Wild Doves suck. They’re out there every day, hassling us. Wearing their threatening leather jackets, smoking cigarettes, wolf-whisting at young girls, harassing pillars of the community, and pooping on innocent people.
Yesterday I ran into some dude, and he said he had something for me, if I could just wait. I couldn’t, I was waiting for a bus. But the dude came back in time, and handed me a package. It was labelled “Wild doves Repellent Unique Odor Keeps Wild doves Away.”
I can’t read the rest. It’s all in Japanese. But apparently this small package will keep the Wild doves away. I say one more good thing. Taxes paid, rent paid, no more Wild doves mugging me. Life is good!
Go ahead Dopers, figure this fun one out. I’m laughing my ass off. And scratching my head a little.
Well, the Japanese use the same word for “dove” and “pigeon,” so it kind of makes sense as a translation by someone who is not a native speaker of English. Add to that the presence of loads of pigeons at temples and parks in cities, and, well, some in Japan might see a need for such a product.
Japanese temples, castles, etc., sometimes have a large covered gate/entry in which pigeons find it amusing to congregate and poop on people. Think of it as an avian kill zone. I myself was such a victim once a long time ago, to the amusement of some little old Japanese man watching nearby, not to mention my future father-in-law and fiancee (being among the amused, not victims). Yeah, it’s always funny when the bird shits on someone else.
I’ve read about these guys. They start off by giving away a free atomizer of Wild Dove Repellent. Fast foward two years, and you’ll be robbing NaNa of her antique silver tea pot in order to get your fix of the way-more-potent Wild Flamingo repellant.