Mechanical engineer William Staub, who brought the treadmill into homes and gyms across the country starting in the late 1960s, has passed away at 96.
Airports with treadmills for runways have temporarily stopped running them as a tribute, allowing planes to finally take off.
I’m sorry to hear that, but at least he died of natural causes. I read in his obit that he once conveyed to reporters that he suffered from a long belt of depression. Apparently he felt he was never getting anywhere in life, that everyday he was just going through the motions. I’m glad he lived long enough to see his invention take off.
Who’s the guy who invented the belt that that wraps around your butt and is driven by a motor on a pedestal, and all it does is vibrate the shit out of you?
Is he dead yet? He should dead first.
But will Staub’s soul be able to fly away to heaven if it’s on a treadmill?
Allow me to convey my deepest condolences to his family.
I hope that during the cremation, when they start up the belt to carry his mortal remains into the oven, the coffin just stays put instead. 
I tried to find information on funeral services, but all I got was the runaround.
So basically all he did was watch “The Jetsons,” and think, “I could make one of those.”
No matter where you go, there you are.