This is something I’ve put off posting for 8 months, and is just a statemant to let you know what’s going, in my life. You’ll get why I react sometimes to things in ways you don’t expect, but I think I’ve done well in the catagory of not whining and bitching. We all get too much of that daily.
I’ve been seriously sick since 1999-2005 and am just starting to function again. I have 5 years of almost no memory, it starts back up in 2005. I lost most of my friends during that time to various cancers and other crap. I don’t react well when people die anymore, even if they’re only an acquaintance. The only people I know any more are acquaintances, since when your ill and the few friends you have die, you don’t make ant new friends. My bad luck comes in streaks and I hope this doesn’t zero in on my family. When it rains it floods for me. Augh!
I never found out what was wrong, but my immune system was attacking everything. I was a swollen blimp covered in rash most of the time. Before the extreme swelling started occurring, my whole body had been hurting like when a limb tingles from falling asleep. I also got what I have to describe as Charlie Horses in all parts of my body. The muscles on my feet would contract and I had to press them against the floor and put my weight on them .I couldn’t bend my sausage like fingers, my lips would tingle and in one minute they were swollen as big as the skin would stretch. I’ve had blisters form from the swelling causing the cells to break. It started in July 1999 when I couldn’t stand for more than 10 minutes and had to shuffle around. In the summer of 2005 I was improving enough to start thinking in sentences again, so long as I used simple words. I came back to the board in the fall of 2005 as a good place to restore my memory . Everything was scrambled at the time and I didn’t know if a memory was fact or fiction. In the last couple of months my vocabulary has expanded to something akin to what it used to be. I still type words wrongly for weeks until something clicks and I realize how badly it looks. I still find my fingers typing words that I don’t mean to, but not this severe anymore. “The hills are high.” becomes “The duck is quacking.” Wrap your mind around that one. This spring I was still slow on recalling facts, and a few funny ones came up. Nuclear war was discussed and I thought “Well at least our space colonists will survive to keep man alive.” Then I realize how wrong that thought had been. The medical shows would have someone about to die, and I would think “Put them in cryo-sleep while you wait for the cure.” Or “Put them in stasis before they die idiot.” I lost all ability to deal with time. The summer went by and it seemed a week had gone by. This spring I couldn’t separate last years Mother’s Day events from last years. They all seemed to have happened the same time. This is only the smallest part, and I need to stop now. I said I shouldn’t post when upset, but I really did hold back. Now you people know a small part of the last few years of my wreck of a life. I need to state this “I was turned down for disability, and given notice that I was 100% capable of working, and since I wasn’t 65 I could only redress the issue by resubmitting. Now that my brain is working again I realized that was a straight out lie and have given relatives the order to get a lawyer to resolve this immediately, if I can’t think again. I’ve also had to deal with severe Sydenhams Chorea since 1st grade, which was enough of a problem to deal with alone.
Now you know why Harmonious Discord has discord.