All Jesus gives you is a little sip of wine.
Santa lets you knock back all the eggnog and glogg you can drink.
I don’t know. There’s plenty of guys running around acting like they think they’re Jesus. Or at least they’re saying “Jesus told me to tell you guys I was in charge until he gets back.”
Plus Santa often brings me a nice bottle of a favourite tipple. 
Plus the Jesus impostors tend to get you killed, like Charles Manson and Jim Jones.
Nah. If you give me beer and cookies I’ll never leave.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies… JESUS supplies all your needs.
I thought that was Walmart or Amway?
You have to wait in line to see Santa… JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, … nope nuttin, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, … oh shit!
Santa doesn’t know your name, all he can say is “Hi little boy or girl, what’s your name?”… JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Jesus, my own personal stalker?
CMC +fnord!
Well Jesus did know a neat bartending trick or two…
OTOH, Santa can drink millions of glasses of eggnog etc without ill effect.