I haven’t had much personal experience with this phenomenon, but it seems to me like getting kids between the ages of 1-3 to eat anything is tough. They’ll take a small bite, their attention will wander, you put another bite in their mouth and they don’t really eat, etc.
Is it because they’re just not hungry?
Is their food really that bad? I mean, it’s just pureed fruits and veggies, right? Most hungry adults will eat even mildly unpleasant foods.
And it’s just not sometimes, it seems like every feeding requires a good amount of coaxing.
Also, it seems like it’s an issue more when they start solid foods . . . most of them take to the breast/bottle pretty well . . . they will drink until they’re full and then stop
Is there any factual basis behind babies’ reluctance to eat?
Two ideas that probably have a bit of truth to them.
One is that small children are more sensitive to food-borne diseases. It makes evolutionary sense for them to be more discerning about what they eat, and they are probably more sensitive to unusual flavors, odors and textures. In any case, from an evolutionary perspective they would likely be breastfeeding through most of this period, so they have little to gain and lots to lose by trying lots of different food.
Another is that small children begin to develop a desire to control their actions and assert their individuality, but have few means of doing that. Being fed puts you in a pretty powerless situation, and the only way you have to gain control is to refuse to eat. Refusing your food is one of the first acts a child does to show their own will.
I was told by a doctor friend that at that age, there they are starting to develop an independent personality, but there are very few things that they can actually control – most of their daily actions are controlled by parents or caretakers. However, eating/refusing to eat IS one of the few things they can control. So children do that to take some control over their environment. It’s mainly a contest of wills. Not much to do with their hunger, the taste of the food, etc. – just control issues.
He also said that there is nothing much to be concerned about medically regarding nutrition – most infants get plenty of nutrition, vitamins, etc. from their diet, even when they are being ‘picky’ eaters. And the battle of wills over eating is a good thing – your child is learning to assert themself and make choices. A needed development for a child, however much it may be annoying at the moment.
What t-bonham@scc.net said.
Don’t worry. Healthy children will eat if they’re really hungry. That battle of wills usually takes place when they’re not really hungry.
When our dinner consists of something the kids are somewhat less than thrilled about, they usually just peck. They’ll have to take one bite (they’re not allowed to go “I don’t like…” unless they know for sure, and you can’t know for sure unless you’ve tasted it), but if they won’t eat, they wont eat. Usually, half an hour later, they want a snack and are calmly told when the next real meal will be. They whine a bit, but they don’t look very much like they’re starving…
You don’t feed a 2 or a 3 year old on a diet of pureed fruits and veggies. Our 2 and a half year old eats the same meals we do most of the time. From six months until maybe a year their diet is mostly made up of mashed, pureed or finely chopped stuff but once they have the hang of swallowing, the rest is pretty much only limited by what you choose to give them and what they choose to eat.
For what it is worth, my kid loves food and eats most things - she’s not crazy about meat but she loves fruit, veggies and dairy products. She tried Indian food for the first time about twelve months ago, and she enjoyed it. Over winter I’ve been making a pumpkin, lentil and spinach curry in the slow cooker that she loves. My spicy pumpkin soup is a hit with her too, it’s what she asks for if I ask what she wants for dinner.
Not eating is not an every-kid phenomenon, and I’m not even sure it’s a most-kids phenomenon. I think it’s just a popular topic of conversation by frazzled parents who are frustrated by it so it seem more prevalent than it really is.
You’ll have better luck if you don’t actually state your intentions to the small child vendor.
If they’re hungry, they’ll eat. During the first year you don’t get many picky eaters because they’re are growing at an amazing rate. Then they start doing other things rather that just growing–walking, talking, finding things to play with, putting everything in their mouth. And you think: This kid just put a dirty sock from the laundry basket in his mouth and didn’t seem to mind, and he won’t eat green beans?
I remember mine as not being much interested in sitting down for a meal, except breakfast, but they liked having nibbles of things throughout the day. Particularly things that they could handle on their own, i.e., finger food.
Sudden increase in appetite almost always meant a growth spurt was on the way.
Another issue is that the rapid growth of infancy slows down a bit when the child becomes a toddler. They simply don’t need as much food as they did before. But this is confusing to a parent whose gut reaction is likely to be that of course a two-year-old needs more food than a ten-month-old. So the parent serves a portion that is too large, the child doesn’t finish it, and the cycle begins.
Also, small children may be more sensitive to taste and to texture than adults are. For some kids this makes eating a great adventure - for others, foods with strong flavors or odd textures are overwhelming.
