Why is the bully problem gone in college

Great Debates
41

Wesley Clark - I’ve looked at it myself any number of ways, and to be honest…I really don’t know.

It’s easy to see how it happens high school. Cripes, high school seems like it was designed to be traumatising. No order, no discipline, entire code of conduct meaningless bluster, sociopaths allowed to run wild…all in an enclosed setting where no one can run away. Oh, let’s not mention an entire faculty that doesn’t give a damn about anything, not to mention all the other students who are much too burdened and worried about being targeted themselves to get involved. Did I already mention the complete, total, utter, 100% absolute top-to-bottom lack of ANY CONSEQUENCES FOR ENGAGING IN THE MOST DESPICABLE…

…ahem. Anyway, high school is pretty much total hell wherever you go, and the way it’s designed, this is more or less inevitable. But the instant I went to college, it all ended…completely, permanently, ended. (Okay, there was this one incident with someone who remembered me from high school, but it was there for a moment and done. No biggie.) And for the life of me, I can’t think of a reason.

Maturity? Hah. I’d been force-fed that crap since 4th grade. Let’s get one thing straight…some people never, never, ever grow up. I’ve seen more than enough evidence with my own eyes. And certainly someone who’s remained a total slime up until HS graduation isn’t suddenly going to transform in the time between that and freshman orientation.

Punishments? C’mon, anyone who actually knows the meaning of the word “deterrent” wouldn’t have become a sadistic psychopath who lives only to make others miserable in the first place. Besides, there are plenty of quiet areas on a typical campus to do dirty deeds, and it’s easy to make a break for it before anyone finds out.

Can’t get into college? Unlikely, especially the community and state colleges I went to. Even if they can’t get accepted, there’s nothing preventing them from simply going to the campus to cause mayhem. These aren’t gated communities, you know.

Not seeing the same people all the time? You really think familiarity matters to a sociopath? Nothing stops them. If a juicy target doesn’t show up anymore, they just pick a new one. And they have very long memories.

My advice is to not worry about it and just be glad that the situation does get better.

P.S.: I was in a work situation where there were some unbelievable jerks…but they were all eventually released, so I don’t think that’s really comparable to high school, where there are no repercussions for anything.

42

My college was small enough that the size of the student body can’t have been much of a factor. It was a private school with probably about half the students of your typical high school in a mid-to-large sized city. Almost everyone lived in the dorms too, so we more or less knew each other by sight if not name/reputation. There were the usual interpersonal conflicts and some people complained about there being too much gossipping, but I never saw anything like the kind of bullying that’s so common in elementary/middle/high schools.

I think most bullies need to be fairly confident that they won’t face serious punishment for their actions, and they must also have easy access to their victims. This can occur in colleges, but a number of factors make such circumstances less common. College students have escaped forever from that vicious no-man’s land known as the school bus, where some of the most brutal incidents of my childhood occured. In-class bullying is greatly reduced by the fact that neither professors nor other students are likely to tolerate any disruption of classtime. Bullying in the hallways and around campus is reduced because people have different schedules every day and are always coming from/heading off in different directions. Not just different classrooms in completely different buildings, but the dining hall, the dorms, off-campus…heck, in college it can be hard enough to keep up with friends who try to let you know where they’re likely to be! But at most elementary/middle/high schools, students are confined to the same building for seven or so hours a day. In such a situation, it’s a simple matter to follow and corner or surround your quarry.

I was well into high school before I realized this, but most school bullies don’t put a lot of thought or effort into their bullying. I doubt many stay up late plotting new ways to torment their prey; that’s obvious enough from the mindlessly repetitive nature of so much bullying. They use the same methods and insults over and over again for years. It’s rare for much special effort or creativity to go into the job. There are exceptions (people with personal vendettas, sociopaths, and various other whackjobs), but the majority of school bullying seems to be carried out with little thought by people who wouldn’t bother if “everyone else” weren’t doing it…and if it weren’t so darn easy.

Hazing among certain groups (including the college-sponsored theater club, which should surprise only those who didn’t know many theater majors) was sometimes a problem at my college, as it is at so many others. However, hazing is a special situation where the victims have voluntarily entered a situation where bullying behavior once again becomes easy. They may be tragically unaware of what they’re really in for, but they’re at least initially willing. Aggressors don’t have to go looking for them first. The pledges are in their power, have some degree of trust in them, are ready to endure suffering to show they’re serious about joining the organization, and are unlikely to report abuse.

43

No, it’s not. I went to a prviate, religious high school. Not much bullying, and character mattered. By the simple process of controlled enrollment, those that were in our high school actually wanted to be there to learn. And the regular attendance at mass, prayer before class, and theology courses reminded us of where our values ought to be.

44

Speaking for myself, I loved HS. I enjoyed HS more than I do University in fact. Of course, my school board won an award for “best school board in the world” as chosen by the UN. But I’m not bragging :slight_smile:

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Oh, and in contrast to Walloon’s experience, this was a public school board with absolutely no hint of religion.

46

Hey I actually liked high school. Like PaulFitzroy said, it actually became a lot more fun when I joined a couple of sports teams (track and ice hockey). It wasn’t because bullies saw me as a badass hockey player or anything. It was because I developed friendships with guys on the team.

Sure high school sucks. I felt it was more like an unpleasent job kind of sucks, not a assrape prison kind of sucks.

Actually, I hated college freshman year more than I ever hated high school. But once I had begun to embrace the preppy drunken frat guy lifestyle so it was a lot more fun.

47

Actually, it wasn’t so much that I became a J Crew wearing dickhead that made it fun. It was I had grown beyond the freshman hall mentality which IMHO was the kind of institutionalized BS that promotes bullies and cliques. Basically, you have 20 guys living on a hall who fon’t know anyone else. Immediately, the hall starts to consolidate into little groups. People who fall outside the group or are too independent are vulnurable to bullying. Rivalries and jealousies also develop between groups as some join frats (and become “cool”) and others form future off-campus housing units. By sophomore year, we were living in a smaller living group (an on-campus 4 person unit) that freed us to pursue interests outside of a freshman hall.

48

I think in colleges, they are called fratboys. :cool: