I just want to be a writer, dammit

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Rejection letters. I know they pave the road of a writer, but sheez. They can be so very discouraging. And man, do I ever have thin skin.

If I want any kind of success as a writer, I have to be able to take it, sigh heavily, and move on with the next submission, and the next, and the next. I’m discovering that finding the right audience for my work is tricky in and of itself; even then, once I find a place that seems the correct market, I get turned down. Not respectably turned down, just the generic “it does not meet our editorial needs at this time” that could mean my writing is trash, the article was boring, or the story was awkward. (Criminy, they even returned the cover letter.)

Another publication turned an article down for completely different reasons–the magazine no longer exists. Whoops. However, they did refer me to a similar publication to submit to. Yay, kindof. sigh Another rejection was due to length And another I haven’t heard from in nearly six months–and that’s the place that has published me before.

I always wanted to be a writer. Always. And of course, I always wrote–story after story after story (usually horse-related, being completely equine infatuated as a child…and, well, now too). I was going to be a novelist “when I grew up.” I’m grown up. And you know, I’ve made an interesting discovery in my maturing: fiction writing is not my strength (ironic, as all of my commercially published pieces have been short stories–and yes, horsey stories at that). Feature, humor, observation, anecdotal…that’s my forté. But how the hell can I be a writer doing that, when I can’t even get a single article of that nature published? Sure, I published them in my college paper years ago…but this is the real world.

I was told in my college days that I was exceptionally talented for my age (now I’m an adult, and that makes the talent less noticeable). I even won a national writing contest and a trip to D.C.–only to have the prize revoked when they discovered I wasn’t going to be a senior in college, I was a senior in college (the rules said it was open to sophomores-seniors; it wasn’t clear). That was absolutely…devastating.

So I graduate, I publish a couple more short stories, and then I go back to school. My writing “career” pauses. I begin teaching, the stories (written and otherwise) begin accumulating…hope slowly returns as I dream of maybe, just maybe, having some success publicly sharing these stories with my peers.

I haven’t been published since 1996.

Last summer, my goal was to begin writing a novel. I wrote four complete chapters and segments of others when I realized…it stunk. The second chapter was fairly good, and the first decent, but the rest…phew. I’ve given up on it, although I submitted a cropped version of the second chapter to a currently nonresponsive editor.

If I were a racehorse, I’d say I needed an easy race. Trainer Bob Baffert took a very talented colt named Captain Steve–a colt who had lost his last six races–and entered him in the Iowa Derby. This is like putting Michael Johnson in a high school track meet. Needless to say, Captain Steve won, easily. Asked why he ran the colt against such an obviously overmatched field, he said, “He needed a confidence builder.” He won a $500,000 race next out. I need an easier forum, just something to get my name and work on another’s ink and paper…

I just want to be a writer, dammit. I’m not even asking for full time–I just want to be regularly published, somewhere. I want this talent so many have told me I have being used, shared, enjoyed. Hell with the talent, I just want to write. I have horrible writer’s block now; a paralyzing criticism and sense of foreboding rest heavily on my shoulders when I try to write, dully stating that no matter how hard I try, how good I might think I am, I will never succeed as a writer. It’s a pipe dream.

I just want to be a writer, dammit.

2

Hey Ruffian – I know it feels very discouraging, but whatever you do, keep writing! These days you can do a lot to submit your stuff electronically, to newsgroups, your own Web site, etc. Since I’m a technical writer and not trying to publish the Great American Novel I don’t have to deal with that whole “submitting your work for publication” cycle, but but I know it’s really hard. I was reading a Web page by a published author who says it’s getting worse (the publishers want to focus on the Steels, Kings, and Cornwells), but that you can take the bull by the horns and at least get your works read at your home page.

If you haven’t already, make sure you have the current version of “Writer’s Market” so you don’t waste too much time soliciting to publishers who aren’t interested in your particular type of writing.

Good luck, and chin up! (oh, and KEEP WRITING).

