Hard to top the Sardinians—unless it wriggles, I think we’re safe.
I sometimes wonder if it’s a form of conspicuous consumption. A lot of these alternative diets are either inconvenient, more expensive, or both. Look at me! I have refined gastronomical needs, so I can’t eat the simple foods the proles eat. Bring me my organic, gluten free rice crackers and my artisanal goji berry salsa.
I remember there was a huge oat bran fad in the 80s, and my parents were buying anything and everything with oat bran in it. Cereal, bread, lots of muffins. And I discovered that my system doesn’t deal well with too much of it, it comes out rather explosively in the bathroom.
So my point is, there is nothing silent about it! 
I recall a discussion w/ a young person who was high up in management with a chain of coffee shops. She was all excited over some new sandwich or something. I said something like, “Why don’t they just sell bananas?” Her response was, “How much do you think we can mark up a banana?”
I think they truly wanted to sell high quality healthy food. But low cost nutrition/fuel could be had so much more cheaply.
To specifically answer the question in the OP: this. As I’m sure I’ve said a few times before, I read this in Diet for a New America (1987) and can’t ever forget it. I would no more drink a glass of milk than a glass of motor oil – it’s a really visceral revulsion.
Of course, where cheese, cream, ice cream, sour cream, butter etc. are concerned, somehow I do manage to suppress that revulsion. Completely.
My daughter is also lacrosse intolerant. We give the cats a bit of lactaid as a treat. The vet approves. (Especially for our anorexic cat.)
Outstanding autocorrect error.
Ten dollars?
That’s a dollar for the banana, 50 cents for the duct tape, and $6,199,998.50 to know how to position them/it. Both on the wall, and in the marketplace. 
I duct-taped a rutabaga to the wall and listed it on Facebook Marketplace for just $5 million. A steal, really—given the emotional depth and raw tuber energy. But, I got no bites. That only goes to show you—folks don’t like vegetables.
I have cataract surgery in two days and they said NO diary before. What am I supposed to put on my cereal?
Iced Tea.
Vanilla almond milk is freaking amazing with cereal. I mean, it’s practically like drinking a milkshake anyway, so with a cereal it’s insanely good. It’s also full of sugar and extremely unhealthy but if you want something delicious, go for it. And it’s not dairy.
Bacon and eggs and toast and jam and butter and fried potatoes. Goes great with cereal. As long as you pick out the useless cereal and eat the good stuff. 
That’s what I decided on too.
Beer, or so my dad told me from his Navy days.
Bourbon.
Elmer’s Glue—just like the pros use. Sure, the taste is meh, but your cereal will look like it belongs on the cover of Breakfast Vogue.
We studiously avoid the vanilla flavored stuff, and go for the lowest calorie regular stuff. I guess if you are used to whole milk, that wouldn’t satisfy.