Growing up back East there was this odd expression whenever one of the kids got a butch/crewcut someone would rub what was left of his hair on his head and recite either: “Wish I had a watermellon,” or “Wish cotton was a monkey”. I’m guessing it’s something derragutory in nature but I’ve never been able to determine the origin of these odd phrases.
“I wish cotton was watermelon” is an old line from the Little Rascals/Our Gang shows. At least, according to my mom it is.
I feel the need to try and verify that by searching the net now.
It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that a watermelon is bald and kind of dome-shaped like a head would it? No, that would be too obvious… Damn. 
::turning magazine sideways::
“WITH A MELON??” :eek: 