Do you? Some folks seem to actually have real friendships and other relationships here, and I’ll be damned if I understand it. I was perusing the LiveJournal the other day (To a certain person: Yes, I may not post there, but I do, on occasion, read it), and was more than a little surprised at the sort of relationships formed outside of the boards by some people.
I’ll be frank with you, I barely even think of any of you as human. I don’t mean that in a bad way, it is just like my mind treats all of the people here as if they were some overly complicated eliza program. I am a little shocked whenever anyone points out that they are of a certain gender, sexual preference, or race, because I have a hard time incorporating that with my limited view of any of you. I am flabbergasted when anyone mentions me in another thread without my direct prompting, or otherwise displays some extended memory of me. Outside of Samstone there is no poster that I really remember. Sure I may recognize names, but I’ll be damned if I remember anything about Guin, Bosda. Euty et al. Even when I get flamed quite a bit I don’t really hold a grudge because 1. It is unlikely I will remember who posted what a half hour from now. 2. I don’t really think of it as being “real people” who posted it. 3. Hi Opal, this is the only thing I remember about you.
Even if someone is particularly nasty to me I don’t avoid them as I would a person, I avoid them as I would some faulty machine or mean dog. At least that is close to how I think of it.
Is anyone else like this? Or am I some lonely, sick freak. Or is that aside from the point?
Anyway, I am tired. Enough incoherent rambling for tonight.
I’m on the fence here. I remember names (yours (and all the moderators/administrators among them) and I often remember facts like Qadgop being a doctor, Esprix and matt_mcl being gay and Mangetout and Polycarp being Christians. But I very rarely recognize posting styles and the like, and so wouldn’t wince if someone wrote something way out of character. The exception is people who, shall I say, make their mark, such as lekatt or His4Ever, and people with whom I’ve had not-so-friendly disputes (you know who you are).
I will say that meeting any of you in real life (or even seeing pictures as I have of Polycarp, Esprix, Indygrrl and others) would be surreal experience, as I know from meeting Usenet buddies. No-one ever looks anything like their typing.
Some are more memorable than others, and those I have met in person become memorable because of that. I certainly don’t think of the boards as a program - actually, I visualize it as a town, or maybe a convention center with lots of big rooms full of different exhibits and conversations.
Some people make a greater impression on me, others I notice in passing, but I see this all as very real. Definitely a community.
It’s different for me. I have learned posting styles, and to a certain degree, peoples’ personalities. I know there are some people who like me, and some who do not.
There are some I feel very close to, and some I will be cordial to , and will treat as acquaintances rather than friends, just like in real life.
There will be people who, like me, may need a little special attention from time to time, and I am happy to give it. Afterward, I will spare a thought and wonder how that person is doing.
I especially have to mention my new friends on the SDMB Weight Loss Club and Zenster, whom I would love to meet someday.
I may be totally off-base with the personalities I have assigned these people, but I am comfortable with them in this medium.
So I don’t turn my thoughts of SDMB off when I shut my computer down. I think about things y’all have posted and think about what y’all might be like.
I stay out of the more intense fora (great debates, the pits [typo, but, what the hell, sic]) – I come here to hang out and have fun, so I’m mostly MPSIMS, IMHO, and Cafe Society, with an occasional stroll through General Questions on the off-chance that there’s something being discussed there I know something about.
I defintely have a few pals, and a few other people I’d like to get to know better; there’s people I see regularly who I think "Oh, I like “him/her” (or, if I know their gender, “him” or “her”) without more investment than that; there’s a few people I regularly post in the same threads with, but who I don’t have strong feelings about; and only one person who’s on my personal asshat list.
I don’t do Live Journal, though I have a dormant account over there – my “friendships” are mostly passing greetings in threads, exchange of emails, and instant-messaging (in rising order of “intimacy”). I refer to these people as my online pals – and no, my bf doesn’t get it either.
It can be tough at times to ascribe full-fledged personalities to people on here on the basis of their posts. Meeting them enhances that, but it’s still not the same as interacting with them constantly. This place is just too darn big to be intimate.
I’ve been to about six Dopefests, talk to several people online through e-mail, ICQ/AIM/Y!/MSN and LiveJournal, and enjoy reading certain people’s posts.
However, 99.9% of the people here I have absolutely no personal connection with whatsoever, so, like you, they remain non-personal (although I wouldn’t go so far as to call them programs) and I don’t give them much thought until such time as I am given a reason to personalize them, or at least interact with them in a thread somewhere.
Basically, it’s like being in a place with lots of people in real life.
My perception of the individuals here is more akin to that of a business relationship developed over the phone. I usually don’t know what they look like but I usually remember at least rudimentary aspects about their personality that decidedly are on the increase the more I’m around them.
“Some overly complicated eliza program”? Hardly. Them’s real folks here with real needs, contributions and emotions and they’re quite worthy of being treated as such.
Strange ain’t it…how different folks view the boards. I realize that “we” are all just people and I remember things I’ve read about many of you.
Just a few brief examples, who doesn’t remember the lost soul Justhink with his incoherent rants (from Oregon IIRC) I hope he is better.
and Poly bless his heart, East Coast…glad to see things worked out, luv ya.
Lola from NY formerly Aussie and NOW a dual citizen. Hey sexy
Pantellerite homesick Texas girl from Alpine IIRC went to Sul Ross U…
Lobsang Isle of Man…has bouts of depression, likes to stir it up w/ y’all some but has a heart of gold.
I could do this for awhile, (sorry if I missed ya) all off the top of my head. Point is, we are just folks, from many walks of life, with many, many differences and similarities. All hopefully with common goal “fighting ignorance”, even our own.
Am I the only one who is tempted to pit Maub’Dib and really trash him and call him all kinds of unspeakable names?
Either that or borrow 50 bucks from him. Either way he won’t remember.
Lets see
FCM from FL and has a perfect child and is in fact a MILF. Bosda likes to link to articles that outrage him. He gets outraged 3-7 times a day it seems. Eve wears out-dated eyeware and is really funny and knows way too much about silent films. Alice_in_Wonderland has had may disasters lately, dying pets, BO, stys, and pants that are too large. Snooopy is funny especially when he lives in MotherF**kingshire.
Skerri used to be in love with ME till she went out and found a RL boyfriend and became a Baltamoron for him.
Then there are Welby, Scylla and Rue, whose posts are required reading.
AirmanDoors and MrRobyn are married and have a child and I believe are currently in the Pitts.
Eve is the only of those I have meet in person. I have meet others and I could go on for a long time
No shit lieu I assumed as much since Sul Ross is or was a womens college. Perhaps he taught there. In any event, nobody’s perfect esp. their memory. This was from a thread posted last year.
and then there’s lieu one of the boards favorite ??
Please don’t take this as snippy, but it’s been apparent to me from the limited contact I’ve had with you that this is the case.
I used to be the same way about people I interacted with online, but over the years more and more of my interaction is over the net, so I’ve begun to see screennames more as people.
I’ve formed friendships over the last decade that are still quite strong, and most of the people I consider my true friends are people I’ve never met.
I think in a way it’s good sometimes not to get too involved emotionally and to distance yourself, because there is a lot of trust and energy involved in keeping up acquaintances online. However, I believe in the end it’s a much more rewarding thing to let yourself open up and become a little more personally involved. I’ve found some of the best friends I’ve ever had are people I probably would never have given a second look to in real life, and I find that I’m able to connect in a much deeper way with some friends in that I get to know them for who they are by their words and thoughts rather than who I interpret them to be.
