Will Ferrell's LAND OF THE LOST---- Kill it! Kill it now!

Cafe Society
1

This was a thread almost a year ago but I just learned of it and decided not to bump the other one. How did this abomination come to pass?

When he was smugly fratboyishly unfunny on SNL I said “Well, the show has to produce a suckfest once in every few years, been five years since the last one, these things gotta happen to get the bad blood out.” When he dug up and pissed on the corpse of Elizabeth Montgomery while juggling the skulls of Agnes Moorehead and both Darrins, it was hard, but when I heard it I wasn’t angry, I let it go, I said this is business and I didn’t ask who gave the order (and they at least had the good taste to not use the same characters). All the brainless farces and slapstick dumbasseries he made over the years, I figure, I don’t have to watch 'em and as for the fratboys and the Joe Sixpalins who’ll make them hits, let them lose their souls they’re animals anyway. And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I’m not a hard-hearted man, I actually liked parts of Talladega Nights, I really did.

But not Land of the Lost, now he’s gone too far. Somebody must now rid me of this turbulent hack. Brady Bunch as an updated broad comedy back in the '90s- it worked because the original was cheesy and campy and terribly written even though it had a decent budget, it deserved to be lampooned. Updating The Addams Family as a big budget comedy, as much as I loved John Astin and Carolyn Jones I have to admit Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston were as good as and in some ways improved on the original, and the humor was funnier in the 90s because they could get away with more. But not Land of the Lost.

Yes it was cheesy and campy, but only because of its budget, and the fact it was aimed at kids. There was real genius in that show. It was more imaginative than any children’s show on today, by far. Oh yeah it was obvious even to a 2nd grader that the caves were made of chicken wire and papier mache and the Sleestak Temple was just a still drawing, but they were working for $40 an episode or whatever, and today- hell today a talented 10th grader with PhotoShop and a Video Toaster could take those original cels and run with them. Yeah, I know that the whole Uncle Jack thing was bogus but what’s the alternative when Will left- would you rather your friend have a wooden leg or be dead? No contest- strap on Uncle Jack but limp on. And Enik… was there ever a character on live action 70s programming more complex? And the Pylons- I did my dead level damnedest to make one with a rock tumbler and a square candy box.

No, only touch this show if you can improve it, give it the budget it deserves, digitally animate the dinosaurs, show the multiple moons and the backs of your own heads through binoculars and the crawling through the clouds and into the ground up brown.

Instead, look how they massacred my boy. You broke my heart Ferrell!

Sid and Marty Kroft, if you’re still living, then a pox on you both, and if you’re not may Dante be brought out of retirement to design a circle just for you, preferably one with horny Sleestaks and crazed rebels who found a taser. And Ferrell… oh, Ferrell… I know you frigging don’t care about ruining this, I just want to know who approached you about it…

No words.

Well, I’ve many obviously, but, I’ll end here for a while.

2

Before watching the trailer I distinctly thought “That sounds terrible. But how bad could it be?”

After watching the trailer I had to admit, it looks much worse than I could have imagined.

3

Just let me get the other three knights, your majesty, and we’ll take care of it!

4

Hollywood just doesn’t understand what to do with a Will Ferrell. He actually serves a useful purpose. Ten minutes of Will Ferrell is great. But a hundred minutes of him is too much. It’s the difference between sprinkling some cinnamon in your oatmeal and eating a whole jar of it. So you put Will Ferrell in the movie as the comic relief and you give the lead to Luke Wilson or Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller or even Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jason Mewes.

5

Well, in Ferrell’s defense, Matt Lauer can suck it.

6

So far the only thing I’ve seen him in that I liked was Elf.

I probably won’t see this.

7

I always wonder, if you had a time machine and could go back, which would you prevent, Will Ferrell’s movie career or the Holocaust? Toss of a coin really, isn’t it?

8

I agree. They should have played this movie totally straight.

-FrL-

9

I have the series on DVD and my kid is finally at an age where he’s wanting to watch them with me. The first few episodes are pretty bad between meeting Chaka and Dopey and putting up with Holly and Will fighting, but then the episode ‘The Stranger’ came on and we first meet Enoch and despite the painfully, LAUGHABLY crossbows used by the Sleestaks, there was some fantastic writing in that little story. I am still giddy to get to the pylon episodes with him and seeing former basketball great Bill Laimbeer in the credits as a sleestak is just that much more cool.

That said, and while the movie does look like an abortion, there is still plenty of material that could have been made fun of, like the aforementioned Dopey and feeble weapons. It’s too bad the writers apparently never watched the show beyond the opening credits.

10

I have never even seen the original *Land of the Lost *and I still agree.

11

It’s so liberating to find a community of like-minded people who share my distaste for Will Ferrell’s movies. There are times when I feel so alone.

12

As I started the previous thread to rant about this, I can only agree with the sentiment. I ranted myself out back then, now I am just numb and gritting my teeth for the impending TV saturation of the trailers for this abomination.

But it is still fun to say “Sleestak”. If I say it 3 times can I made Doper Sleestak appear?
Sleestak
Sleestak
Sleestak!

13

If they’re going to play the movie for laughs, Bill Laimbeer should have been given a cameo role. But I see the producers weren’t even that clever.

14

I actually have a serious bump/point on my skull back there that I’ve always referred to as my sleestak point. Doest that count?

If/when I go seriously bald its gonna have to be a rug or become a jew, because my freaky non smooth skull will not look good uncovered !

15

I’d disagree just to say that Will was excellently cast as a (mostly) non-humor role in ‘Stranger Than Fiction’.

I would defend further… But I just watched that trailer. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. :frowning:

16

:watches video:

Oh, relax. It’s not the real Land of the Lost. It’s a parody Land of the Lost that may spur someone to check out the original, & someday someone will do a new version of a Hollow Earth series (LOTL, Pellucidar, Skartaris, etc.) that will be pretty cool.

I liked, “It’s a walnut!”

17

Will there be any Asscock in the movie?

18

Probably won’t see it? PROBABLY?!? Get some help, man, before it’s too late!

19

Nitpick: (probably needless spoiler, but anyway…)The Land of the Lost was NOT a subterranian world. It was an artificially created bubble-universe about 20-30 miles in circumference (including up and down!).

Some posts from a more recent thread (The travesties, the shams, and the mockeries-remakes) :

20

No, you probably saw the trailer on a nice safe computer screen. I, on the other hand, had to experience all that suck on a 40 foot movie theater screen. Luckily, it was followed by the trailer for “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” which gave me goosebumps.