Why get upset if someone parks in front of your house?

[curlcoat]

@Balthisar

So just go buy a car off of Craigslist and park it there next time the spot it empty. Park right in the middle so there’s no room in front or back. Make sure you get a really long car, like an early 70’s Electra or Bonneville.

We went the cheap route and bought some cones to put out when we were bringing the trailer to the house from storage. The issue is when we come home from where ever we went with the trailer and there would be cars parked in front of the house. Until the time those guys tried to pull the “no speak English” bit, we were being nice and not leaving my car parked in the middle of the spot for 2-3 days. No more.

@madmonk28

[I understand being annoyed with someone blocking your parking space, or being thoughtless, but I was surprised to see so many people describe seeing a car in front of their house as creepy, weird, or an act of aggression and talked about calling the police. A couple of people responded that they didn’t understand the reason for the car being there, it just creates this image for me of someone peering through their drapes at the outside world in dread and living their life in a defensive crouch.

I know it’s a cliché, but people in the burbs seem needlessly scared of the outside world. Crime is at a 40 year low, what are people so afraid of?

Crime may be at a 40 year low, but that is on average plus low doesn’t mean non-existent.

Also, I think the term suburbs is misleading, at least here in S Cal. We technically live in the suburbs, but the city is right there. Our area is pretty safe, but just a couple-3 miles north, the folks living in those suburbs are not safe. I don’t think anyone living here thinks a strange car out front is creepy or scary but I can see people living in north City thinking that.

@JuliaSqueezer

Needless to say, I was delighted and gratified when a big rental truck rolled up in front of their house, they filled it, and slunk away in the night. They’d defaulted on their mortgage. Speculation around the neighborhood was that all those SUV and pickup truck payments left them nothing for their mortgage.

I know it’s mean, but this is my hope and expectation for the folks across the street here. They can’t afford their mortgage, yet they spend money like water so I have to imagine it won’t be all that long before they will have to leave.

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:158, topic:597874”]

In our town, you can be ticketed for parking facing the wrong direction (i.e., parking on the left side of the street). If I am visiting someone who is on the left as I approach, I’m going to park on the right and walk across the street instead of making a U-turn or looping around a block or two. Don’t you do that?
[/QUOTE]

In the case of my across the street neighbors, they make a U-turn so they can park in front of my house going the right way, instead of parking in front of their own house.

[curlcoat]

@BigT

Seriously? It’s easy. If there are other places available, then you don’t need to park there. Just like, in an elevator, you might be okay with someone being rather close to you. But in a large room, it creeps you out.

It has nothing to do with ownership, and I don’t know why people think so. It has to do with the basic politeness of causing the least amount of offense possible. If something bothers someone, and it’s no big deal for you not to do it, you don’t do it. Unless you are intentionally trying to be an asshole.

I think this is what it boils down to - there are people who are only concerned with what is easiest for themselves and don’t really care about anyone else. Such as when I ask the neighbors to move their cars - it’s such an inconvenience, yet they don’t care at all that not doing so makes for a far bigger inconvenience for us. Not to mention whoever owns the house we’d be stuck parking a travel trailer in front of…

[otternell]

I’ve read the whole thread, and I completely get what people are saying on both sides. It does seem odd to even notice, but when someone’s actions don’t make sense to the viewer, its pretty common to think “Why did you do that?” And it is very much related to the personal space bubble that everyone has around their body, just extended to their property. Is it horrible that some cultures are close-talkers? No, but it will make me think “why?”. Same thing.

The part that bugs me is this: (snippage and bolding mine)

@elbows

I realize it’s a community/cultural thing, but in my community it would be very inappropriate. Instead of an unwritten code, we all agree to be** adult **about it <snip>

You keep saying that, like everyone else is being childish, and no one is. On one hand you say “sure lets ascribe it to a cultural difference”, but then you include this “adult” nonsense, which clearly implies that everyone who does it some other way is being childish. You could have simply written “in my community it would be inappropriate and we all agree to do x” instead of insulting everyone who acts in accordance with the norms of their area.

