People who believe in Santa are rarely smug.
[QUOTE=Chefguy]
People who believe in Santa are rarely smug.
[/QUOTE]
Except on Christmas morning after they’ve opened their gifts and found that they’ve gotten exactly what they’ve wanted.
[QUOTE=Siam Sam]
Are we talking single combat? Because I think Santa could kick Jesus’ wimpy ass and win by a knock-out every time.
[/QUOTE]
I can just see that :
“It’s MY holiday now, you skinny bastard !”
- POW *
If Christians don’t like Santa Clause then they should have stolen someone elses holiday.
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
The ones who did the nailing weren’t, but his followers think him dying on the cross was the best thing to ever happen to them.
[/QUOTE]
Except you then get the weird ones who get all angry about Jews being “Christ-killers” - but that was a good thing, right? Another point for Santa I guess.
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
When you go to see Santa (at the “north pole” at the mall), he asks all about you.
When you go to see Jesus(in any church), the talk is all about Jesus.
Given this, who is the better host?
[/QUOTE]
Jesus’ host is thin, hard, and dry.
[QUOTE=Der Trihs]
I can just see that :
“It’s MY holiday now, you skinny bastard !”
- POW *
[/QUOTE]
It’s been done, and the result was a comedy empire.
But what would Brian Boitano do?
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]
Santa fills your stockings with goodies… JESUS supplies all your needs.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe. But, Jesus really makes you work for it. He makes you pray and believe and go to church and there’s still no guarantee of getting your PS3. All you have to do is write a note to Santa and he’s got you covered.
Santa rocks.
Santa lives to give toys to children and never lays on a guilt trip.
Jesus died for your sins and he just never shuts the hell up about it.
Santa gives.
Jesus saves.
Santa drives a cool sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.
Jesus rides an ass.
Santa makes a distinction between children who have been naughty or nice.
Jesus thinks you’re all a filthy bunch of sinners. Repent!
Santa leaves presents under your tree.
Jesus just hangs around on it.
Santa speaks every language.
Jesus speaks Aramaic. I mean, who speaks Aramaic anymore?
[QUOTE=DanBlather]
Jesus’ host is thin, hard, and dry.
[/QUOTE]
You win.
We know when Santa’s coming back.
Christmas carols about Santa describe him making toys and giving to the children of the world.
Christmas carols about Jesus describe him…being born. Fascinating.
Santa has defeated an evil wizard, conquered the martians, and assisted in saving Narnia.
What kind of cool adventures did Jesus have?
When Santa got into trouble, he was helped out by the most powerful force in the Universe.
No one helped out Jesus in his greatest moment of need.
I think Jesus is better than Santa cuz he looks like a rock star… skinny, long hair and all…
Loose the beard and hair, then Santa would look like homer simpson.
But Santa is more influential, I think. There are many Santa impostors, but not that many Jesus impostors…
I’d like to see Santa vs Elvis… vs Jesus too… that would be interesting.
Santa: chocolate, in His shape, wrapped in foil.
Jesus: wafers, normally circular, taken with cheap wine, eaten in His name.
Santa’s helpers never fight in his house, with Jesus, it’s apparently tradition.
>Santa: chocolate, in His shape, wrapped in foil.
Jesus: wafers, normally circular, taken with cheap wine, eaten in His name.
You can get chocolate crosses, around Easter. While the ones I get don’t have a Jesus already on them, it’s pretty easy to carve Him on, in shallow relief. And guess what? It’s still easiest to start eating by biting the head off!
Jesus’ cookies = bland, white, tasteless
Santa’s cookies = brown, crunchy goodness covered with sprinkles.
Jesus cookies = death! :eek:
Santa cookies = Christmas! 
If you stop believing in Santa, nobody cares.
There’s no such thing as the “anti-Santa”.
Nobody claims that their version of Santa is better than your version of Santa.
Nobody kills in Santa’s name.