Why ?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am an artist and a writer, though not professionally speaking. I have never made any attempt to submit my art or written works for publishing or sale. Although, I am semi-open to the idea, I am not yet comfortable with the concept.
I suppose I enjoy encouragement, for what it’s worth, but it becomes annoying after time.

I am aware I often make inadvertent typographical errors in my posts. This is mostly due to hurry and impatience. That’s a poor excuse, I know, but nobody’s perfect. Despite the preceding, I have been told that my offline writing, and especially my art, is quite good.

I have never met anyone, in person, who has NOT nagged me to try selling or publishing my work, after viewing/reading it. Family, friends, and acquaintances, are always spewing suggestions at me. “Why don’t you send that in to the newspaper?” * “Why don’t you finish your novel and send it in to…?” * “Why don’t you make some cartoons and send them to such and such?” and the list goes on and on.

Why don’t they mind their own business? I appreciate their kind words and suggestions, but it’s my work. I will send it away when I am ready, or never if I choose. Sure, maybe I have nothing to lose by sending my work out, and possibly plenty to gain. Regardless, I think sending my work away, “just because I can” is a very poor reason to try.

I understand that these people are complimenting my work, and I appreciate that a lot. If my work sucked, I doubt anyone would be nagging me. Maybe some are just being patronizingly nice, but the majority are very sincere. To me, my work is just that, my work. I don’t feel I am any Van Gogh or Shakespeare, by any means. I don’t think I am special. I do take pride and joy in my works, but I do not allow it to become a center of egocentrism. Perhaps, people are hungry for new and fresh ideas, and they see my work as such, and would like to see more because of that. Whatever it is, I wish people would ease off of the, “why don’t you…” cliches.

If people want to compliment me on my work, feel free, and I will thank them. I don’t understand why the compliment always has to be accompanied by the nagging. I may be being somewhat cynical in regard to my “fans” and possibly appear to be ungrateful. Instead, I am simply jaded. As I write this, I am thinking of more cliches, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” I’m sorry, but I am 30 years old and have spent over half of my life hearing countless people nagging me to do something with my work. Maybe I should just give them what they want and finish/publish my novel, etc. Would that really shut them up, though?.. doubtful

I shudder to think what would/could happen if my book, poetry, script, etc., became a hit. It’s bad enough now, as small as it is. I can’t imagine hundreds or thousands of people begging for more, e.g., Harry Potter-mania. I’m not saying I am that good, or that bad. The prospect of success is/can be as equally frightening, if not more so, than that of failure.

I suppose it is human nature to want to aspire, achieve, and pursue one’s dreams. People transfer their own ambitions on to others, therefore, the nagging. I am a bit lacking in the ambition department, and this only intensifies the situation. Is ambition really so vital to the human psyche?

I do have a dream, and I have mentioned it here before. I would love to write, produce, direct, motion pictures. When people hear that, the first thing I hear is always, “Go for it,” or “So, why don’t you?” Why is it so vital that one should pursue their dreams in life? If I do, or do not achieve my dreams, then so what? I suppose my nonchalance is disconcerting to most. I see their point: “You only live life once, and it’s short, so why not make the most of it?”
My question to them is, “Why does it have to be the most, or the least… why can’t one just simply live?” I realize that attitude is a very un-fulfilling way to live. Perhaps, my motivations and priorities are misplaced. I feel this is most likely. Admittedly, I know it to be a fact.

Well, I have rambled on enough for now. These thoughts are not exactly relative to the board, but I was inspired to share my thoughts, anyway. Maybe they will mean something to someone, maybe not. This, after all, IS mundane pointless stuff I must share. :smiley:

2

I dunno. I guess the way I see it, Art without an audience is little more than artistic masturbation…But then, that’s just me…

3

I wouldn’t consider it nagging unless they keep on telling you that “you should publish it” all the time. If it is the first time that they have seen your work, take the statement as a compliment. I know I would. If they persist, then I’d consider it nagging and politely say something. Tell them you appreciate their comments, but you are not interested in going public with your work.

