I work for the government now.

14

I work for the State of Illinois, actually. :smiley:

15

I think this kind of thing happens for 2 reasons. The first is that they are trying to seem fun and accessible to everyone. They want you to think of “people like you” working for this company and develop a friendlier relationship with them because of it. The second is the same reason that almost every product and service now comes with a warning to please not kill yourself with your purchase, which is that a segment of the population is made up of idiots who will jump off of the roof and not understand why their superman cape didn’t allow them to fly*. Those people need very simple, friendly, non-threatening words to explain things to them otherwise when there is a negative consequence for their having misunderstood what they read they will file a lawsuit whether or not it is legitimate.
*This could be anything really, from, “Holy shit these knives are sharp! I had no idea how easily they would cut through stuff in comparison to my 30 year old set that are being held together with duct tape. Someone could accidentally hurt themselves!” to “What do you mean cigarettes cause cancer? I smoke lights, dammit, and that means less cancery stuff just like diet soda means less calories, right? Why didn’t anyone warn me?”

16

If you can get this kind of language to feel unforced and relaxed then it really works. However:

Most businesses can’t.
More exclamation marks are not double plus make feel good for the customer, erm service user, erm profit potential unit!?!
They’re triple plus annoying!!!
In fact, the more you use them(!) the more fake you come across as!!!

It’s high time marketing departments realised that they’re not being the cool aunty giving you a fiver with a “Shh. Don’t tell your mam”, they’re being the scary aunty giving your eight year old self a big sloppy kiss that you desperately wanted to avoid and want to erase all traces of half a second later.

17

I happen to work in government as well but my encounter with both Fish! and Cheese was when I worked at the late, not terribly lamented Borders Group.

Worst part of it, not only were we forced to endure the humiliations of participating in this useless pseudo-fun, in order to keep our paychecks flowing we also had to try to sell the shit out of it so some other poor bastards could be as miserable as us. Ugh! I had to scrub my keyboard after writing marketing blurbs for it. I’m so ashamed. sobs and runs off

18

I do have to admit, I like “Hooray no spam here!” I like saying “Yay!” and “Hooray!” a lot, though. It never says “Hooray, no unread mail here” even though I’m good about checking my inbox.

19

It’s not confined to business communications; it’s a general change to an over-the-top, shoulder-punching tone where it isn’t necessary. You pick up a food magazine and read

and only then do you realize they’re describing a fuckin’ peanut butter sandwich. This style is ripe for satire by someone better at it than I am. In a few decades people will read this type of writing and think right away: This was written in the early 21st century.

20

In some cases, it’s just stupidity and trying to be cute, when a concise, professional statement or message would have worked just as well and been less annoying. Someone at these companies probably has the mistaken idea that it’s some sort of competitive advantage to their brand to have this kind of informal phrasing versus “your dad’s company” or whatever. The idea is that they’re “cool” or non-threatening or something like that, which is probably just about as cool as “cool” products marketed at kids that end in Zs instead of Ss.

In other cases, there’s probably a lesson that was learned in underestimating the stupidity of the general public. I suspect the power company Q&A is an example of that- they probably originally put it in businesslike english, and probably confused a bunch of drooling mouthbreathers, or demented and grumpy senior citizens so rather than continue to have the customer service headaches that come from that, they write it with those cretins as their target audience, figuring the rest of us may think it’s annoying, but can understand what’s being said.