Silo, don’t you realize Unca Cece fulfilled your request? You now have your very own custom-made insult to tack onto your posts!
Man, everyone here’s so damn smart. I’m tired after a long day, and ain’t up to ass-kissin’…
But, Cecil, I can ante up a footrub, even if it’s in the typy-type sense. Here ya go, if yer ready. Set them tired doggies up here, and let’s start with the Big Toe. That’s about all the edge of another I can handle. Yer welcome.
Frump,
Everyone of us, by posting to this site, buying the books, reading the colums, recruiting followers and spreading the word of Cecil has, invaribly, puckered up and kissed his ass.
I’ve done it, you’ve done it. we all have done it.
and missy, as for my little Ed bashing, the smiley should have said it all.
and to the rest of you, I am aware of the possible meanings of the above sentence, thank you 
2 small corrections,
Invariably
and
Columns
my apologies.
Poor Crunchy! My god, 7 posts and nothing for Crunchy. Too bad.
Are you afraid that if Cecil doesn’t notice you, you don’t really exist?
(Yes, I do know the meaning of irony. Why do you ask?)
You’ll never get me to admit it out loud…
Hi, Cecil!
(feel free to put “personally welcomed by Gunslinger” or something like that in you sig. It’d be wonderfully ironic :D)
Though I live in the Chicago area, I personally had never heard of Cecil or the Chicago Reader until I stumbled across this web site. While I respect Cecil and the reverance some hold toward him, I personally feel no allegiance to the man. I value the fellow posters more than him, for they’re the ones who answer my questions, engage in discussions, etc.
This is the definitive message board. You could destroy every other message board in existance and still get most of your questions answered and comments made right here on the straight dope boards. So thanks to all of you posters who make this board what it is. I’m kissing all of your asses right now.
I think the answer is obvious:
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but you can’t stab someone in the eye socket with a keyboard.
Ah, but remember…if it were not for Cecil, none of the rest of us would exist.
On THIS bardo, anyway.
After reading the newest column (unlinked as of yet, about dinosaur sex), I must say:
THE MASTER IS BACK!
Poor Crunchy 
I am rootin’ for ya-- maybe CA will come back one more time to give ya something spiffy for your sig. Or better yet, maybe he’ll come hang out at MPSIMS for a while.
(Don’t worry Cecil-- we won’t tell the other boards you’re there.)
Ya know, all this stuff about Cecil’s supposed lameness and Ed Zotti editing the zingers out and various Dopers making him put stuff back in makes me think of a buncha medieval scholars debating various fine points of ephemera that you can’t conclusively prove exist in the first place.
Let’s all reflect for a moment on Cecil’s official title. What is it?
World’s Smartest Human Being.
Cecil may be a helluva lot smarter than most of us put together but for God’s sake, he’s a man… he’s not perfect! Not every subject under the sun easily lends itself to comedic riffing and ribbing. And besides, what good would the zingers be if he threw two or three of them in every column? I say save 'em up for the true total dipsticks who show up with the mindless or macabre questions.
Besides, he’s been doing this for nigh on to 30 years. We all have our times when our performance might not be up to our personal level of snuff.
So quitcherbitchin, you guys. You don’t like the way Cecil answers the questions, why don’t you write in a question you’d like to see him answer? Get off the board and use a pen and paper. Or his e-mail.
Oh, and by the way, Uncle Cecil, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the wonderful one-liner about ketchup on hot dogs. You don’t know how many times I’ve been able to use that one in a highly imperious tone of voice. 
Yeah, so maybe I’m kissing his ass. Kiss mine.
Yeah, buried on page 3, just my luck. Anyway, I dislike hero worship myself. It’s something you should grow out of when you’re around six. And, Olentzero, thank you for the only intelligent post in this thread. You may be a Commie, but you aren’t stupid.
I wake up early just to check on the debate over Israel in GD and I look in here just for laughs. Derleth, that’s honestly gotta be the nicest thing anybody ever said about me on this board.
I personally dislike using others’ quotes about oneself as a sig, but this one seriously made me reconsider. Thanks, bud.
And that may be the nicest thing anyone’s said about ME on this board. Different strokes…
and miss the most exciting thread I’ve seen in a while.
I gotta get back in the game. How can I be fighting ignorance when I’m in school all the time?
I distinctly remember it was a double-sawbuck.
- jam
Okay, there’s the missing reference that makes that last
post slightly less nonsensical. :o
The multiple-pages thingy threw me. <sigh> It’s not easy
being a newbie.
- jam