We encountered a real, live cliché yesterday - we took Jim’s parents out for their 40th wedding anniversary to a very nice restaurant. We paid $180 for our dinners and theirs, and came home and had a sandwich because we were still so hungry (even after dessert). There’s got to be a happy medium between too much food and not enough. Most of the dinners had potatoes included with them - about a quarter of a small potato. I don’t know about youse guys, but I need a little more potato than that with my dinner, and I’m not a real big eater.
(bolding mine).
This is my mini-rant. I’ve complained about people speaking this way before, but I’ve never actually seen it in print, until now.
The bolded part is repetitive and redundant and unnecessary (and we are all better off without it ;)).
“The trouble is that he caught me …” That’s all you need to say. Fewer keystrokes, faster, and clearer. It’s a win-win for everyone!
Ta,
Roddy
I have to congratulate myself on falling off the eBay wagon. After many months of not bidding on anything, here I am once again bidding money I shouldn’t spend, on something I don’t need, which will only amuse me mildly for about 10 minutes when (if) I receive it. Here I am, as the minutes tick down, clicking Refresh to make sure I’m still the high bidder, while hoping that someone outbids me, and knowing that if I am outbid, my response will be “Outbid ME, you bastard?! Take THAT!” and upping my bid.
I had a bit of a panic yesterday; I went online to verify my Ameriprise accounts balances and saw that my brokerage account showed a negative cash amount caused by the purchase Friday of over $4000 in government reserve funds, about which I could find no description on the website. I shot off a frantic email to my advisor asking for an explanation, mentioning that one of my reasons for concern was that I had several bills (including my mortgage) that were supposed to be paid out of this cash account. I got a call back today and found out it was a result of the Lehman bankruptcy; the money market account in which those funds were held had been managed by Lehman, which meant (assuming I’m remembering this correctly) that the balance as of September fifteenth had been transferred to a holding account pending resolution of certain issues.
However, I was assured that until this happened Ameriprise was going to cover any withdrawals from the account up to the balace as of September 15th (which is why it had a negative balance, as there had been several bills paid from it at the end of last week), and any deposits would be properly credited to it. They were taking action to have the funds withdrawn on Friday transferred back to my account ASAP.
Still, I could have done without the 24 hours of panic.
All you people who want me to edit things for you and keep telling me that it’s a rush job, that’s FINE. So why the hell do I not have the copy you want edited yet, four hours later?
Come on, people, give me some work to do. I’m trying to avoid the inevitable point when someone asks the question, “Why are we paying Chef Troy all this money when he hardly does any work all day?”
Believe me, if I had work to do I’d be doing it instead of surfing the Dope. Well, at least half of every hour.
Today I was on the bus when the driver pulled up to a stop where there was a girl waiting, holding a kitten. Said kitten had no collar, no harness, no carry case, nothing, she was just holding it in her hands. The following convo took place:
Bus Driver: You can’t bring a cat on here like that.
Girl: Yes I can! I have a bus pass, you have to let me on.
BD: The cat needs to be in a carry case.
Girl: No, he’s fine, he’ll just sit on my lap!
BD: It’s not allowed - what if he gets away from you?
Girl: But I just got him - how the hell am I supposed to get him home?
BD: You should have looked it up on the website - you need an approved carry case. But…since there’s only a couple people on the bus I’ll let you on this once. Make sure you get a case for him!
Girl stomps onto the bus, flashes her bus pass.
Bus Driver: I just did you a favour, you could say thank you.
Girl: Why don’t you go fuck yourself?
Seriously, WTF? Someone is nice to you, you repay them that way? What the hell were you thinking, you stupid bitchy little twat, that you thought “hey, I’ll get a kitten”, but didn’t think AT ALL about getting it home? You really think just holding on to a cat is a good way to transport it? I’m sure you’re going to be a real good pet owner.
Also, just what kind of misanthropic, entitled excuse for a human being do you have to be to be that much an asshat when it’s a beautiful, sunny fall day and you just got a new kitten!?
