Here’s another example: The Classic Column “What Physically Happens to Someone in the Electric Chair?” (Sorry, AW! For some reason, I can’t copy the link!)
The final lines address the petitioner’s fervent hope that he be invited to an execution featuring Old Sparky.
Original and Book version: “Persons who are assholes, such as yourself, are not permitted to participate.”
Archive version: “Garden variety voyeurs, such as yourself, are not permitted to participate.”
Much less punch. Have Cecil’s views on capital punishment and its fans been modified, or does the Reader disdain the A-word?
Second, okay Cecil, there’s THREE examples for you. Again, nothing alleged. Just cold hard facts.
Didn’t you think that in 27 years the TM’s would learn something? DIdn’t you think you taught (At least some of us) something?
So, with these three examples, and I’m sure there’s dozens more, could you please tell us WHY these articles have been changed? And it really IS a chage to the feel of the article, not just the size or shape of it.
Have you gone soft? Do you guys really think a softer Cecil is better than what’s made him famous for 27 years?
I am just so curious as to the WHY.
Any chance you’re going to quench this thirst for insight, Unca Cecil?
Please please please tell me where I’m kissing Unca Cecil’s ass?
I’m calling him on the carpet for changing his sharp, fun replies to some pussy, lame-ass P.C. crap-replies. Hardly a kiss-ass.
You, on the other hand, are doing some insipid Psyc 101. You are trying to kiss his ass by noting (INCORRECTLY, I might add) others who have kissed his ass and trying to say you don’t like it, but are, in fact, DOING it.
So, please, kiss MY ass, and not for any sort of enjoyable reasons
Listen to you. “Kiss my ass” is lame, but “persons who are assholes” sings. However, you raise a good point. There’s a tendency in editing to take the edge off. We’ll have to watch this. Bear in mind, however, that editing gives Cecil and his instrument, namely myself, a chance to add zip to stuff that just kinda laid there the first time out.
Example. Cecil answered a question about engine turning once. Straight answer, no attempt at humor. When it came time to put the question into MOTSD, we tweaked it as follows:
Much better. Similarly, in the answer to a letter from someone who expressed shock that iron-fortified cereals contained iron filings, the original intro, to be blunt, sucked. It continued to suck in the book. When this column went online, the Master changed it to:
Definitely an improvement. Numerous other examples could be adduced. So let’s have a little appreciation. Cecil, in his obnoxious way, is working hard for you, as are his faithful servants. Wherefore, if we occasionally boot one, don’t say, “The old crock is really losing it,” but rather, “He is obviously under strain. I should send him fifty bucks.” It’ll be much appreciated by all.
(I should state that the electric chair column is near and dear to my heart; for over fifteen years it’s been my bait of choice when scheming to bring the deserving and unwary into the Cecil Cult. “Hey, read this.”)
Cece addresses the querant with barely disguised loathing from the first; it’s easy to tell what his thoughts about government-sponsored convict frying are. Nonetheless, he takes grim pleasure in strapping the supplicant down and cranking up the juice.
As he slides into paragraph three and the history of electrical execution, he begins to wax pedantic and all signs of disapproval fade.
In the final para, the phrase “I don’t particularly care to learn of any” reintroduces a sort of schoolmarm sniffiness…and THEN, the magnificent “Persons who are ASSHOLES, such as yourself, are not permitted to participate.” You can almost feel the saliva of the sibilants on your forehead! It’s STILL one of Cecil’s finest moments.
– Uke, channelling Paul de Man from beyond the grave
Frump, what is your problem? Kids put jalapeno in the Preparation H again? Fact is, I agree with you. Due to Little Ed and his lame-ass P.C. sensibilities, some of my best stuff winds up on the cutting-room floor. For instance, I initially began this note, “Frump, you ambulatory bag of maggots,” which I thought had a certain elfin charm. However, Ed said this would result in the thread getting sent to the Pit, I should be a good example, etc. So if what you see here is lame-ass, don’t blame me.
Oh, and Ed? While you’re under the chassis, delete the final line, would you? “If you really want to see an execution, your best bet is to hope they bring back burning at the stake.” That wasn’t in the Book, either, and it really doesn’t add much, just deletes the zip and ginger of the original closer.
Cool. Cecil, you are a man of high moral fiber. Thank you for taking this re-editing of alredy edited and published works by the horns, and twisting until you heard the SNAP.
Seven Cecil posts on this thread…damn, we should bait the old geezer more often.
Not to mention all the good sig line material. Frumpy, I go back and forth between preferring mine to yours, and vice versa. It’s a pearl beyond price to be singled out as the only poster out of the Teeming Thousands that is beyond his pale, but I must admit that “ambulatory bag of maggots” has a wonderfully decadent charm, in a sort of Old World way.
Cece, I take it back. With a little practice, I think you could hold your own here.
This totals 68 Cecilian posts. His post count, as of this morning, is 73. Question is, where did the other 5 posts go? (While I may have missed a post somewhere, I put ‘Cecil Adams’ into the browser’s ‘find in page’ function for all but the shortest threads.)
I know the UBB-to-vB conversion lost some threads, but I would have to know far more than I do about the software and the conversion to know whether that even might be the source of the difference. Anyone else have any ideas?
Holy smoke. He DID it. I KNEW the membership dues in the Mystical Brotherhood of Editors was cash well spent.
See you at the cocktail lounge at the Drake, Mr. Z; the expense-account martinis are on me. We’ll share a chuckle over the pathetic hopes and dreams of authors, and swap tales of grinding them under our hobnailed boots.
I had to poke my nose in for a moment, and make perfectly clear the following:
I do not require acknowledgement.
I refuse to goad anyone deliberately at this time.
I think that those of you who have been acknowledged should retreat with your prizes while the getting’s good.
Because:
I am a self-actualized individual…at least, that’s what my friends all tell me.*
It’s taking too much effort to stay reasonably civil when I see threads apparently written by 14-year-old girls with really horrible estrogen imbalances. I am almost compelled to reply, and it’s almost never pretty.
I’m with you, Hamadryad. I just couldn’t resist a post in here, not while I’m trying to build up my post number. Personally, I have faith in the Master. And if I’m puckering up, so be it. What flavor of lip gloss should I use?
(But I still think someone could use a trip to the Pit, just for trying to edit Uncle Cece…)
And what have I done for you lately??..fought ignorance…isn’t that enough**!?** (Ok!!! I’ll buy another one of your books–:insert cash in Cecil’s pocket: )
Tacky sig lines are part of the Universe, you know, just like you. Who’s to say there’s enough or not enough of them? …You? Bwahahaha!