[Slide_in_the_Mud]

My parents live in a suburb, for the first time in there 50+ years. They are slightly crazy, and love to annoy the neighbors because they don’t quite fit in. They have a “war” going on with first our neighbors on the left, but over the years it is now almost every house on the street. It started when someone complained to my mom about putting up a solid wood fence instead of one with wire to look through. Now, five years later, 5 neighbors have moved, and my Mom and Dad do all they can to annoy the rest of who’s left. They freak out on people who park in front of the house even though they really don’t care. They have a three car garage on its own lot, so lots of space but they still complain. They stopped mowing the front yard so the itchy texas grass will bother people when they get out of their cars. I’ve come home to 3 foot grass!! Ridiculous haha. It drives me nuts because they don’t even care but still get a hoot out of bothering our conservative neighbors. At least they stopped “accidentally” throwing finger jello at the neighbor’s house.

[Flutterby]

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:158, topic:597874”]

In our town, you can be ticketed for parking facing the wrong direction (i.e., parking on the left side of the street). If I am visiting someone who is on the left as I approach, I’m going to park on the right and walk across the street instead of making a U-turn or looping around a block or two. Don’t you do that?
[/QUOTE]

I pull a u-turn so I don’t have to later to exit (cul de sac, if there is parking in front) or I go around the block so I’m on the right side ( it means I turn a block or so before where I’m going, I’d have to go around the block anyway to go back home so why not do it now?)

I understand why it’s irritating. I don’t mind out front because I have a driveway and garage to park in but they like to encroach on the driveway making it hard to exit without either fancy driving or scraping the bottom of my front bumper. It’s the guy who parks out back that pisses me off, as he parks ON my property to be out of the alleyway and fix his nasty truck (I rent, otherwise I’d have moved the fence so he couldn’t). Because he’s not blocking the alley bylaw won’t come out. He gives me the creeps though and I know he lives in the camper on the back of the truck (if he doesn’t I’d be very surprised). He’s also nearly crushed my garbage and recycle bins a few times (mere inch between him and the bins).

I solved that problem mostly by giving permission for the non-creepy neighbour to park his work truck there. Haven’t seen the other guy in awhile.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Bosstone

<snip>
It’s only when cultures meet that everything seems like a big conflict, because culture A isn’t familiar with the rituals culture B does regularly and assumes that because culture A is unused to them and would have to make a conscious effort to worry about them that culture B must have a big problem with it too.

Exactly. I’m going to copy this and use it next time we have a big discussion about taking your shoes off in the house.

@Slide_in_the_Mud

My parents live in a suburb, for the first time in there 50+ years. They are slightly crazy<snip>

I’m not sure “slightly crazy” is the accurate term here.

[elbows]

don’t really care about anyone else.

But it’s not that, I don’t think. It’s that they can’t imagine anyone would care about such an inconsequential thing, so much as to consider it rude, creepy or inappropriate! Or take it so personally. It would never cross my mind, I know. I’d just park and walk off, totally missing your miff or stink eye, I’m afraid.

You keep saying that, like everyone else is being childish, and no one is. On one hand you say “sure lets ascribe it to a cultural difference”, but then you include this “adult” nonsense, which clearly implies that everyone who does it some other way is being childish. You could have simply written “in my community it would be inappropriate and we all agree to do x” instead of insulting everyone who acts in accordance with the norms of their area.

On review, I can understand how you could read it that way, but it’s not really what I mean to convey. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I just meant that, in my community, public parking is expected to be shared, in all circumstances. And that we all just accept it, like, well adults. As in, we expect each other to suck it up and deal, if the space isn’t there when you return. I did not mean to imply that your unwritten code followers were all immature. If anything the unwritten code requires more maturity, to my mind, as it’s seems to breed quite a bit of conflict. Again, no insult was implied.

[DiosaBellissima]

I’m a suburbanite through and through, so I’ll concede that my experience no doubt is colored entirely by that. Growing up, you park in front of your neighbors’ houses only if you’ve got to and only for the shortest periods possible-- not because it’s illegal, but just because it’s polite.

Now, I live in a gated complex with a rabid HOA. My particular house is on a little cul-de-sac and my house is the last one on the straight bit of road, right before the “circle” part starts. Everybody parks in their double wide drive ways (so, wide enough for two cars) or in their 2-3 car garages.

