Why JRR Tolkien Is One of those Idiots Cashing in on 9/11 for Money....

I got linked to this from a thread on Fathom, and I cannot believe that anybody actually started this petition, but:

read this

Note that the disclaimer was posted by the Petitions Online group after the original petition. Be sure to read some of the comments, to which this is (hopefully) a link.

This world is a scary place. The good news is that whoever started the petition has obviously lost interest. Sometimes short attention spans can work to our advantage.

From the petition:
“The title is clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center.”

I guess Tolkien was like Nostradamus, predicting 9/11 in the title of his book like 50 years before the event.

Polycarp I agree with you 100%. This is the stuff that urban legends are made of.

Two minor quibbles. 1. The title to your thread makes it sound like you actually agree me the morons who started the petition. (If made me click it, as I could not believe that you would have fallen for such a thing, which of course you did not). 2. I think this may have been pitted already (but I may be wrong, and it may be well worth 2 “pittings” for stupidity alone). 3. Hi Opal.


typo patrol: (a) in #1, me = with; and (b) in #1 (If = (it .

Sorry, long day. . . .



Human stupidity never ceases to amaze me.

Oog. Lest I be horribly misunderstood, let me clarify:
The stupidity of this petition is what amazes me.

I particularly enjoyed some of the Signer :slight_smile:


  1. Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS!


  1. Dartollen: You cherry-picking arse-banditing fudge-packing shit-stabbing pooh-poking rectal-raiding meat-injecting anal-gremlin.


  1. Eric: Responding to 3393. Just what is a “homersexual”?


  1. greyskull: at least one of those olson twins should be exterminated. i mean, how dare they be twins!!! like duh!!! that is soooo offensive!!!

To bad his petition has been suspended. I would have signed

4000 Osip: in regards to 3483 “doh!”

I’ve heard of people saying that Jane Austen plagarized-because Emma was so similiar to Clueless.


Psst-morons-it’s the other way around!

Sadly, that doesn’t surprise me at all. I knew it would be coming. Amazing, isn’t it, that Tolkien had the gall to mock our loss 30 years before the structures were even built? He and his minions must have had something to do with it. He conspired to have the towers built, then destroy them as a publicity stunt to generate book sales!!! The bastard!

And even worse, is that Polycarp fell for it! :wink: I thought the thread was going to be serious until I saw who posted the thread: one of the few posters even more Tolkien-obsessed than I am. hahahahaha

Ummm . . .

Having been around geeks, fen, and other unsavory types all my life . . .

And having been online for the better part of two decades now . . .

And even though I like you all a lot . . .
I believe that y’all are the ones who have been had. I am willing to bet heavily that the petition is a hoax, a pure troll in the tradition of some of the best. And damn if’n it didn’t get a reaction, huh?

Some of my favorites:

And I suppose it’s just a “coincidence” that the third book is named “Return of the King” and that the “king’s return” was made possible by the fall of the “two towers?” I suppose it’s also a “coincidence” that the “return of the king” to Afghanistan was made possible by the fall of “two towers?”

You people are so naive.

Here are some good ones:
3581. Mikey Listen up you fucks, whoever is stupid enough to think the name should be changed can eat my shit, then shit out their shit, then eat their shit thats made out of their shit and my shit. \m/

  1. Joey Michaels I think a good alternate title would be “Saruman’s Axis of Evil”

  2. Sean Curtin Whoever this Tolkein guy is, he’s an insensitive ashole if he’s making a movie with a title like that. I’ll bet he’s not even American!! What gives him the right!!!

  3. sympathetic uk Tolkien should be exumed, and buried again

  4. Vi Scid I agree, the director Mr. Tolkien should immediately change the name for the respect of the people lost in the empire state building crash, the families of mr Trump will be hurt when they see this movie, making it would be wrong!

  5. Osama Who the hell cares about you americans? Everyone hates you. Die all. 11/9 was the best thing ever happened to the world. DIE!!!

  6. Janet Paige My birthday was on September 11th, but I have applied to the U.S. Census Bureau to have it changed to July 4th.

From the petitioner himself:

Wow. I mean, holy crap, this guy just shrugs off a beat down with a clue-by-four like it was nothing.

I’m with andros, I think it’s an old-fashioned troll. Quite a successful one too, I have to admire it.

waterj2 – You don’t get it. He doesn’t know that LOTR is a book!

From the petition:


Mr. Klerck thinks that that Jackson is to Lord of the Rings as Lucas is to Star Wars!

BTW, what if it isn’t the petioner? Anyone could use that name to sign the petition, couldn’t they? Maybe someone’s setting Mr. Klerck up for an e-mail blizzard.

I understand that the guy is ignorant of LOTR, but if he made it through 3500 responses before posting that one, you’d think he might have figured it out.

Of course, he just might be a troll. Really, the whole thing is bizarre and surreal in its utter idiocy on so many levels.

I remember I saw that petition months ago, and tried to sign “You people are so fucking stupid” in it. Didn’t go through, unfortunately.

However, upon re-reading it, I am relieved to note that only about a third of the signers actually agree with the petition starter.

A while back, there was a Cafe Society thread concerning the mystery of Tom Bombadillo’s true identity. Now, it is clear.

Tom is Osama Bin Laden.

I qoute from my Balantine edition of Fellowship-

“Hey hol derry dol, kill Them all for Allah!
Then they’ll all burn in Hell for the pork they swallowed.
Oh ring ding a dell, ring ding a dillo!
I’ll hide in cave with my fluffy pillow!”

Thus Tom is Osama Bin Laden. The Fellowship are Al Quida operatives. The Nazgul are CIA/Massad agents. And Gollum, of course, is Lindh