I generally don’t wish misfortune on others. Maybe I take it too seriously. But there are some people that just need a really good dose of poetic justice.
GRAFFITI VANDALS: May the next piece of spray-paint “art” in your neighborhood be on your cellphone, your computer, your car, or your MP3 player. I deeply and sincerely wish to see your property damaged or destroyed instead of some other poor victim. If you ever grow up and get a house, I hope its exterior will be filled with insults, random obscenities, and “tags” from people you don’t like.
LITTERERS: May the next tire (or foot) punctured by broken glass be yours. May you be the one to trip over some random trash flung from a car window and land in someone’s discarded gum–and may that gum insinuate itself thoroughly into your hair. May the next thing burned up by a discarded cigarette be your home or car.
LAZY DOG-WALKERS, may the next thing you step in be a steaming pile-o-poop.
I am so tired of cleaning up after your (blameless) pooches. Look, I don’t have a dog!!! Carry a baggie!
May the next person to throw a “trucker bomb” (sorry, good name for it, although I realize it is rarely truckers who do this) in one of my gardens find himself the recipient of a week’s worth of TomCat pee on his newspaper.
(I work in municipal gardens - I probably have to dispose of 20 of these per week…)
Well, if you’re getting paid to drive a truck, and have various deadlines and restrictions, it becomes important to not waste time stopping for bathroom breaks, so you just piss in a bottle while driving, then dispose of them whenever you get the chance. Of course, many other people do this, but it’s particularly associated with truckers.
I also wish that pig parents who leave disposable diapers filled with nastyness everywhere wake up to find their beds filled with *other *kid’s used diaper. Inside out. :mad:
I further wish that pigs who dump their full ashtrays out on the pavement wake up to a bed of butts- and not the good kind. :mad:
I’m with you on the ashtrays. I can almost understand the person who looks around and can’t find a place to stash their butt. There’s just no conceivable excuse for dumping an ashtray on the ground, though.
