Ha!
I’m doing the audit of all of the health and dental coverages our employees take so we can plan for 2009. I asked my boss if he was going to carry the same level of dental next year.
He said, “I don’t know. What do I have now?”
What, am I your wife??? :rolleyes:
Dear me,
Get off your ass and do your fucking classwork. Yes, the instructor may just be a figment of your imagination and the class itself is as interesting as particle board. And your team mates may as well be particle board silhouettes, but dammit, there’s only three weeks left and you can go on to something else. But only if you pass this class.
Work with me here. The class is online so you can do it any time of the day or night. And no one seems to care what you post so long as you post something. You can bullshit your way through it.
Anyone want 50 bucks to deal with this crap for me?
Projammer, I set my timer for 15 minutes whenever I have some crap job to do. Once those 15 minutes are up, I give myself to stop if I want. But usually I’m in the groove and I work for longer than that. Maybe that might help pare down the course a bit.
I’d happily do it for you, but I’m busy working on my Masters thesis in Procrastination.
I’ll trade you your stunningly dull classwork for some of my incomprehensible, brain, melting, ‘oh god I’ve read this passage nine times now and still don’t fucking understand what’s going on’ classwork.
I’m working on my second chapter on my Procrastination Thesis.
Me too. I’m going to work on it later.
When an old “famous” person dies, someone who hasn’t contributed to the profession they’re known for in many decades, and are at an age where you would expect anybody to die anyway - then don’t say it’s “a great loss”, because it’s not. It’s just life ending.
Sure you can eulogise about their past glories, but don’t pretend that you will “miss them”, or that they “had so much more to give”, or any of that crap.
Death is inevitable. If they haven’t sung any new songs or written any new books in 40 years, then get over it.
Walking around in a daze, with a nasty headache after having convulsions last night. Convulsions. Which I haven’t had for a year. Fuck. Fuck.
This is the pit! I didn’t come here for good advice you ninny! I’m looking for someone with compromised ethical standards to do my work for reasonable compensation.
But thanks anyway…
Now that’s more like it! Whatcha got?
I’m bringing Fundamentals of Business System Development to the table with such classic buzzword bingo favorites as “enterprise-wide analytics technology” , and “information life cycle management”.
If you’ve got something juicy like an advanced mathematics or physics course we’re definately game on.
Oh, hell, I’ll pay you to fly out here to finish a lab experiment for me on Saturday - we’re doing Millikan’s oil-drop experiment, which so far has been three damn hours of “Okay, ready with the stopwatch? Ready…oh, shit, nope, that one’s not gonna work.”
Or you can have my Hegel reading, which full of absolute goddamn nonsense.
Or you can take the GRE for me. Or at least the math sections, which I’m going to catastrophically kill myself on.
I’ve been procrastinating getting another temp job - you guys are making me look like a piker!
Oh, another mini-rant - karma, you bitch, I pick up and throw away nails and screws from parking lots and roads all the time. How come I keep getting nails and screws stuck in my goddamn tires? That’s not fair, dude! Also, why are there so goddamn many nails and screws everywhere? I throw away a couple every week in my travels.
Goddammit! PennDOT can suck my ass!
I tried to go to McDonald’s on my break tonight. To get there, you have to drive about three miles down some industrial road (actually I think it’s called Industrial Rd.) before you come out at a stoplight and go a couple blocks to McDonald’s.
Well, they decided to close the fucking road off a block from the stop light, effectively making the industrial road a goddamn three-mile dead end, and didn’t put any signs up anywhere else on the road! I wasted my gas and my whole fucking break and now I have nothing to eat! FUCK!
I’m supposed to have received a dvd of Farewell to the World that was ordered 22 August, and USPS says it was delivered but I do not have it. I have no idea where the fuck it is and the neighbors say they haven’t seen it.
I also hate numb cunts that try to sneak into turns when I am using the crosswalk, and it’s my turn.
^^^ best [del]rant[/del]grocery list in the thread ^^^
:smack: this is what i get for having sdmb in two seperate windows :smack:
Aw, nice edit. Now I’m the one who looks crazy! 
Dear cereal makers,
Do ya think you can actually make a plastic container for your cereal that doesn’t rip to shreds when I open it? How much glue do you use to seal it? Is it the same industrial glue that they use to seal radioactive waste? Why not have a zip lock thingy on it? Do you really expect the cereal to stay fresh in your ripped up container for more than 3 days? :mad: And no, I’m not going to transfer cereal to another container. I paid for the plastic and paper box and dammit I’m going to use it!
muppet, are you expecting your shrink to understand that there may be a link between “something that occasionally gets solved by having pills” and “a chemical problem”?
:smack:
These people I’m trying to help are pissing me right off. I drive for half an hour across town through pissy traffic every second Tuesday for my drop-in volunteer group, and half the time (or more) no one bothers to show up. They all act like they think it’s a good thing when they do show up, but if nobody wants to buy what I’m selling, I have better things to do on my Tuesday evenings than wait around for people who can’t be bothered to try to help themselves. Jerks.