Women attract bears during certain times of the month.
Also, you can tell the time with your fist and the sun. Stretch your arm out and each fist above the horizon is (generally) an hour before or after sunrise/sunset. I got really good at this when I went on a canoe trip many many years ago.
I saw a commercial for one of those Nature Guy Survives in the Wild television shows, and the ad said something like, “A mother bear perceives anything between in it and its young as a threat, and wolves (or whatever animal) will instinctively chase anything moving fast.” Right. Stay the fuck out of the woods. Got it.
I wonder if the people writing this advice have ever actually been lost in the woods. 
Finding out which way is north is highly over-rated. I suppose the practical use is to avoid wandering in circles, but for that you need a method you can use slightly more often …
More practical, when seriously lost, is to either make for high ground to see the lay of the land, or conversely to follow a stream - it will eventually lead to a body of water (likely to have boaters on it, or at least offering a view which may help you to see where you are). Only problem with this is that walking along a stream can be very rough going.
Or, if anyone is looking for you, make yourself comfy and tend a smudge-fire.
OK, this is driving me nuts–where is this from? I remember it, but I can’t place it. Help!
ETA: never mind! loved that movie!
Hug a tree!
That’s my search and rescue association teaches kids in case they get lost. Basically, stay put.
This does NOT work with black bears, you better fight back.
Q: how can you tell the difference?
A: if you play dead and the bear eats you, it’s a black bear. If you fight back and it mauls you to death, it’s a grizzly.
Not proven, and the data doesn’t necessarily even suggest it. It’s commonly repeated and isn’t a bad precaution, but it’s probably not a significant factor.
http://www.yellowstoneparknet.com/travel_tips/bear_safety.php
Do you discount these sources?
“My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos”
Which wouldn’t be all that useful as I’m dying of explosive decompression.
I’ve sometimes wondered that too. I always wondered why I needed to find NORTH. I guess if I knew that I was south of a river or some other feature, I’d want to know which direction was which, but if I was lost in the Camp Fire Girl camp, knowing my directions wouldn’t help me in any way, I don’t think.
Now, granted, my lack of any direction sense is a source of great amusement to all who know me, but I usually don’t need to know where north is when I’m lost. I need to know where my home camp is, and I have no idea which direction it might be in.
I’m not sure that link says anything different then what I just said. While the precautions are a good idea, they apply to anything you have with you that has a strong odor. There doesn’t seem to be any need for menstruating women to restrict their backcountry travel in bear country.
From your link:
And
Grizzly scat has bells in it.
During orientation at the Biosphere, we were told that a Gila monster (among other things) will clamp on and not let go. One of the methods to get them to release was to submerge them in water. Keep in mind, the Biosphere about an hour into the desert north of Tuscon. Submerge in … water.
Never did find out if they added that in to have some fun with us temperate-climate folk, but did cross a 'monster once … wow.
I remember when it used to be “My Very Eccentric Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas”
Now it is “My Very Eccentric Mother Just Served us NOTHING”
You call it “decompression” in New York? That’s the price you pay for really good nachos.
Now, whut?
My wilderness tips: You can add additional warmth by putting on a second long-sleeved shirt, tucking the shirt in, and filling in between the two with leaves.
If you get that fire started, you can put some good-sized flat stones on the fire and let them heat through. They will keep you warmer while you sleep.
Snow is a good insulator too.
Laundry lint is my secret to this. Yes, laundry lint. It’s thin, it’s light, it’s flammable, and you usually have a metric ton of the stuff in your dryer.
Tripler
Use the laundry lint to get your kindling started.
Oh, true, true. It’s just kind of gross to have to put your used tampons in the food container!
Take the laundry lint, put it in an empty cardboard egg container, melt candle wax over the whole thing, then break them apart into individual fire starters. Once lit they will burn hot for a while, allowing you to get a fire started even with wet wood.
Thread seems to be drifting from the won’t need bit (unless all the great hints above are from those who would never set foot outside a hotel), so I’ll just echo the amazing power of laundry lint.
For those who don’t want to end up in a To Build a Fire situation, never never never head into the woods without a magnesiumblock. It doesn’t take up that much weight, and you can start anything – probably even fresh seaweed.
Magnesium is the tenth most abundant element in the universe (ninth in the periodic table, tenth if you count ignorance).
If I knew in advance I was going to be in a position I had only one match, instead of crafting elaborate firestarters, magnesium etc. I’d just bring more matches.
More useful is knowing what you can find to burn if you don’t have anything with you. Obviously if you can bring stuff with you, it won’t be a problem, any hardware store sells perfectly good firestarters.
There are two sure-fire firestarters easily found around here: most common is thin bits of dry birch-bark - burns much better than paper (which tends to smolder). Even after a rain, you can get dry bark by peeling off the damp outer layers.
Second and a bit more difficult to get is so-called “fatwood”, which is resin impregnated wood from old pine stumps. This is perfectly waterproof and will set even damp fuel on fire - many’s the time I’ve made a fire in the rain with fatwood. First shave thin bits, then use those to set a big piece on fire; use the fire to dry out other fuel for gradual burning. Fatwood burns so well you can even use it as a torch of sorts.
Only thing is that you should not cook over fatwood, as it makes a horribly greasy oily smoke that sticks to everything.