3

Don’t let it get you down. It’s certainly not an easy profession but don’t judge yourself on their opinions. Remain true to yourself and your style.

Write because you enjoy writing. Publication should be a wonderful bonus not the end goal.

4

Actually many authors when writing a novel, rewrite it about a half dozen times before their satisfied. The Great Gatsby, for instance, was written (as I recall) about 20 times before Scott F. was satisfied with it.

Be persistant Ruffian, that is the way to succeed. If you work hard enough at something eventually it will come through.

Side note:

I know an author who I’ve been trying to lure to the SD. He’s a cool guy, and wrote a novel which he’s been trying to get published. He would make a great addition to the board. I hope I can get him here as a poster. Everyone cross their fingers.

5

to track down the exact quote, but this one has always inspired me. I hope you will find it useful.

"To sum it all up, if you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling.

"You must write every single day of your life.

"You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next.

"You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads.

"I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime.

"I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you.

"May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories - science fiction or otherwise.

"Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.
Ray Bradbury

6

Laura,

And you’re what, 27?

Methinks you have plenty of time to fulfill your aspirations! I’ve met you in person and you are obviously bright and gifted–if your words on paper are a fraction as interesting as you are in real life, I’d say that you don’t lack the talent, you just haven’t found the right opportunity yet.

I must say, however, that if you are thin skinned, choosing writing as a profession might be very difficult. You’ll need to thicken that skin.

I do hope you’ll keep writing–I don’t know you well, but I believe in you, if that matters.

7

Never give up, never surrender. :slight_smile:

Just keep writing. Don’t stop. Success in writing is a combination of perseverence and talent, in that order.

8

Cheer up!

I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I sent in my first sbmission when I was 13 (I still have the rejection letter).I’ve finally gotten my first book published. It can happen.

Keep plugging. As people have said above, write every day. If something doesn’t seem t be working, put i aside and try something else. When you come back to the first thing, it will feel different, maybe better.

Ignore rejection letters. I once got one that that photocopied, and it was photocopied crooked on the paper. Ignore the people telling you you couldn’t or shouldn’t do this. If you can’t write well now, practice will fix that.

If you really want to write, it’s like a disease. You can’t help it. You’ll find yourself writing business memos that are too literary, or you’ll write long letters to friends, or you’ll start a journal or diary.

Getting your book into print demands a wide variety of skills – you’ve got to research the book, write the book, and proofread the book. You need to be a salesman to persuade someone else to publish it. (There will be a lot of rejection – keep pushing.) You need to be a businessman/woman and a publicity agent.

It helps to have a colossal ego, because you have to keep persuading yourself that you have something that you want the world to see, and that people will, in fact, want to see it. So adopt a positive attitude.

9

Warm hugs for my favorite person named “ruffian.” grin

One thing you clearly already have down perfect: The author’s photo. grrrrowwwl

It’s hard to deal with the rejection and uncertainty. You could do what I did, which is to get a writing job and sublimate. The potential downside is that you may find yourself lacking the juice to write for yourself after spending eight hours trying to make,say, locksmithing sound interesting. :rolleyes:

I like the idea of capitalizing on the Internet as a distribution channel. If you aren’t wedded to the idea of making a LIVING at it, there are endless outlets for your work.

10

You’ve been very kind and generous in the sympathy and complimentary departments. I am feeling better today, but those rejection letters are always such a downer.

Troy, I purposely did not become a professional writer because I feared it would take away my creative energies for the kind of pieces I’d really want to write. When I worked on the university newpaper, I found myself annoyed writing about so-and-so’s retirement, this person’s resignation, thata building going up. BOR-ing! I enjoyed copy editing far more. I want the freedom to pursue the topics of my interest, but I’m finding it comes with a high price: being published is butt-hard.

I like the idea of publishing some pieces off my web page…my only concern is, how could I make sure it’s copyrighted and protected from plagiarism? Otherwise, hell…at least it will be in a place where it can be see.

