I swear, why can people be able to get my emotions in a tangle so easily when there is a mutual admiration? ok, here’s a copy of what I sent to one of my friends in an email about it…
“Right now I’m kind of not in the greatest mood because Chris doesn’t know what he wants to do about the fact that
there’s a mutual admiration thing going on here. It kind of makes me nervous because I really like him from what I’ve experienced of him so far. I find him attractive in a way that I just want to take him and share something besides
friendship with him intensely. It will make me sad if he decides he doesn’t want to even try something out with me as more than friends. It almost scares me that he might not even consider it. Ugh, I’m sorry to dump this on you, it’s just that I talked with im about 20 minutes ago and it’s all that’s on my mind because it affects me emotionally too much. Well, at least it shouldn’t affect me the way it does. He barely even knows me and he can pull at my emotions so easily with the right words. ::whimper:: Why am I so fucking weak?!? Why? [Please Tasha, don’t start crying, it’s no good to do it over this.]”
I’m so attracted to the guy and he basically told me he wasn’t sure of how the day we met affected how he feels. In short, he doesn’t know if it’s afterglow of a little odd behavior or whether he truly wants to start a relationship with me, and until he figures it out, I will have no clue how to deal. I just don’t want to cry. I haven’t even known him for a full two weeks, I met him once IRL, and I have talked to him all of twice on the phone. I shouldn’t be like this, but I guess Rivkah was right about one thing: she said “He has a tendency to change his mind about people he likes. I don’t want you to get hurt.”*
[sub]*This is an approximation of what she said. It’s not verbatim.[/sub]