I just started an IMHO thread: Who Wants People Kibble?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54443
Go there to vote YEA or NAY on this hot issue. If we get enough signatures, perhaps we can petition Purina.
I just started an IMHO thread: Who Wants People Kibble?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54443
Go there to vote YEA or NAY on this hot issue. If we get enough signatures, perhaps we can petition Purina.
According to P.J. O’Rourke in Eat The Rich, this product exists. It is called Unimix and is what we Americans were handing out in Somalia as part of our “humanitarian” mission, although feeding this stuff to people seems pretty cruel. According to P.J., it comes in 50 lb. bags and he referred to it as “a sort of Purina Famine Chow.”
A more useful question might be “Who would buy People Kibble?” and of course “how much?”
I think it would be neat if it existed, but I doubt I would buy much, if any, of it.
Lotsa laughs from me! Thanks!
In Norman Spinrad’s novel, Little Heroes they had People Kibble. It was available free from outdoor dispensers in urban areas. Naturally you had to be totally down and out to even consider touching it.
I’m sure we Dopers can come up with something more appetizing. But if we call it People Kibble we’ll have to credit Spinrad.
::runs over to IMHO to vote yes::
From the prisons, from the army, from the United Nations itself, formulae for People Kibble abound! It looks like not only can it be done, but it has been done. Now, if only we can get a product together to meet our criteria. And a company to do the R&D and production, and a distributor… but, one thing at a time. Especially since this idea was born out of my basic laziness.
So, the requirements:
Oh, and another thing… it needs to have a catchy name. People Kibble gets the point across, but lacks finesse. I’m eagerly awaiting SDMB suggestions. I think Spiny Norman came up with the tagline: “Refuel and keep moving.” Though that does imply a high fiber content…
So far, this thread has spawned a spinoff thread (Thanks to Toadspittle) and a T-Shirt (Thanks Tzel. Can’t wait to see it.) I knew I’d seen the idea elsewhere; its inclusion in the Matrix and Little Heroes (LifeWillFall and Myron, respectively and respectfully) indicate that it has roots in popular culture. The amount of interest here seems to indicate that we might be onto a multimilliondollar project.
Any Dopers around here own major corporations? Have we got a sales pitch for you…
Obviously those that work long hours, are rushed, are students, and those who might be stoned are in the market for People Kibble. I think there is a far larger market out there for just such a product (shall we call it “Yummy Ya-Yas”?)and that market is the rapidly aging population.
Physician and nursing journals are dense with articles on the dangers to the elderly from an improper, non-nutritional diet. Many of the elderly do not like, or want, to cook.
If the market currently offers vitamins for females, for the stressed and those over 50, why shouldn’t “Yummy Ya-Yas” be marketed in the same way?
Mr. Visible has a great idea at the right time. An idea that ought to come in two flavors: sweet and salty.
Hey, Clif Bars work for me. Odwalla Bars are good too, and they taste even better.
Hello Jrob and welcome to the SDMB.
You make a good point about the elderly as a possible market. The name “Yummy Ya-Yas” probably won’t work, though, as “ya-ya” is a popular euphemism for “vagina.”
Then again, it could make for some interesting marketing…
It looks OK, but what about fibre? Correct me if I’m wrong but there doesn’t seem to be any in the ingredients. Your colon wouldn’t be in very good health after a while.
It should be available as a porridge or something for those people wo have difficulty chewing. Maybe there could be several variants… “PeopleChow Silver! Original snack food, and now a creamy hot cereal!”
I guess my People Kibble brand won’t work. At 69, I try to keep up with slang but missed “ya yas”. Thanks Greenbean:)
I think this is a neat idea. But when I first clicked on the thread I was afraid it was going to be about something like soylent green.
What to call it… Life O’ Bits?
What do you think?
Can’t call it Sapien Chow, too many people don’t know what the word means.
How about Homo Chow?
There is a drink called Ensure Plus which is supposed to be a “complete meal replacement”.
It doesn’t taste good no matter what flavour it’s supposed to be though.
Then there’s these tasty prima-treats which, says the text, can be used as a sole food source for problem feeders. You get a box of 1000 for as little as $65 per box, if you don’t mind buying more than 15 boxes at a time all the same flavor (and they only come in 4 fruit flavors!). Each tablet weighs 5 grams, so a 5000 gram box would be what, 5 kilograms which is about 11 lbs - no indication of how any tablets are required per pound of body weight per day. However, each tablet has 17 calories. So let’s see. Your average college age man needs…2000 calories a day, let’s just say that for a rough estimate. He’d have to eat 118 tablets a day to meet this requirement, which means the $65 box would last about 8 1/2 days, at a cost of $7.65 per day. Plus shipping.
I don’t think they’d be very good with beer.
As a side note, the websites I looked at are all quick to point out that these diets are adequate for all non-human primates…what’s the difference? Our greater brain mass? Do we need more fat? That’s easy to add. Buy a bottle of high quality Omega-3 oil such as flaxseed or walnut, or hemp if you can get it, and take a tablespoonful a day. I can’t imagine what other differences are so critical that humans cannot survive adequately well on a diet that will serve all non-human primates just fine. I mean, people survive reasonably well on a diet of cola, frozen burritos, corn chips, and jumbo muffins. Okay, it’s not a very good diet and nobody in their right minds would call it healthy, but they also don’t keel over from scurvy, beri-beri, or what’s it called when you’re starving for protein so your belly gets all swollen out…?
Besides, nobody would really subsist on this stuff alone. They’d get a hamburger sometimes, or just be dying for a big green salad, and if they listen to their bodies’ hunger, they’d naturally make up most major shortfalls.
I am not volunteering to try living on this stuff.
I have no contribution except to say that this is one of my favorite threads in SDMB history.
The difference probably isn’t nutritional, at least not entirely. It’s legal. Manufacturers of animal foodstuffs are held to lower health and safety standards than those of human foods. I don’t have a cite for that, but that’s what I’ve always been told. shrugs
M’self, I think that Ensure Plus tastes delightful, and I’d use it for meal replacement if required. At 350 calories per can, you’d have to drink, what, six cans for normal caloric requirements … that seems manageable. I probably wouldn’t be too fond of it after the sixth can, though.
But it does say to be sure to consult a physician first if you plan to use Ensure or Ensure Plus as your only source of nutrition. Is that just for legal protection?
I’m surprised that no one has mentioned THIS.