Fucking English Class. Fucking globalization essay. FUCKING PROCRASTINATION!
That’s lovely. Way to shit on someone else’s day, so they can pay it forward. No wonder we’re all so cranky.
I know! Not even just the bus driver (who was just doing his job by telling her she couldn’t just hold the cat), but me as well! It just made me sad about humanity - why can’t people just be nice to each other? Or at least civil.
In a perfect world, that cat would scratch toxoplasmosis into her arm.
I like to believe that this is the perfect world.
Having an optical migraine right this minute. I can’t see dick, and no one’s around to help me out. If it gets any worse, I’m going to have to start asking callers to call back because I’m temporarily blind and can’t read their reports. Took five minutes to type this.
Dear employer:
As you may be aware, all of our offices are in the Northern Hemisphere. As such, we receive less and less energy from the sun each day at this time of year. In turn, we should expect daily temperatures to trend lower and lower… this will continue until sometime after the winter solstace in December. Today, for example, the temperature is uncomfortably low.
Please consider activating the heating system that is already conveniently located inside my building. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Borborygmi
Dear [del]Dumb Cunt[/del] Fellow Giant customer,
The man pushing the carts back to the store is doing the job you made him do – namely rounding up the carts that fellow customers such as yourself don’t bother to put in the conveniently-located corrals. So it really isn’t necessary for you to scowl at him when he dares to push those carts near your car as you blindly pull out of your parking space.
Sincerely,
MsRobyn
Dear singing coworker,
I can appreciate that you’re listening to a particularly awesome piece of music through your headphones, and that you’re so blown away by its spectacular amazingness that you can’t help breaking into snippets of song. I usually have moment like this in the shower, or when I’m testing out
See, the thing is, the whole point of the headphones is so that we won’t be distracted by the music you’re listening to. And right now, I think I’d prefer your music to the random off-key humming I’m subjected to in its stead.
Shut. UP.
Please.
Oh, and same goes for you Mr. Four-Hour-Long Conference Call. Get a headset.
I pit System Restore.
Times I’ve used System Restore to fix a problem: 1.
Times I’ve had to kill a virus which was hiding in the System Restore backups: 3.
I just made a cup of tea with two tea bags in it.
And burned my tongue on it.
This is not so much a Pit as a whine…
My trainer was really brutal to me at my workout Wednesday. I was sore in new and interesting places. Today is Friday and I have to see him again in an hour and a half.
I’m still sore!
Whaaaaaaaaaaa!
limps off to get ready to go to the gym
Excellent post/user name combination. Applause.
The first part is a self-pitting.
I had every intention of nursing a drink or two for a couple of hours then heading home.
I don’t know how much I actually drank in the 5.5 hours that I was out with the girls. Had a blast (for the most part), but now I’m paying for it. However, lemsip cold and flu remedy (with paracetemol) seems to do wonders for a hangover. Who knew?
The second part is aimed at the drunk welsh guys who crashed our table. Seriously dudes. Thanks a lot for harshing my buzz and freaking me the fuck out to the point where I felt the need to bolt and head home. I was having a great time with my girls, then you came over and kept throwing your arm around me and yelling at the top of your lungs and just being really, really, really uber-close on me. PERSONAL SPACE BIZNATCH! No touchy!
I work with a volunteer group for people with anxiety disorders that I really believe in; I think they are an invaluable resource and a very good idea. The group, however, has no leader. The group is hanging on by a thread, one inch away from dissolving; it would have dissolved a year or two ago if not for me. I could be the leader, but I don’t want to be. I want to help with the group, not take on the thankless task of running it. I don’t blame everyone else for not wanting it, either, but the group is going nowhere fast with no leadership. Our de facto leader is useless; she does nothing but show up for meetings (which is something, but there’s a whooole lot more to group leadership than that). I don’t want this, but somehow keeping this group alive has become my responsibility. Is this how everyone ends up in positions of leadership? They just do what needs doing? It sucks.