A few months ago, two of the house on the cul-de-sac were rented out by the owners. One house had 6 or so cars, the other 5. Despite the fact that there is “overflow” guest parking right at the end of the street, the folks at these two houses would cover every foot of the straight parts of the curb (since it’s illegal–via the HOA rules-- for them to park on the rounded part) every single day. I found this mildly annoying because part of the allure of the neighborhood my home is in is that it’s got lots of gorgeous landscaping, old trees, and a lake. . . so cars (big ones, too- most are giant suvs or work trucks) blocking the view out front kind of suck.

What’s truly annoying, though, is that they would come in late and block in my driveway (there aren’t streetlights where I live, so I’ll buy that maybe they couldn’t see where my driveway started). The street is relatively narrow as it is, so often times I’d find it literally impossible to park in my own (empty) driveway because it would be physically impossible to get my Honda Accord in there without smashing a car or two. Then, despite my empty garage and driveway I’d like to park in, I would have to park at the end of the street in the overflow parking. Is it a big deal? No, but it’s lame that their lack of consideration means I’m inconvenienced, even if it is just mildly (I have two dogs I take to work with me each day, so it’s kind of a hassle to carry in two excited dogs + whatever crap I have from the day, especially when I was counting on getting right into my driveway).

One time, one of the neighbors pulled up in front of my house while I was getting something out of my car (in my driveway) and they actually blocked my driveway about a foot while I was standing there. I’m very much part of the “you catch more flies with honey” camp, so I very sweetly said, “Hi, I’m Diosa. I understand that it’s a bit of a hassle because you guys can’t park in front of your house, but can you please move your car? It’s fine if you park in front of my house, but you and your housemates regularly block in my driveway- heck, you’re blocking my car right now. I’d hate to accidentally hit you while trying to pull out, so do you think you could move your car a bit right now, then just let your housemates know for the future?” The guy sighed heavily, rolled his eyes, and walked off. Well fuck, I was trying to meet them in the middle.

I’ve never once, in four years, complained to the HOA. Now there’s a new HOA rule about how many cars each house can have parked because of those dickbags.

[Bosstone]

@elbows

On review, I can understand how you could read it that way, but it’s not really what I mean to convey. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I just meant that, in my community, public parking is expected to be shared, in all circumstances. And that we all just accept it, like, well adults. As in, we expect each other to suck it up and deal, if the space isn’t there when you return. I did not mean to imply that your unwritten code followers were all immature. If anything the unwritten code requires more maturity, to my mind, as it’s seems to breed quite a bit of conflict. Again, no insult was implied.

Move out to the suburbs. I guarantee you within a week you’ll develop a tic in your eye every time someone parks in front of your house.

It’s a function of location, not maturity. People in the city suck it up because they have to. You’ll go crazy if you get upset about sharing a small space with a lot of people. And even then, I’ll wager more than a few of them get annoyed without saying anything.

[doreen]

@Mama_Zappa

Why is it inappropriate? You’ve gone to a certain amount of trouble to shovel out your own car. You have to go somewhere. Then you want to come home… and if someone has taken the space you spent a lot of time making available, you have NOWHERE to park.

If you left the space “open”, anyone could come along and park there and they’d be within their rights. Putting a chair there says “hey, I had to work for this, please respect that”.

After a blizzard about 16 years ago, we had to dig our car out (nose-in parking spaces in front of our townhouse) and went grocery shopping. While we were out, the next-door neighbors went out, came back, and parked halfway into our space. We had nowhere else to go. We knocked on their door and asked them to come out and do something about the car (they had to do a bit more shovelling, but we were finally both able to park).

Saving chairs is not an unwritten rule where I live. People still try to do it even though it doesn’t make sense here.

I live in Queens. Although it is NYC, plenty of us have cars - but it’s not really a car city. Aside from large shopping malls and some supermarkets, most destinations don’t have parking lots. Commercial uses are mixed in with residential uses - the apartment over the store , dr’s office in a house, library, schools etc on residential streets.Wherever I go, if I’m going to park,I’m using a space someone else shoveled out. It makes no sense to reserve spaces with a lawn chair - if I’m going to hold my space with a lawn chair, then it’s seems to me I’m going to have to have to respect the lawn chairs in the spaces when I arrive at my destination. Which leaves me nowhere to park when I get to where I’m going. It only works for the people who save their spaces and are going to one of the few destinations with a parking lot or those who save their space and have no problem parking in spaces that others have shoveled out ( marked or not).

