I got Jennifer Aniston. Probably they didn’t think to put Ally Sheedy in the database…
So then, just to be strange { }, I took the one for women (or to get men, or whatever); very odd answer choices on that one. I got Will Smith.
…
Well, he’s likable and all, but–maybe they misunderstood me. “fun-loving,” yeah–“jiggy,” not really.
…
OK, yeah, I’d hang out with Will Smith before I would a lot of guys. Maybe that’s the point.
hmmmm… maybe I should go for that Jennifer Aniston type, after all…
I got Harrison Ford. Gee, what a surprise. Well, I did like him when I was 13…So, I did the switch-gender thing and ended up with Lauryn Hill. Much better!
*We sense a strong desire to satisfy the hopelessly romantic side of you. Your disposition leans towards the dramatic, and we think we’ve found just the man to satisfy your inner longings for someone to sweep you off your feet. This 38 year old Pisces is a thoroughbred Italian Stallion who knows how to woo a woman. He’s a muscle-bound hunk of romance, and we think that he’ll make you weak in the knees as he sounds out the words from one of his co-authored romance novels. Just try to resist this passionate specimen as he lights aromatic candles, plays his best easy-listening CD’s, while feeding you strawberries and champagne. One date with XXXXX, and you’ll know why they call it “la dolce vita.” *
But FABIO?!?!?!?!?!
UUUUUGHHHHHH!!! Say it ain’t so!!!
You turn me on. But maybe it’s because I just spent 20 years in the jungle, getting it on with anything I could attract with a piece of fruit.
How could you? O.K., I knew about Brad Pitt, how you’ve been pretending the past couple of years to be his girlfriend. But of course that’s not for real. I know that he’s gay and that he needs some blonde bimbo at his side for public appearances so he can keep up the fiction that he’s straight. Gwyneth Paltrow did that for a while, but now it’s your turn. (Hey, she won an Oscar for her acting. Maybe you will too.) I didn’t mind about that.
But now I understand you’ve been flirting with ARG220 and foolsguinea. How could you? Once I took the Celebrity Matchmaker test, I knew that you were the perfect woman for me, even though I have trouble spelling your name right, even though I don’t watch your show very much, even though I’m not even certain which one you are. (Are you the one who was in Scream, or are you the one who was in The Opposite of Sex?)
I know now that you’re the only woman for me. You’re the only woman who I want to marry, or who would want to marry me. Heck, you’re the only woman who would date me or even notice that I’m alive. But I’m a nice guy and I’ll make you proud of me. In fact, when you get together with those other two actresses from Friends, you’ll be able to boast that your stalker is a nicer guy than their stalkers.
Okay, so I’m bored. I took the test as if I were a man or gay.
*Shania Twain is the one for you, and we are sure she will impress you much. This Country music beauty is quite a prize. Not only does she sing like an angel and speak with a twang, but she is a complete knockout. Based on your answers, you desire a woman with class, ambition and beauty who fully dedicates herself to all of her endeavors. She has acheived a great balance between southern charm and an independent air, and she is a confident and competent woman. This country chick is quite a catch, and if you’re lucky, you’ll be the one she dreams of, the one she wants for life. *
I can deal with it. I don’t like her music, but she is pretty hot.
You turn me on. But maybe it’s because I just spent 20 years in the jungle, getting it on with anything I could attract with a piece of fruit.
Here’s a new one: Brandi Chastain of US Soccer fame. Other than the fact that her name is “Brandi” I don’t think I have a problem with their pick. I guess this just confirms what I’ve always known: I’m a total sports nut.
}, I took the one for women (or to get men, or whatever); very odd answer choices on that one. I got Will Smith.