Why has no one told me about Ale-8-One?

I had some at the Cincinnati airport over the weekend and now I crave. I also got to smoke indoors in a real smoking section at the same airport so that’s just an added bonus.

And, for that matter, the same No One that didn’t tell me about Ale-8-One ALSO neglected to inform me about Barritts BERMUDA STONE GINGER BEER.

I am very, very bitter at No One. Fucking bastard. I’m sure you are, too, but I’m wondering what your reasons are.