I’m with Stella on the closed butt cheeks making things a bit more difficult. I don’t have a particularly large bottom, either. I would also think the hirsute nature of that region on most men would add to the problems associated with standing.
I once saw a website devoted entirely to debating the proper usage of toilet paper, i.e., folding or crumpling?
Now I wonder if there is any correlation between folding/crumpling and standing/sitting.
It is also interesting that sitters have managed to present reasons why sitting makes more sense, whereas standers have not yet. Why is that?
male. sitting. between. It never occurred to me, either, that anyone performed this function standing up.
As to how to get the last few drops so as not to spot your trousers- the Playboy Advisor answered the question a few years ago and the technique works. I haven’t had a “drop spot” since. The mechanics of it aren’t hard to figure out if you’ve got the correct equipment.
Humm, wiping while standing UP??? Sheesh, I’d end up with excrement all over!
Sitting, lifting one cheek off the throne and reaching around; well rather behind the up-lifted cheek and then proceeding to wipe. Usually three separate repeats of the same procedure. Oh yes, I am a male.
P.S. If there are baby wipes available I am a very happy man!
Female, reformed stander, now a sitter, from behind.
(I cannot believe I just typed that.)
It gets worse. For eighteen years and three months I had no inkling (absolutely no inkling at all) that people wiped sitting down. I stood, and no one ever told me different. Then my mom and I were driving to college, and I made a comment about how everyone would know I was making dookie, which embarrassed me, in the public bathrooms. She said, well, unless you’re a guy, you do both sitting down, and I replied with, “But what about wiping?” She nearly swerved off the road, and we ended up laughing for a good half hour. The best explanation we could reach was that when I was potty-training, she wiped me standing up, and so I was trained to stand.
Anyway, I got to school and the stalls were very short; when sitting, my knees touched the doors. So I did it sitting, and it was much better. Didn’t have to look at anything, smell anything, and my cheeks were conviently spread. So sitting down it is.
FTR, unless you get really messy with your crap, it doesn’t get “all over” when you stand. I never had a problem with it anyway. It’s not like you stand and shit gets flung at all corners; if it’s empty, nothing is going to come flying out. And the whole smearage thing - never a problem either. I’m sickenly curious about people who end up with a lot of crap on their cheeks; how does that happen? Are you the same people who wipe for nine hours and 11 flushes?
I reach behind, and again, I don’t see why anyone would do it the other way. If you go through the legs, you’re likely to wipe the stinky on your “block and tackle” as you draw forward.
Though I can see how it would be easier to proofread that way.
[hijack]How do blind people know when they’re finished wiping?[/hijack]
Wiping whilst standing?!?!? That is the true mark of a madman. I’m willing to bet that John Wilkes Booth, Sirhan Sirhan and Mark Chapman all wiped while standing.
Seriously, though, the very concept of Wiping While Standing[sup]TM[/sup] never even occurred to me. The mechanics of it boggle my mind. Is this something you WWS[supTM[/sup] (Wipers While Standing) were taught by your parents?
For the record, I’m a chick and I reach though my legs to wipe after, uh, performing number two. I either fold or wrap the TP around my hand, too. I never crumple (one miscalculation and you’ve got a gap which can lead to poopy hands - ewwwwww).
I don’t have a cite or reference, but I do remember that it was written in response to a question from a guy who was going to be in a formal wedding and wearing gray trousers. He was afraid that he’d go the bathroom and leave a spot on his trousers and then have to stand up in the church and have everyone say to their pew-mates “Hey, look at the usher. He dribbled in his pants.”
The technique: After finishing your business, grasp your appendage and slowly (but not too slowly, we don’t want this to escalate into something you may get arrested for)run your finger along the underside while applying slight pressure. It forces the remaining urine from your urethra. A shake or two and you are now sure to be spotless.
In retrospect, I can’t believe I just wrote that, but what the hell.
I have tried said Playboy technique and it does not work for me. I am destined to dribble, I suppose.
And, for all of you who doubt my superior through the legs style, I can do this half asleep and drunk without hitting the water or getting poo poo on my nuts. I think that you have to be a TP folder, not a crumpler. Do your business, and as you’re coming forward, give it an extra fold to make sure all material is covered. Then bring it out to the light of day for inspection.
Also, I am a HUGE fan of the cottonelle moist wipes. mmmm…fresh…
Also a squat while wiping. Why? Because I am a fat man, and fitting my hand in there is rather difficult, especially in small public bathrooms. At home, plenty of room - so I can do it sitting.
(…and no, I can’t believe I’m posting to this thread eitehr…)
Despite the horrified gasps from the sitters (and boy was I careful typing that word) there is a rationale for standing. I’m not saying you’ll agree, but here it is.
There are some very delicate tissues and membranes involved. The entrance to the anus itself, the tissue just inside the entrance, and the skin immediately surrounding it over the sphincter muscle, are all very delicate.
Sitters have fuller access to this area, which they would consider a good thing in terms of cleanliness and hygiene. However, some wipers try to be ultra-clean, and wipe over-zealously. This can lead to irritation of some or all of the afore-mentioned tissues, which can lead to various problems.
Standers share the same desire to be clean and hygienic, but because they have marginally less access to the actual entrance to the anus, they are less likely to cause irritation or inflammation.
In other words, by standing we can get perfectly clean enough in terms of cleanliness, health and hygiene. But we are affording a degree of protection to a sensitive areas which can easily be irritated.
That’s the theory, as explained to me by various medical students and medically qualified people. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you do so long as you are clean, hygienic and healthy.
Sitting, through the legs. No problems with either - you don’t have to drag the t.p. up to your navel, so I’ve not had any, uh, infection problems.
Standing? What the hell? Maybe that’s what my son’s been doing - laundry has been HELL recently. Good ol’ Engine Number Two has been running through his shorts. I’ll have to retrain the boy.
I’ve been giggling like a schoolgirl reading this thread, and people are beginning to doubt my sanity.
**And, for all of you who doubt my superior through the legs style, I can do this half asleep and drunk without hitting the water or getting poo poo on my nuts. **
I just laughed out loud reading “poo poo on my nuts” - which is bad since I am working on a discharge letter ( to fire someone - not that kind or THAT kind of discharge).
Me I wipe sitting down. And how you do this is lean up to the right(left handed ya know) then do the swipe.
Now at the airport I have learned not to this. Because everytime you lean up the toilet flushes automatically and you get the boude’(sp) effect. All except there is not enough water pressure to properly wash the extra you know crap off so now you are messy and wet. So at the airport I wipe from the front.
I have wiped standing up like in he country or something. I don’t want no bug or snake biting my lilly white butt.
I’m so glad I have an office with a door because that was laugh-out-loud funny! I failed to think about the Nut Factor[sup]TM[/sup] for men! Maybe that’s why my hubby wipes from behind…
And I agree with the point that men should still dab (I think wiping would be a little harsh) after doing number one.
“The answer to any sociology question can be best summed up with ‘some do, some don’t.’”
Thanks everyone for your feedback.
By the end of work yesterday, the only responses had been from three sitters, so I went home feeling like a complete caveman. I was so relieved to discover this morning that there are some standers, both male and female, out there!
Just lean forward slightly, feet shoulder-width apart, and think happy thoughts!
Actually, I do wipe sitting down occasionally. If I’ve had a particularly liquid episode, I’ll give a few sitting wipes to clean up first. Also, when I use the bidet (with these wonderful new Japanese toilets, you just push a button and a little hose comes out from under the rim) I wipe to dry off before I stand (although toilets with blow dryers are becoming more popular).
