This is hilarious. I hope intentionally.
It’s a cat. The best you can hope for is that it merely tolerates you and the life you provide for it.
The one sure way I’ve found to get my little monsters to behave in the evening and at night is to spend at least half an hour playing as wildly as I can get them to. I usually go for the feather bundle hanging from a stick. It only takes a bit of teasing before the girls start doing flips, high jumps, and occasionally mid-air collisions. The more I wear them out, the better behaved they are.
Some people in prison are happy, in spite of their circumstances. That doesn’t make it okay to imprison innocent people or that those who are unhappy are defective or in need of medication to deal with their environment.
Unfortunately, I can’t think of a good way to solve your cat’s problem. How best to while away the solitary hours when one is thumbless and illiterate?
Maybe a food puzzle toy.
If you have a problem with the OP or anything they’re doing, take it to the Pit. If you want to debate how or what living indoors does to cats, take it to Great Debates.
But stop posting this hijack in this thread, because it’s not much different than threadshitting.
Feather toy, 10 minutes or until he starts panting twice a day. Give him treats or feed him after… i.e. hunt (exercise/play) then kill (food).
If he hasn’t been to the vet in a while, a blood check wouldn’t hurt. He’s just into the age range of possibility for starting with kidney or thyroid issues. Better to rule them out as behavior modification won’t help if he’s got a medical issue as the source. A Feliway plug-in is a good idea, as is dedicated play time a couple times a day. Though cats really do better often in pairs, I get it if that’s really not an option, and he’s been alone without another cat around for so long, I’m not positive it’s your best solution, either.
Any chance of giving him his favorite window back? Or adding any window perches to other windows to make them more appealing? They’re not expensive, and you can take them with you when you move.
The cat is behaving as if it is bored and lonely - literally desperate for companionship. It has nothing to do and no one to do it with, so why would this be considered a radical description of the problem? Without identifying the problem, how can a solution be found? I’m sorry if the suggestion that the solitary lifestyle of a single indoor cat may be inherently unpleasant offends someone, as that is not my intent. The OP obviously loves the cat very much and is trying her best to provide him with what he needs, and has asked for advice, so why would I have a problem with what she is doing with her cat?
A cat is not a human, of course, but we are all the product of evolution. A cat confined to a space with sporadic human companionship and a few windows to look out of has no opportunities to “be a cat” - prey drive is stifled, socialization is not available, etc. Seek ways to create these opportunities for the normal cat lifestyle and the cat may respond. Let the cat “seek” food, using a treat ball. Encourage chasing, with toys and laser pointers. The cat lives in an apartment that allows cats - maybe other cats in the building can visit, and a kitty playgroup can be formed.
All I am trying to say is that the cat’s reaction to its environment does not suggest illness or dysfunction, but seems like a normal response. Not that the OP is a cruel cat abuser, or that nobody should have a cat, or whatever. I hope this clears that up.
A kitty play group? Oh dear God, now I’ve heard everything.
Olive, I don’t know if you cat would do it or not, but I have a friend who trained her cat to go into a tote bag. He loves to ride around in there. It’s like a sling for your feline! 
Okay. Ordered 1 Feliway diffuser and 1 Cat DVD from Amazon. I have to admit I’m a little excited about the cat TV - sounds like it could be relaxing for humans as well. It’s about as close to nature as I will get in the near the future.
He did a little better last night - I actually slept, and he wasn’t even there when I woke up. I’m going the 100% ignore annoying behavior route, but I’m also going to make regular play time a point as well. I think part of it is just all the upheaval lately, my long absence and my husband being gone for so long (he’s not coming back, really, until the 25th.) Right now he’s at the living room window and he’s pretty happy about it.
My good friend and neighbor has 2 cats, and we’ve talked about acclimating them with one another, but he gets really freaked out by them. They were over here once in a crate and he hid under the bed for hours. When my neighbors come over and he smells the cats on them, he gets really nervous.
As far as giving him his window back, I’m not sure how to make that work. I closed off his access to the 2nd bedroom because I got a new plant, a ficus tree, and it’s just a baby right now. I’m trying to turn that room into a meditation/reading room where I can go to escape. He still has the living room, kitchen and bedroom windows so I think he’ll be okay.
Meeting new cats may make him anxious at first, but given time, his curiosity may get the better of him. Cats like to hide to assess a situation and then investigate at their own pace. It sounds like he feels anxious a lot anyway so I wouldn’t worry much about avoiding situations that cause him to hide. Trying to avoid provoking situations can backfire, decreasing the threshhold of acceptable change, and at least if he’s hiding, he can work through his anxiety on his own instead of pestering you and being clingy.
I’ve known of cats that reacted to the introduction of a new cat to the home by hiding for days, only to end up the best of friends.
I think losing access to the window is probably the biggest problem. My animals all get a lot of entertainment out of watching things through the window. If you can set up a cat perch on a window (and better yet, if you can set up a bird feeder outside - cats love watching bird feeders!) then I think he’ll probably be less bored and anxious.
If a real bird feeder is not an option, maybe try looking up videos on youtube for cats and let him watch them. One of my cats goes nuts when I play bird feeder videos like this for him.
And now…pictures of an unhappy cat.
My older cat is chronically anxious & depressed, and I totally understand your frustration. It can be hard to get anything done (mine acts out in other ways that are damaging to the carpet as well… sigh.) My boyfriend got her one of those sticks with a string/feather/bell (someone mentioned it upthread) and tuckering her out with that helps. I also give her Rescue Remedy in her water bowl- you can get it at GNC or some other natural food places. It’s just an herbal anti-anxiety medicine. My vet recommended it and it seems to be helping. It won’t break the bank, either. Worth a try for ten days or so, as it may save you a costly trip to the vet.
How old is Merlin? Our gone-to-us-now boys, Rudy and Manfred, both become very clingy and howl-y in their old age. I remember reading somewhere that the howling may have to do with them losing their hearing and/or eyesight, that they become frightened and disoriented and the howling (loud mewing) is their way of affirming their space or something like that. Not explaining it well but it made a lot of sense to me at the time.
I loves me some kitties but damn they do not age with dignity–howling, puking, peeing. Plus they get so damn skinny, Old cats can be such a physical and psychic burden to their humans.
If I were you, IMHO, I’d look for another vet.
The placebo effect might work for humans in some cases, but with a pet that isn’t even aware of the placebo? I guess it’s maybe possible that the placebo effect still works on the human by giving it to their pet and their relationship benefiting from whatever positive reassurance is derived from that… But yeah, that’s quite a stretch!
Hilarious, by the way.