11

I rilly wonted to bee a riter two, butt thay sed dat mai stile wuzn’t so gud. Yu rite rilly pritty. I thinck dat yu shuld keip ritin’. Dont let dem git yu doun. If yu got truble, uz hookt on foniks.

12

Even the best writers get rejected. It’s not all about talent, it’s also about personal tastes of the editor, weird moods, what day your MS arrived, and then things like content appropriateness, space limitatons, etc. All of which have NOTHING at all to do with your talent or your chances for future success.

I know more about the realm of academic writing that I do about other writing. I can tell you I am astounded to see the comments, criticisms, and demand for changes I see on MS submitted by scholars who are tops in their fields and considered exceptionally good writers, too. My advisor is an excellent writer and one of the leading scholars in our field. She’s won every award possible. And good lord, when she gets something back, it’s like a bear ripped the end off a red ink pen and shook it between his jaws. I also did some research analyzing submissions to an academic journal, and saw that the same was true for every top scholar in our field.

Still, it sure does sting, doesn’t it? Try hard to think about all the people who have read your stuff and said “I loved it!” and “You should be published!”

13

Ruffian, like the others I say don’t give up. Writing is hard work and you seem more that up for the task. Just look at what you wrote as to what you’ve done so far: You’ve turned in stories, articles, and the like. This is way more than most people can say. You have the work ethic and I can tell just by talking to you that you have the talent.
Now I know it’s tough. I write also and the rejection letters can mess with you, get you to thinking about what you’re doing. But it’s like Cranky said, it’s all on the whim of an editor. You never know when one will see your talent and give you that call.
Also, doesn’t it feel great when you are published. I don’t know about you, but I really felt like it was something. I felt like my work touched somebody, and maybe others would enjoy it as well. It takes hard work and the set-backs can be tough, but the rewards are so much greater. To quote Jean Caldwell, “The only truly happy people are children and the creative minority.”

14

Ruffian, sorry to be jumping into this so late. As a writer, I identify with your OP all kinds of ways. I once started an essay about how much more quickly and efficiently you can get rejected now that the Internet allows us to submit our work via e-mail. “When I logged on and found the rejection note waiting barely 16 hours after I’d submitted the piece, I did what any professional writer would do: I spilled an entire cup of coffee into an open desk drawer, ruining a brand-new roll of stamps…”

The other posts in this thread have covered many areas of wisdom. Remember particularly that rejections often have little to do with the quality of the work. As Rob and Cranky said, your piece may have crossed the editor’s desk on a bad day. There may have been space for only one story, the editor had two s/he liked, and yours just lost out that time around. The trouble with rejections is that you frequently don’t know just how close you came to making it.

Here are a few other thoughts…

Do you belong to a writers’ group? Getting together regularly with other people who have the same aspirations and frustrations can be wonderfully reassuring and energizing. A caution: It can also be a disaster, depending on the type of people involved. I’ve belonged to both kinds. The group I’ve been going to for three years now inspires me, keeps me writing, and helps me over the humps. If you don’t have a circle of writerly firends interested in meeting, regional writers’ associations or the English dept at your nearest college may be able to put you in touch with a group.

If one of your primary problems is just the emotional wallop you deal with when the rejection letter comes in the mail, think about getting someone else act as your administrative assistant, doing the mailing for you and receiving the rejections. This is a duty you could swap with another writer (like, from your group!): You field her mss, she fields yours. Once you’ve developed a list of potential markets, your AA can keep putting the ms back in the mail to the next market on the list. You don’t even have to know what’s been rejected. Just keep writing new stuff. The more work you have circulating, the better your chances of hitting.

If you’re feeling blocked, go to a good bookstore and browse the writing section for something that might get you going again. Maybe it’s true that nobody can teach you to write, but there are a lot of good books out there that can help you out with techniques for dealing with that stuck feeling. If you don’t already have it and you can appreciate a particularly dark sense of humor, I highly recommend Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, one of the funniest and truest books on the writing life I’ve ever encountered.

Sorry to run on for so long…Best of luck to you.