The entire reason is because everyone in America becomes so fucking distracted by thinking about the holidays, thinking about their plans, thinking about the gifts they need to buy, thinking about the stores they have to visit…
That they all drive like the distracted assholes that they are.
Seriously. Forty miles an hour in the left lane of a 55 zone for five miles. Sixty in the left lane of the 70 zone on the highway. People reading fucking lists of paper while they’re driving down the road.
Intersections of four lane county roads blocked solid because God Forbid that anyone should be paying attention when the lights turn green…or red. Cars blocking roads, entryways, intersections, other people who are trying to get out of their spots, because the whole rest of the world can go fuck themselves while Susie thinks about what she has left to buy her little snowflakes.
Hell, nearly getting run down as you walk out of a store because Bob is in such a hurry to get to the store three doors down that he zips through the stop signs in front of Target at 30mph.
People taking three solid days to back out of a parking spot because they’re not really paying attention, they’re reviewing the contents of the packages on the back seat while they’re facing that direction and their car just happens to be moving.
Hell, for that matter, people IN the stores acting like distracted assholes.
Look you stupid fucker, you know ahead of time that the clerk is going to ask you for money when they ring up your purchase. Stop staring into space and pull out your motherfucking wallet or purse already and get your fucking money out NOW. Don’t make them tell you your total three times before you shake your head, say “oh yeah” and start digging for your money.
Don’t walk out into the main aisle, right in front of me, stop dead and stare off into space.
Don’t take your entire clan, then walk six abreast through the mall or down the main aisle at the store. The rest of us have a right to use those spaces too and no, we’re not being rude when we attempt it. You are, by taking up the entire fucking aisle.
DO NOT WALK ONE DIRECTION WHILE LOOKING IN ANOTHER.
Especially when pushing a cart.
Do not walk two feet inside the door to the store and stop dead.
Don’t park your cart on one side of the aisle, your ass on the other, and cease all apparent brain activity. If you do, don’t be an asshole when someone says “excuse me” or asks you to move. They’re not being mean or rude, YOU ARE.
Don’t run ahead of me in a desperate attempt to get ahead of me in line for the register, remember that you forgot something, then leave your 10 year old standing in line while you go back for it. I may just strangle the obnoxious little shit and hide his body in the impulse item bin while you’re gone.
Don’t argue with the cashier about the price of something to the point where it takes 10 minutes for them to verify the price, leaving the rest of us either stranded behind your selfish ass, or scrambling to get into other lines.
Don’t absent-mindedly yet repeatedly ram your cart into my ankles when you’re behind me in line.
(Yes, one year a woman did this three times, finally drawing blood. I then threatened to ram the cart up her ass if she did it again. When the clerk threatened to call the manager, I said that if she wanted to do that, I’d also like her to call the police so that I could have the woman charged with Battery - and held up one of my bloody ankles to show the clerk what had happened. (I am that flexible) The 40-something upper middle class white woman then fled the store (walking, not running), never having said a word even though I’d said something to her each time she’d shoved her cart into my heels. Of course, to the teenage girl cashier, I was the bad guy for making the threat, even though both my ankles were bleeding pretty good and my socks were ripped.
Damn, another case where I probably could have sued someone, but didn’t because it’s not my nature.)
Believe it or not people, there are actually these entities known as “other people” who still exist at this time of year.
FUCKING PAY ATTENTION!