By the way, the actress playing the secretary is way hotter.
This. People don’t seem to realize it is all about the sub’s needs, desires, and limits. There is a certain amount of uncertainty as to exactly what is going to happen, that allows a sub to really enjoy the experience, but with the fundamental trust in the Dom(me)'s respect for their safeword. Safe, sane, and consensual!
A graphic I have seen on Facebook: “50 Shades of Grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be an episode of Criminal Minds.”
I haven’t read the books but it is pretty obvious she is going to convert him to vanilla love, not him convert her to BDSM. Same resolution as in Exit to Eden.
Check out the review in The New Yorker. Funniest review of a movie I recall.
About the irony of it coming out for Valentine’s Day:
He can have both.
There is a HUGE difference between the two: The Christian Domestic Discipline is basically nonconsensual. The wife has to submit to being spanked, whether she WANTS to be spanked or not, because that’s what her religious beliefs demand. Her feelings on the matter are NOT at issue. Whereas with BDSM the wife (or husband, it’s not gender-based, another big difference) only gets spanked if she WANTS to get spanked. If it’s not with her wholehearted approval and enjoyment, she gets no spanking. None! No soup for you!
there are variations in how people function and make agreements.
there are people who make an agreement to be a lifetime submissive.
some do that for psychological and/or sexual reasons they want to be immersed in a lifetime of submission. some do that for religious reasons they want to be immersed in a lifetime of submission.
there are also people who decide to do actions based on a per event basis.
If the people “doing it for religious reasons” are free to quit whenever they want, or to stop and ask “Could you ease up a bit?” that’s fine with me.
If they aren’t . . .
How Credible Is the Kink In ‘Fifty Shades of Grey?’ Our Sex Experts Weigh In.
https://www.yahoo.com/movies/fifty-shades-s-m-fact-check-112260127207.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma
Well, here’s the thing. Religious affiliations tend not to be just a matter of choice, like joining a chess club. People generally stay with the religion they are born into, which means that very often most of their family and friends are members of that religion. This can bring a huge amount of pressure on the woman to agree to being spanked for reasons that have a lot more to do with being accepted by her society. It’s not quite the same thing as someone freely engaging in spanking because they think it’s loads of fun and they enjoy it, even if it IS in a sense a choice, and we shouldn’t say it is, mmkay?
To clarify, let’s postulate that there is a religion called Excelsiorism that’s very popular in the US. And you are a member. You are a hetero male. Now one of the tenets of Excelsiorism is that all members of an Excelsiorism congregation have to suck the pastor’s cock. It’s an important part of the church’s teachings, and everyone you know, who are also members, assures you that it’s a very holy and wonderful thing and not at all the crass sexual act that people outside the religion say it is while they are pointing and laughing.
Would you say that’s the same thing as a gay man sucking cock because he gets pleasure out of it? Both are choices, after all.
Thing is, the 50SoG defeders are saying “oh, all you people critical of the boks are just anti-kink sex-haters” and two-thirds of the criticism is from people saying “look, this is actual fatual abuse, not becaue it’s BDSM, but because it’s abuse.” But the other third is from people like the Sinfest guy who really are anti-sex.
But it’s very insidious, because “50 Shades is about abuse [because Grey is an abuser]” looks a lot like “50 Shades is about abuse [because BDSM is abuse]”.
I’m pretty sure no one has emotionally abusive relationship fantasies. Even people who fantasize about being “non-consensually” fucked and beaten (in exactly the ways they find hot anyway) aren’t generally into being treated like dirt in more prosaic ways.
Like, it’s one thing to handwave away the lack of contraception and prophylaxis in erotica, it’s another to overlook the part where the heroine is not shown having any warm feelings toward the hero at all and being scared of him at best throughout.
Maybe. I prefer to take people at face value. Though you can learn all sorts of things about someone if you simply decide they’re spinning when they deny them.
Your tastes are your tastes, but I think you’re conflating two different meanings of “game-playing.” I play Settlers of Catan with my girlfriend, that doesn’t mean our relationship is built on manipulation.
Bumped because I can’t find a better place for it.
A charity bookstore is begging you - stop donating Fifty Shades of Grey!: Charity bookstore begs customers to stop donating their copies of 'Fifty Shades of Grey'