I’m not the only one who remembers when Glamour was, well, not a complete waste of paper.
Anyone remember when they used to print fiction in women’s magazines? It wasn’t always good fiction, but it at least had literary pretensions.
I always wondered, still do, where the models in the magazines worked in the “business” articles (“How to wow your boss!” “How to handle your co-worker!” “Sleep your way up the corporate ladder in just 2 weeks!”) I’ve never seen anyone show up at work in a mini-skirt with sequins, and a leopard print unbuttoned blouse. But there they were, every issue. On top of a desk, with stacks of paper behind them.
I’m not sure if Cosmopolitan in particular has articles such as these, but I always roll my eyes and groan whenever I see something like “A Day in the Life of his Penis”. I don’t need to spend a minute in the life of his penis, let alone an entire day, thank you very much.
Aw, you guys have no sense of humor. A pal of mine used Cosmo advice to make her party shine…she cut out the “Agony” advice column from a number of Cosmos, opened about four bottles of good wine, and made us take turns reading the questions and answers out loud. I think a couple of us peed our pants laughing.
My favorite one of those ever was from one woman who had woken up one night, and gone downstairs to find her husband and brother having sex. She decided not to say or do anything, and snuck back upstairs to bed. Apparently she was distraught, and couldn’t figure out how to handle the situation the next time her brother visited.
When reading it, I kept thinking “of all the possible reactions, yours was to write to Cosmo?”
Oh, I’m a fan of the agony columns, too. I read them to a male friend of mine once, and his head pretty much exploded. Well, now he knows how some women behave, and I do believe that knowledge strengthened his marriage, if that’s possible.
A friend of mine and I also used to laugh at their annual horoscope issue, as well.
There’s a great quote in a book I have somewhere from Kurt Vonnegut, who used to write short stories for Cosmo among others. He says it “now survives as a harrowingly explicit sex manual,” which I think about sums it up…
So that’s why “Kilgore Trout”'s short fiction was published in porno mags.
Maxim– ugh. Another rag whose publishers have accumulated three inches of smoked salmon around their asses on the strength of insulting the intelligence of their target market.
Hey, remember, they all play on people’s insecurities. In the commercial publishing world NOTHING plays better. And it’s not just Cosmo and Maxim. Playboy does it (Not getting girls? That’s because you’re doing what we said was cool LAST month, sucker. But this issue and you’ll find out what’s cool THIS month.), Ladies Home Journal does it (You’re house isn’t perfect? You’re a failure as a woman.), God alone knows Martha Stewart Living does it (see above and multiply), etc…
None of this would work if humans weren’t the insecure, needy group of weasels we are. Sad, isn’t it?
A better challenge would be to find those consumer magazines that don’t play off such things. National Geographic, maybe? I’m sure there are others.
Oh, and just to keep things moving here’s a list of the ‘inside this issue’ from Cosmo’s website:
“7 Sex Secrets Every Girl Should Know”
'Love, Sex and Life Predictions to Last You All Year Long"
“This Celeb Couples Act Lovey-Dovey But Their Body Language Reveals the Rocky Truth”
“Devious Ways Man-Stealers Seduce Good Guys”
Interesting sidenote: Nora Ephron’s Wallflower at the Orgy contains a rather enlightening interview with Helen Gurley Brown and reasons why she changed Cosmo’s slant to…well, a slut-fest.
Gaining self-esteem, especially around men, was one of HGB’s biggest “personal” issues, among other things…
I will buy Cosmo when I want a bit of mindless reading, like on a plane or on the beach or something. I snerk at every page.
I am quite fond of their “10 hot new sexual postitions” articles that come around once or twice a year. Either they are so complicated it would take a year of contortionist training and 6 spotters to acomplish or so mundane it’s not worth mentioning. (look here it says if I turn my head to the right and point my left toe your orgasmic power will increase tenfold)
It has always been my belief that the whole damn thing is written by and targeted at woman haters.
I despise the way they prey on female insecurities and tell us that we are ugly and disgusting and unworthy of love because we wear over a size 8. According to their standards I should be shot at daybreak cause I wear an 18.
Most guys don’t give a rats ass about a woman’s outfit (as long as she looks ok in it), most certainly not about her handbag (unless it’s…strange and threatening). My wife can’t seem to figure out that I don’t care whether she cuts her hair to a certain length or dyes it a specific color. (I keep telling her to go for the green hair, but she thinks I’m joking!)
“One way to catch a Man”; Stop reading Cosmo for ideas on what men want.
As long as the hair does not constantly change color, I do not care (much) what color it is.
Ladies, it’s the same as us bringing home flowers, if it is valentines day it is expected, if it is a surprise you love it, a little surprise sex WILL GET YOU THE WORLD, try it and see.
To quote the Reverend Billy C. Wirtz “men are like kitchen tile, if you lay 'em right the first time, you can walk on 'em forever”.
I remember from reading in either Writer’s Digest or Jim Romenesko’s media site complaints from the free-lancers who’ve had their articles “juiced up” by the Cosmo editors (read, made-up shit thrown in), including fake ancedotes.
My favorite was when they ran an article about a woman getting some sort of liposuction around her tummy. After going on and on about how diet and exercise didn’t fix it and how she just couldn’t go on this way, they revealed that she was…a size 6. Before. Which only reinforces the general message that apparently, I’m a fat load because I wear size eight jeans. Excuse me!
All I can say in regards to this thread (and I have said so in other situations) is that looking back on my early teen years, my Mom’s Cosmos screwed up my perceptions and expectations of what awaited me far more than my Dad’s Playboys did. I mean, really, at least PB gave you the impression that before the Playmate even looked at me I’d have to work my butt off to get enough money to buy the swinging bachelor pad with fully stocked wet bar and hi-fi, become a connoisseur of fine wines, smokes, jazz and cars, and get some hip threads. (*) While the Cosmo Girl could just one day ambush me clad in only cling-wrap and apply any of the “20 techniques to steal your boss from his wife”…
(*which even if you failed to get the Playmate, at least you were living well)
The Cosmo Confessions page is just plain scary. The evil, vindictive, cruel things that these women do! The stories are told in a bragging, gleeful tone about how they cheated on their unsuspecting husbands/boyfreinds, or utterly ruined someone’s life.
Well, now he knows how some women behave, and I do believe that knowledge strengthened his marriage, if that’s possible.