Quite a lot of people are ambition driven and think that something like this is a wasted talent. They think that because you are good at it, you should try and capitalize on it. I understand your situation. I had a friend who was into drawing sailboats. Many people who, after seeing his work, said he should consider art classes and go professional. He just liked to draw sailboats… nothing more.

4

Maybe you should be a comedy writer, because I sure as hell laughed throughout that whole post!

5

MSK - I kind of understand where you are coming from.

I get the same kind of stuff: "It’s never too late to go to college - “Who says you can’t make that ‘dream’ come true” (well, jerk, yeah, it kinda is for me - for personal reasons I would never even begin to tell you), “You really ought to put that talent to better use - you could go so far” (well, jerk, yeah, I really can’t right now, for personal reasons I would never even begin to tell you), “It’s never too late to follow your dreams” (well, jerk, yeah it is for me for personal reasons I would never even begin to tell you) etc., ad naseum.

I don’t understand why people feel this need to do color commentary on my life, my future, or anything else related to me. Most of them hardly know me. In fact, the ones that really DO know me have learned to keep their mouths shut. And for that matter, what makes those idiots who feel they have this burning desire to prattle off some hallmark sentiment about chasing your dreams think they even have the right to assume ANYthing about me, my health, my child, my past, or my future?

I know, I know, not helpful in the least, but at least I can sympathize with you, man.

6

Life is too short, do what you want.

Not what other people think you should do

7

The way I see it - if you’re telling everybody “I want to go to Africa” or “I want to be the singer in a half-man/half-monkey rock band” then that is basically asking them to say “go for it” or “you can do it.”

If you don’t want to hear that then shut up and don’t tell anybody what you want to do so they won’t encourage you.

8

It’s the way people define success for someone in the creative arts. Dancers have recitals. Musicians have concerts–or get recording contracts. Artists get gallery shows. Writers get published. It’s just how many people think good artists (of any type) get rewarded for having real talent.

My husband is an excellent woodworker. People nag him all the time about when he’ll sell stuff. Our neighbor is constantly drumming up prospective business for us. Even the UPS man gave him an encouraging “Do what you love, and the money will follow!” speech about it. But my husband has absolutely no interest in building anything for anyone else for money. But it’s hard for people to accept.

They mean well. It’s a compliment. It’s their way of saying they think you’re good enough. You really shouldn’t have so much angst about that.

9

It’s not that I never=ever want to make an attempt to publish, I simply am not ready. I am not sure when I will be ready.

Yes, many of the same people are the naggers. They have been nagging for years. These are the ones that get really annoying. First-time naggers are tolerable unless they go overboard.

It almost becomes impossible to not tell them. People who who want to know me and what makes me who I am, will bring it up. “What do you do for a living,” “What would you like to do for a living,” “Have you ever been to college,” and so on. People want to know what makes other people tick. It’s nearly inevitable that someone will ask, at some point. It would be very bizarre to reply to such questions with something like, “I prefer not to discuss that right now.”

10

MSK- this reminds me of a scene in the movie “Hope Floats” where Sandy Bullock’s character asks Harry Connick’s character why he doesn’t do finish carpentry professionally. His reply is something like, “oh, you mean the American dream? Take something you love, pervert it and try to make money with it? No thanks”.

Don’t sweat it honey. Do whatever the hell you want & quit giving people rent-free space in your head.

11

I don’t know, MSK, maybe they nag you because they are sick of hearing you complain about your job as the midnight stockboy? Maybe they nag you because they want to help you overcome some shyness or fear about publishing? Maybe because they genuinely like the work and want to see more of it?

A good response to nagging (and really personal questions) is “How kind of you to say (ask) so. Now what’s new with you?”

Not to be a nag, but go and buy The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Trust me, as someone who is also nagged but just not quite ready.

P.S. Ugh, why did I fall for the ambiguous thread title into another MSK me me me me me me thread?

12

:::sigh::: I’m sorry, Magdalene. You have a point.

13

MSK - buy the book. It will help you work up to being ready, and it will help you deal with doubts and nags and time suckers and feeling like you can’t.