The scene: Our living room. The time: Earlier this evening.
Whatsit Jr. has been suffering from diaper rash, so we occasionally let him have “naked time” to air out his parts. So far we haven’t had any major accidents on the carpet, so I figured he just kind of grokked that naked time wasn’t the appropriate time to do his business.
It is to laugh.
So I’m sitting on the loveseat reading a library book, and all of a sudden I see MrWhatsit, sitting on the couch opposite, leap into the air, screaming “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh noooo! NOOO! OOH NOOOO!” as he scoops up Whatsit Jr. and runs to the bathroom with him.
That was odd, I think. Then I look down and notice the “deposit” that Whatsit Jr. cleverly left on the carpet. Luckily pretty solid and of a piece, as it were. I think to myself, wow, I am totally not cleaning that up. I start devising ways I can bribe MrWhatsit to do it instead, perhaps by some nefarious use of feminine wiles.
Meantime, I hear MrWhatsit in the bathroom, trying to coax Whatsit Jr. into finishing his business on the training potty. No dice. The kid was so done. So MrWhatsit comes back into the living room with some wads of TP, in order to clean up the mess. (No bribes necessary! What a guy!)
MrWhatsit is in the midst of gingerly picking up Piece 1 when Whatsit Jr., realizing he is missing out on the action, comes tearing around the corner… and promptly steps in Piece 2.
Reprise of “Ooh! OOH NOOO!” from the heretofore unbeknowst to me Richard-Harris-like MrWhatsit.
I, meanwhile, am incapacitated by hysterical laughter, reduced to making incomprehensible “kkh kkh kkh” sounds in the back of my throat. Whatsit Jr. finds this amusing and runs over to join in the hilarity. MrWhatsit is close behind, trying to get Whatsit Jr. to keep from putting his “offending” foot down on the carpet again, leading Whatsit Jr. to walk in a comical hopping fashion. I try to say, “Don’t come near my clean jeans with your stinkfoot, young man!” but all that comes out is more “KKH KKH KKH KKH”.
It’s now an hour later, everything is all cleaned up, and the offending party is sound asleep in bed. I continue to have spurts of giggling every fifteen minutes or so, and MrWhatsit continues to be Officially Unamused.
The moral of the story: Save “naked time” for the linoleum, and always know where your carpet spot remover is.