Why make toaster settings that burn toast?

This is a subject that has been covered by Billy Connolly in his standup routine, but I’d still like an answer.

Got a lovely new toaster yesterday. Bought some bagels. Put bagels in toaster, with toaster on heat setting 2 (out of a maximum of six). Went out of the room, and when I came back in, the machine had produced two blackened, charcoaled bagels.

I don’t blame the new toaster, since every single toaster I’ve ever owned has had the same problem: the lower end of the heat scale is fine, but the upper end is always way, way too high, even for frozen bread. Anyone have a clue why?

Those damn Toaster Strudels take 3 cycles on maximum to get hot in the middle. Bastards.

Frozen bread products take longer to heat than fresh; white bread takes longer than rye; thick slices take longer than thin. The manufacturers can never anticipate precisely what you are going to expect your toaster to cook.

Calibrating the machine very precisely at design time is more involved and costly (in terms of specifying the components etc) than giving it a range of adjustment that exceeds requirements.

Have you ever turned the volume on your stereo up to full?

reasonable requirements, that is; if you are attempting to smelt iron in the thing, then you have to expect to press the lever more than once IMO.

I actually prefer burnt toast, so I’m glad it’s easy to make. But if I’m making toast for the family, I put bread in and put it on level 2. For the next two slices, I can wait till the toaster cools down, or put it on level 4. For the next two, I have to put it on level 6. Toasters work on a simple thermostat type gadget. When the inside hits a certain temp, it shuts off. If you turn it on right away, it shuts off again almost immediately, so you have to crank it up higher so the “thermostat” will not turn off before you have toast. The super high settings are for multiple pieces of toast, not initial toasting. If all toasters were set to the maximum that is needed for an average toast, making toast for the family would take an hour.

you have been pleased to know that some boffins have invented an optical scanner that looks at the toast as it is being cooked. You never need have burnt toast ever again. Isn’t science wonderful.

(it was was on some BBC1 inventing program a month or two back, may be some UK doper can jog my memory)

My new toaster could happily smelt iron.

But it does have a handy rack for the top to heat croissants up - just in time to give to the fire brigade when they come to put out the house fire.

For people like **Turbo Dog[\b] and my grandmother, who preferred a coating of charcoal on her toast. Seriously, she didn’t think it was done until smoke started coming out of the toaster, whereupon she would retrieve it, butter the blackened surface and happily eat it.

Maybe you’re just spending enough on your toaster.

Maybe you’re just spending enough on your toaster.