Other than that, I agree with pretty much everything that has been said, especially about this not being something every kid experiences. Neither of my kids have been particularly fussy, and the one who is a bit picky is picky in the opposite way of the stereotype - he doesn’t like pasta, for instance, because it “tastes like nothing”. But tomato sauce with lots of garlic? Bring it on! And he’s been that way since he left the mushy baby food behind.
A related speculation that I’ve heard is that it is to prevent them from eating anything poisonous. The idea is that once children become old enough to become more mobile they become picky eaters because their parent can no longer keep them from eating poisonous things just by not handing them to the baby. The kid who is reluctant to eat a new food is less likely to eat that deadly nightshade he found when you weren’t looking.
I laughed.
We are in the middle of this with our two y/old.
Some thoughts from reading around the subject.
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Children’s taste buds change quite a lot during this period. Parents can get into a routine, so a food the child liked 3 months ago may now taste different to them.
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Digestion is slower… adults tend to eat the same volumes each day, but our daughter will happily eat a huge dinner and then not feel hungry the next morning. If she has a large poo forming she probably feels a bit “full up” internally, so won’t want to shovel yet more food on top.
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As noted, there’s the battle of wills aspect. Last night our daughter refused to eat her tea, so I grabbed a couple of extra spoons and asked her which one she wanted to eat with. For some reason the abilty to express her will by choosing a spoon made her happy to tuck into dinner.
Hi guys,
I think I was wrong with the age ranges in my question. As people upthread pointed out, I’m not quite asking about the toddler stage, when I think if you present them with food they will sort of slowly eat it until full.
I mean more when you first start feeding them solids (whatever age that is). I just seem to remember lots of times watching other people with tiny spoons and mashed up somethings and babies in high chairs just not eating. I like the ideas put forth, especially the idea that that is how they assert independence . . . as even sven said, that is a pretty powerless situation.
Actually, another question for even sven, did you notice the same baby feeding habits in Cameroon? Or can even babies pick up on a scarcity of food and eat anything gladly?
I’m guessing because “A Modest Proposal” never caught on like it should have.
Part of the problem here is that many parents start feeding solids too soon. If a baby’s tongue pushes the food out, then their swallow reflex isn’t yet attuned to solids. Some babies may not be ready for solids until 12 months!
Secondarily…have you tasted jarred baby food? I have, at a horrid baby shower game. Yech. Most babies I’ve worked with who are ready for solids will eat homemade baby food eagerly, yet turn away from the stuff from the store. I really can’t say that I blame them.
And yes, control is an issue even at 9 or 10 months. A 10 month old is smarter than your average dog. He quickly learns that if he’s fussy, it makes Mommy engage with him more, make funny noises and wave her hands around - what fun! And if he’s really good at it, her face turns red! Whee!
Best bet is to keep them on the breast for a full year for nutrition, and make food time exploration and fun. If they don’t eat, it’s not a big deal. If they do eat, it’s because they want to try it, and when they *want *something, it’s gonna happen!
If every meal you’ve ever eaten was liquid, white and always tasted much the same and then suddenly someone started spooning lumps into your mouth of something grainy, in a variety of colours and tasting unlike anything you’ve had before, you might be rather taken aback too.
I think it’s a combination of not being all that hungry, expressing independence, and being easily distracted.
When they’re legitimately hungry, those little kids with the teeny spoons of mashed carrots, will eat everything you can shovel in as fast as you can go back and forth to the bowl.
Recipe?
OK, you’re talking about babies just on solids, which can start at 4 to 6 months. At this stage, babies are just getting the hang of solids, which taste very much different than breast milk or formula.
They’re learning what they like and what they don’t, and you are learning along with them. Preferences can change from meal to meal. They are having to learn how to eat. Babies know how to drink to satisfy their hunger, but the eating comes later.
As a parent, you have to learn along with them on what they will eat and how to get them to eat it.
At that stage of eating first solids, the world is just too much fun to worry about nutrition (for them, that is). They will chew, they will spit, they will rub it on their face, then the plate, then back to the mouth, then roll it around their tongue for some time. They are exploring food. Your kid doesn’t know about starvation (which is a good thing). He knows food will come. Right now he is just too busy exploring this new thing you just gave him.
Oh, and that face he makes like you would if fed cat poo rolled in paint thinner? That doesn’t mean he didn’t like what he just put in his mouth. It is just a fun thing to do with his face at the moment. Feed him the same item again in 5 minutes and he will wolf it down happily.
Don’t even think of it as a battle of wills. Just separate in your mind the task of feeding him from the task of showing him new foods and your life will be a lot easier.
Me too. I was thinking of something not quite as inventive, like, “Because their parents usually want to raise them to adulthood, or at least until they’re teenagers.”