Reading CNN.com today, I brush up on international news. Justice Breyer addressed the American Bar Association. Bush talks about Iran’s nuclear news. Bill O’Reilly says some stuff about Peter Jennings.
And the Runaway Bride mows an f-ing lawn as part of her community service.
“But her mower kept sputtering out, prompting her to repeatedly yank on the pull cord to get it started again. After the eighth time, she let out a huge sigh.” Omigod. That poor girl is being forced to do manual labor for faking her own abduction and leading the country on a wild goosechase fretting for her very life.
Poor pretty little bug-eyed thing.
Remind me again. Why is this wasting bandwidth on CNN.com? Must be a slow news week.
-foxy
Get this viewer some BBC! Quick!
It is a slow news week. Today’s lead story is about a boy who strangulated himself for kicks. It’s also August, the shuttle has landed, and Congress is recessed.
That said, the Wilbanks story isn’t about anything current; she pulled her little stunt last spring. But it is now a human-interest story. She fucked up, and now this spoiled rich girl now has to pick up garbage and mow lawns to make up for that fuck-up.
Robin
Yeah, we’re in the doldrums. After September 1 we’ll get some meat on the bones.
Here’s a slow news story from this side of the pond :- Man in gorse bush
There will always be an England.
Pah! In America we’d have had three helicopter news crews covering the rescue live, with hysterical commentators extolling the “miracle” of the man’s rescue from the villainous/relentless grip of the gigantic gorse bush!
A pretty white girl isn’t having everything go perfectly! Of course it’s national news, silly!
Isn’t just about any day a slow news day when you have to have content 24 hours a day?
Fox had a “News Alert!” yesterday because something or other was going to happen two months from now, and they had to make sure everyone paid attention to the announcement. sheesh.
I don’t know what’s supposed to be newsworthy.
The other day when Jennings died, Brian Williams on NBC was telling an anecdote that basically went like this:
Peter Jennings always understood what was important news. Just today, on one of the 24 hour news stations, they were talking about Peter Jenning’s death and cut away to footage of an overturned truck that was on fire. (pause) We’ll miss you, Peter.
I was thinking, “well damn, dude. You just gave us 20 minutes on a freakin’ reporter. Not even a guy who actually made the news.”
Gimme some overturned truck.
It could be worse. Last week, we had 7 driveby shootings and a plane crash. 
Emphasis on story.
For better or worse, humans are wired with a narrative bias. We tell each other stories, little narratives that encapsulate our view of the world in some way or other. Some of them are jokes. Some of them are religions. Part of me is convinced that Clinton won the '92 election because he had the best story (the whole “man from Hope” deal), and that Bush has won twice because he’s a better storyteller than his opponent. We who know about science understand that data are better than an anecdote, but when appealing to and attempting to persuade the public, the anecdote will win every time. It seems ridiculous that hundreds of people will spend years and tens of millions of dollars to produce a piece of media that can be consumed in two hours, called a “movie,” but further tens of millions of people are so hungry for stories that this effort is usually cost-effective. This cognitive bias pervades our experience to a degree we aren’t really consciously aware of; when you and a friend see somebody acting strangely, you are apt to say to one another, “What’s his story?”
And, of course, the capsulized descriptions of events presented by news organs, whether broadcast or print, are called “stories.” They have beginnings, middles, and ends. They have casts of characters, and, usually, moral lessons. The only prerequisite for an occurrence or sequence of occurrences to catch on with the public is that it meets these requirements. Complicated events, like the savings-and-loan scandal a few years ago, don’t capture the public’s attention, because it’s difficult to present in a narrative format. The runaway bride, on the other hand, is a perfectly tailor-made Story. All we’re seeing right now is the denouement. And this is why the Missing Aruba Teenager thing keeps dragging on, because the Story does not yet have an Ending, and people need their stories to have endings.
Really, it’s as simple as that.
This, of course, should be “opponents.”
Today’s Memphis Commercial Appeal had a picture of Runaway Bride doing manual labor on the front page and about 10" of copy of page 2. Slow news day or not, how can they possibly think anyone gives a shit about this woman anymore? I believe that 100% of their readers would’ve preferred to see a picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head.
The lead story, however, was this. (registration required)
I’m not saying I approve, mind you; I’m just saying I understand.
I’m disappointed (but hardly surprised) that this event hasn’t gotten more media attention. It’s got all the ingredients – a white woman, an extreme stunt, a son who was in Iraq, and even the possibility of an arrest. Ratings gold! 
The Runaway Bride/lawnmower story was actually printed in *The Sydney Morning Herald * today in the World News section. It’s international news, not just national :rolleyes: .
At least you got to go to her weeding.