[elbows]

Move out to the suburbs. I guarantee you within a week you’ll develop a tic in your eye every time someone parks in front of your house.

You’d be wrong on that count, I’ve lived in the suburbs, several times in my life. It didn’t bother me then, any more than it does now. I simply don’t pay it any mind, and am surprised there are people who are so invested in such a trivial thing. It’s eye opening, to be sure. I suppose such feelings are why HOA’s exist, in the first place. So like minded people can live together.

I can’t imagine living in such a community, myself, but I’m not much of a fan of the hall monitor type myself. Seeing how personally people take this, they make a lot more sense to me now, though.

[StuffLikeThatThere]

I’m finding the chair-in-parking-space conversation fascinating. I’ve never heard of it. We live in the boonies and have lots of space, so it’s never come up. But I have participated in another kind of chair agreement, one that people who ain’t from these parts find weird.

Every year, a town near us holds a Fourth of July festival. It is a gigantic deal. The population of the town is under 10,000, but they get around 50,000 people in town the evening of the big fireworks display (according to the police department). The parade is also a huge draw, and way way bigger than you’d possibly expect for a town of that size.

About 24 hours before the parade starts, chairs and blankets start appearing on the parade route, in that strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street. They remain, undisturbed by anyone, until the parade, when their owners claim them and enjoy the parade from their reserved spot, and then fold them up and take them home. It looks rather odd if you drive into town early that morning when nothing else is happening. If you don’t claim a spot (I rarely do, because I rarely go into town twice that close together), it’s not a big deal. There’s plenty of room, though maybe not in the very best spots. Of course it’s not legally sanctioned, but no one would dream of messing with someone else’s chair/blanket. It’s just not done.

Some friends of ours moved to that town from a largish city several years ago, and they were gobsmacked. Now they toddle on down the morning of the parade and plant their own chairs. Assimilation is complete, I guess.

ETA: The parade route is mostly not residential, and the library does not get pissy if you claim a bit of lawn in front of their sidewalk. I would, however, consider it rude to claim a spot in front of someone’s house without permission. Now I’m curious whether this happens, and whether there’ve been altercations over it.

[curlcoat]

@elbows

But it’s not that, I don’t think. It’s that they can’t imagine anyone would care about such an inconsequential thing, so much as to consider it rude, creepy or inappropriate! Or take it so personally. It would never cross my mind, I know. I’d just park and walk off, totally missing your miff or stink eye, I’m afraid.

In the case of my neighbors, it’s that they don’t care since it has been pointed out to them many times that parking in front of our house can turn into a serious hassle for us. To them, the convenience of having two of their vehicles parked in the shade trumps the convenience of me being able to get easily in and out of my driveway, not having to pick up trash and/or being able to pull the trailer in front of the house without hassle after a weekend away.

@elbows

You’d be wrong on that count, I’ve lived in the suburbs, several times in my life. It didn’t bother me then, any more than it does now. I simply don’t pay it any mind, and am surprised there are people who are so invested in such a trivial thing. It’s eye opening, to be sure. I suppose such feelings are why HOA’s exist, in the first place. So like minded people can live together.

I can’t imagine living in such a community, myself, but I’m not much of a fan of the hall monitor type myself. Seeing how personally people take this, they make a lot more sense to me now, though.

You really seem to have a problem understanding other mindsets as being acceptable and adult. Not wanting to have someone create a hassle for you due to their inconsiderate and/or oblivious rudeness is not being a “hall monitor”. Simply because some types of trespass don’t bother you doesn’t mean that others are being childish about it.

[Gary_Robson]

Here’s what I’m still not getting:

Everyone seems to acknowledge that the street in front of your home is public property, and that other people have the legal right to park there. Many have mentioned that they have their own vehicles that – when they’re home – occupy the space in front of their house. If nobody is around but the residents and the occasional visitor, all is well. But is that really all that’s in your neighborhood?

