Mood is a weird thing. You can have a great day and something comes out of left field and ruins it. We have a lot of threads about that. But sometimes, you’re wandering around in your usual/default mood and you’re suddenly amused, consoled, or actually LOL tickled. On my recent trip to Texas, I was killing time in a gift-shop and came across a pair of “humor” greeting cards that tickled me. The first was especially apropos after the Halloween Holiday Weekend movie marathon.
“IF YOU EVER SEE ME RUNNING, PLEASE KILL WHATEVER’S CHASING ME.”
(credit to Cloud Nine / Redback cards)
But the second is now my go-to for any really bad day:
“If you ever feel like a failure, just remember that T-Rexes evolved into pigeons and there is no way you can fuck up that badly.”
(Credit to Aaron Gilles and Ohh Deer cards)
[ to all my fellow Pedants, yes, I know that the above isn’t even close to being factually accurate, but the sentiment is what amuses me!]
Anyway, figured most of us could use an extra smile or smirk, especially on a Monday. And I’m nowhere near witty enough to have created them, so I had to give credit where credit is due (and I bought the cards). Feel free to share other uplifting (ruefully or otherwise) sayings, quotes or cracks that make a day a bit easier to tolerate!
You know those Successories motivational posters that you see in some offices, the ones with the pretty picture & one large word (teamwork, attitude, etc.) & a sentence about it. There has long been a 180° site of Demotivators
It’s not a recent wisecrack (being over 250 years old) but I’m listening to the Prime Time podcast about John Wilkes (the 18th century British politician, free speech advocate, and namesake of Lincolns assassin) famously an acerbic wit, and fond of biting comeback. My favourite one, that made me LOL this morning, was this …
A fellow politician remarked that he didn’t know if Wilkes would meet his end at the gallows or dying of pox (syphilis), he responded by saying “that will depend on whether I embrace your morals or your mistress”
I used to get a Demotivator calendar every year from a relative and I would hang it at work. As far as I know, nobody ever understood them for what they were.
A few of my favorites:
Much work is still to be done before we can announce that we have not made any progress
It’s always darkest just before it goes pitch black
Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid
Not sure how well this works outside the UK. There are certain bits from the works of Rudyard Kipling which have worked their way into the national psyche - for example, the poem “If” begins
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;…
(The poem ends:
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
- You get the idea.)
However, I prefer the more realistic version:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you - then you’ve failed to fully understand the situation.
