Why I believe in God, by XXX

I am an atheist, and I recently got into a conversation about God with one of my Christian freinds, and she proceeded to tell me about one of the instances where a prayer of hers came true, in an attempt to convert me. I am paraphrasing but it went something like this:

Ugh! :rolleyes:

Sorry, but i kept reading the first sentence as :
“Well, there was this one time at Bible camp where we had to go do group study, and I stuck a Bible in my----.”

This one time, at Bible camp…

No, I can’t make myself say it. Ask her sometime how non-Christians manage to find their keys each morning.

Damn you, gobear!

Great rant! Well thought out, great, relevant point, well supported, and on a topic we’ve never discussed before!

:rolleyes:

Well, ya know Bible’s got a way of doing that sorta stuff. Why, everytime I check into a hotel, I look to find the local telephone book and …(mysterious eerie music playing in background) always, right beside the phone book, I find…

A BIBLE

It’s either a miracle or God is stalking me. :wink:

I have a restraining order on God, He’s not supposed to come withing 500ft of me. Unfortunately, He breaks the rules all the time, it’s like He’s everywhere, dammit!

swampbear, that’s actually not a Bible. It’s just the New Testament. They leave out the Old Testament because that’s where all the sex is.

jar, I didn’t take this as a rant against Christianity, but a rant against using coincidences as absolute proof of G-d’s existence.

jarbaby, I didn’t get the feeling that this was another blanket condemnation of Christians. Did you?

I think jarbabyj’s point was that this was more of an MPSIMS than a rant. We’re treated to an inane anecdote (man, that sounds weird) with no follow-up. No commentary. No loving description of what the OP proceeded to do (or wished to do - blast those Commandments!) to his friend and her magical Bible. No rant. We have standards in this forum, y’know.

That must be the Family Circus version of god, who doesn’t seem to notice any problems in the world except misplaced items or lost puppies.

My goodness, where to begin? The love of God surrounds me.

There was once a man dearest to my heart, the cornerstone of my existence, really. Sadly, he fell into drug abuse, contracted HIV, and died under saddening circumstances. I thought I was finished. Only the love of God could have pulled me through.

Then there was the time when I fell into association with an underage girl. I was irresistably attracted to her presence, but when she turned eighteen, she–with the help of her own mother–blew the whistle on me and took everything. Yet the love of God helped me to persevere.

I feared that a new technology’s lack of quality would undermine me, but instead, with the help of God, I proliferated! And can I just get a big “Halleluiah!” for the Internet, folks? Nothing proves to me the existence of a kind, benevolent God more than the Internet.

I was saved only by the love of God. When John Holmes died, God sent me Peter North! When Traci Lords sued me, God sent Jenna Jameson! When the videotape industry made cheap, low quality porno widely available, God turned it into amateur .mpegs!

It’s plain for me to see that I, The Porno Industry, continue to grow, to continue to exist, only by the grace of God. Praise the Lord and pass the K-Y!

Best Regards,

XXX

XXX might also be Vin Diesel.

Well, I NEVER!

Hmphhhh…

*Kamandi, the OP just seemed like a quick bitch to me. I dunno if it’s worthy of a whole thread, but whatever.

I just noticed that jarbaby has gotten a little touchy (and perhaps not without reason) over the frequent put-downs of Christians and Christianity lately, and thought she mighta jumped the gun on this one.

Dude, who the fuck are you to judge her? It was obviously an important event in her life, and it made her feel like there was something bigger than herself out there. Good for her, I say. It certainly didn’t sound like she was condemning homosexuals or diddling kids, instead she was sharing a part of her faith with you.

And what do you do with it. Put it on a message board and make fun of her. Great. You must be so fucking proud. Arrogant shithead.

I have to admit that if anything’s going to catch my instant attention, it’s the combination of “XXX” and “Vin Diesel” in the same sentence, with a link, no less!

jayjay

I’m guess that the fact that she was a Christian preaching to her friend on how to find God, she was the first one to pass judgment - at least enough to pass on an inane story that made me want to reach for a healthy dose of insulin (or cyanide, whichever’s closest). If you’d like, Chekmate could have gone on about how this Christian believes that prayers are wishes, things that “come true.”

Regardless, this is the kind of bullshit that other Christians have to deal with when they want to be taken seriously. It’s all the harder for me to put across a coherent statement of beliefs when someone else’s statement of beliefs rests on the fact that God found a misplaced item.

It’s crap like that that gives the rolleyes smilie a purpose in life.

I have a story about a found Bible too. I think upon it when my faith needs reaffirming.

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a
hotel. He asked the hat check girl to come up to his room
for dinner. After a while he started making passes, when she
stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man.

“It’s OK,” he replied, “it’s written in the Bible.”

So after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see
where in the Bible it says it’s okay to have wild, passionate
sex.

The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first
page where someone wrote in pencil:

“The hat check girl puts out!”