Obviously Padme told Obi-Wan about the ‘sand’ conversation.
It does seem the thought (or at least the retcon) was that Vader would never suspect we’d stash the boy at Tatooine.
It’s a rat rod. Fake patina, new parts deliberately damaged to look old. Parts that make no sense.
Lucas was ahead of his time,
Vader gets that briefing:
Officer Abouttobestrangled: “Lord Vader, imperial intelligence has completed the dossier on the pilot that destroyed the battlestation.”
Vader: [Looking at the ipad] “Good, he was very strong in the force, we need to track… his name is Skywalker?”
Officer Abouttobestrangled: “Yes Lord Vader, he is a farmer from the planet Tattoine, a desert world of little account on the outer rim. Imperial forces have already executed and searched the home of his uncle…”
Vader: [Looking at ipad] “Owen, fucking Lars? My mom’s house?”
[Closeup of Vader’s helmet with wet strangling sounds in the background].
If somebody told me, “Guess what? You have a son you didn’t know about,” my first thought would NOT be “Hey, I’ll bet he’s hiding in that shithole neighborhood where I lived until I was 9 years old. Christ, I’m glad I got out of that miserable place! Anyway, that’s gotta be where the kid is.” But that’s just me.
That said, one of my general complaints about the Star Wars series is that too much of it happens on Tatooine. There have to be some other backwater planets that are comparably wretched hives of scum and villany. (Okay, there’s Jakku, but that’s basically the same planet with a different name.)
Well, you know, it saves money 
I think one of the contemporary street terms is “sleeper”.
Not only that, but all the important people, the most important people in the entire galaxy, are closely related.
Maybe there’s something to that Tatooine sand after all?
That is just a Bene Gesserit thing.
It wouldn’t be my first thought, either. I’d probably start with Naboo (where my girlfriend was from), then Coruscant (the center of the Empire), then Alderaan (where a lot of the folks my girlfriend hung out with were from). But Tatooine would certainly be in the top 10. And that’s really close to the top of the list, for a galaxy with millions of planets.
Oh! Discuss while hacking at each other with your lightsabers did you?
Under the name Skywalker too. Talk about being cocksure of yourself.
Good call. Star Wars has Bene Gesserit fingerprints all over it. You just know they’ve been breeding for midichlorians Force sensitivity since the days of the Old Republic.
Shmee Skywalker was obviously a Reverend Mother deep undercover in a mission to bring balance to the Force conceive the Kwisatz Haderach.
Padme Amidala was the B.G.'s attempt to bring that bloodline back under their control. Totally explains why she was “attracted” to Anakin. The twins were intentional–either the boy would be compliant, or the girl would try with the next generation. And while risky, the B.G.'s were not adverse to inbreeding.
For all we know, “Skywalker” could be the galactic equivalent of “Thompson”.
I mean, Luke was brought up in Anakin’s mom’s house. The place he brought her body back to and where she’s buried. It’s profoundly stupid aside from the name.
He should have waited for Jerry Springer to read the lab results?
Naah, that’s Antilles
.
In Star Trek, they’re either related or all served on a ship called Enterprise or know someone who did. “Star Trek Discovery” only has about twenty characters in the entire galaxy, and of course the protagonist is a sister of Spock’s we mysteriously never heard of before.
Had we ever heard of Spock’s brother before he showed up trying to get God a spaceship?
Really, what it comes down to is: George Lucas is a shitty writer.
Just limiting this to Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back at the moment, every line of dialogue he wrote was written solely to evoke the nostalgia for the genres he grew up with–cliffhanger serials and such. He didn’t think through the meaning of anything anyone said. He didn’t plan for future story lines.
Lucas didn’t plan for Darth Vader to literally be Luke’s father. He didn’t plan for Leia to be his twin sister. He didn’t think through the implications of the Force and the Jedi. That’s why nothing makes sense in the Star Wars setting if you try to think about it.
It’s all just about evoking feelings. None of it is meant to be taken literally.
Not so different from Quentin Tarantino.