When I mess up I strangle and bite myself, start crying and utterly BSOD for a few days. Sadly I’m not kidding. So I suppose so long as I was PERFECT I could muddle through my service, but that’s not quite likely.
I can’t think and talk at the same time.
After I slept with Michelle, things would be awkward at cabinet meetings.
I have a few skeletons in my closet.
No, really. I don’t have a backyard to bury the bodies so it seemed like the only logical place to keep them.
I think the vetting machine would explode within 100 feet of me.
When they asked, “Have you ever attempted to overthrow, or contributed to a group that attempted to overthrow, the U.S. government, by sedition or force?”
I thought too long, and then said “sedition.”
Weed.
I’ve plotted to overthrow the government. Obama may have broken the coke barrier, but some lines just can’t be crossed.
So is Joe Biden. Last I checked, he’s got a pretty sweet job in the Obama administration.
OK, again, Joe Freakin’ Biden.
Welcome to American politics. Nobody can get elected without being avowedly Christian except in the most blatantly liberal elections (say, representative for Hillcrest, or governor of Vermont) or, presumably, in local races where Christians are in the minority.
Hostile Dialect,
Hostile Dialect, Narcissist
Weed doesn’t count. In Dreams of My Father, Obama admits to drug use during high school - he doesn’t go into detail at all, but it is pretty obvious that in this day and age no one cares if you’ve used drugs in the past, as long as (1) you don’t lie about it; and (2) you aren’t using them anymore.
Heck, didn’t W admit to cocaine usage when he was a youngster? Or was that just in some inflamed dream I had?
I once made a mistake on my 1040 and the IRS sent me a letter saying I owed them more money plus a penalty. I read the text about the mistake I’d made and said “Bwuh?”, then wrote a check and mailed it. That was about 18 years ago and I haven’t heard anything more about it, but apparently that’s a cardinal sin now.
I used to take a personal holiday every February 2nd and some of my coworkers thought that meant I was a pagan, so that could be a problem. The truth is even worse: I’m an atheist and I don’t hide it. I got arrested for marijuana possession last year (under a gram; I pled guilty). And every one of my friends and relatives would tell any investigator that I’m smart, but seriously insane. Seriously.
I believe he consistently refused to confirm or deny any allegations concerning illegal drug use beyond stating that he had not used any illegal drugs in the past twenty five years when he was running for office in 1999.
Probably my constant questioning of his policies.
Sixteen-fourteen years ago, I worked as a phone sex operator.
Wow, Were you, by any chance, “Mistress Penelope?” If so, it’s me…“Harold.”
Yeah I’ve read his books.
I wouldn’t quit, so it would count.
Kicked out of the Marine Corps for “poor military aptitude” after I told a superior EXACTLY how he failed to measure up to standards.
Significant drug experimentation (and being a believer in the scientific method, I kept on testing new hypotheses) after that, to make up for lost time.
Two contributions on record: Pat Bucahanan and Obama. I would LOVE to sit through that round of questioning.
Columnist for a right wing campus newspaper in my youth.
Nope, sorry, I was always “Tonya”. 
I’m pretty sure he and Pres. Obama have both admitted to having used cocaine.
You make a good point with the honesty thing–Bill Clinton isn’t derided for having smoked pot in college (who didn’t?), but for claiming that he “didn’t inhale”.
Hostile Dialect,
Hostile Dialect, Narcissist
Not being an American.
Being a Satanist.
The fact that you could probably still purchase pictures of me naked off the internet (and the fact that I fully intend to be in a live action porn DVD at some point in the not so distant future - it’s one of my goals in life people!)
The fact that I’ve smoked weed although am anti now.
The fact that I’m gay.
The fact that I’m not particularly interested in saying what people want to hear.
Probably in that order.
I’m the wrong nationality.