In our town, there is a very small strip that’s “commercial,” although there are schools and doctor’s offices and things outside that strip. The restaurant where we had breakfast today, for example, is pretty much surrounded by houses on three sides (the fourth side is a school). There is no parking lot for the restaurant. The school has highly inadequate parking. Where are people expected to park when they’re having breakfast or going into the school to talk to their son’s teacher?

I don’t think there’s a business in town that’s more than a block from a residence. Most are closer than that. People park in front of houses. That’s just life.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Probably most people in that scenario don’t get annoyed, as there is less a presumption of “ownership” of the space in front of their house.

[elbows]

some types of trespass don’t bother you

You’re right of course, but probably because I’m having a hard time seeing a car, legally parked, in view, as a trespass.

If anyone truly finds it such a trespass, (rude, inconsiderate, whatever), why wouldn’t they choose an HOA community, they have rules about just such things it seems. No doubt because others feel as strongly about this, too.

[curlcoat]

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:174, topic:597874”]

In our town, there is a very small strip that’s “commercial,” although there are schools and doctor’s offices and things outside that strip. The restaurant where we had breakfast today, for example, is pretty much surrounded by houses on three sides (the fourth side is a school). There is no parking lot for the restaurant. The school has highly inadequate parking. Where are people expected to park when they’re having breakfast or going into the school to talk to their son’s teacher?

I don’t think there’s a business in town that’s more than a block from a residence. Most are closer than that. People park in front of houses. That’s just life.
[/QUOTE]

That is very different from here - I’d be extremely surprised to find a restaurant with no parking lot and a school with inadequate parking. And for the most part, the “space” of a commercial building doesn’t intersect with homes - for example, there is a little strip mall essentially at the end of our block, except that it faces the other way and there is no way to go directly to it from here, you have to go down to the cross street, to the boulevard that runs behind us and then walk to the strip mall that way. Or I suppose climb over the fence of the houses that back up to it…

@elbows

You’re right of course, but probably because I’m having a hard time seeing a car, legally parked, in view, as a trespass.

If anyone truly finds it such a trespass, (rude, inconsiderate, whatever), why wouldn’t they choose an HOA community, they have rules about just such things it seems. No doubt because others feel as strongly about this, too.

I’m sorry, I’m giving up on you here because you just aren’t getting it and I’m too tired to keep trying. There is a big difference between a legally parked car and some of the things described in this thread.

Also, you aren’t putting the person you are quoting in your responses again.

[Bosstone]

@elbows

If anyone truly finds it such a trespass,

That’s kind of the thing. Not many people “truly” find it a trespass. Most people just get annoyed about it. Someone started a thread, so to pass the time those of us who get annoyed at a perceived intrusion into personal space started chatting about it.

Why is it that every time someone discusses a minute facet of their life in a thread, it’s assumed to take up a significant portion of their psyche? This thread, threads griping about work (99% love the job, complain about the 1% you don’t like, you’re told ‘if it’s that awful why don’t you just quit?’), and other threads where tiny aspects of daily life seem to get disproportionate time devoted to them all suffer from this. It’s not as big a deal as you’re making it out to be, and your endless condescension and presumption that suburbanites dwell on this to the detriment of their character is really getting tiresome.

[Guinastasia]

We don’t have a garage, or a driveway, so the spot in front of our house is OUR parking space. If a person parks there, then WE have nowhere to park.

We also have asshole neighbors who, while they park in front of their houses, do so sticking out in the middle of the road. Yeah, it’s public space, but it’s also a hazard to everyone else.

[Cheesesteak]

I live across the street from a park, and frequently have folks parking in front of my house to do park-related things. There is even one fellow who has a distinct preference for one of the spots, as it is shaded by a tree. No harm, no foul, even when it’s wall to wall cars, just as long as I can make my way out.

However, I admit to being annoyed by my ex-neighbors’ when they would park in front of my home. Not because I have ownership over the spots, but because they were deliberately avoiding parking in front of their own home. They would park in front of my door, when they could pull straight forward 30 feet and park in front of their own door, or use their driveway. I eventually figured out that they were trying to avoid having their landlord know how many visitors they had, and how frequently they stayed.