With Apologies to Abbott and Costello...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of
the Communist Party in China.

HU’S ON FIRST?
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow’s name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?

Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That’s the man’s name.

George: That’s who’s name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.

Condi: That’s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don’t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food
in the Middle East?

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Very Good Indeed!!

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Johnny Carson did a routine alomst exactly like this back when he was running The Tonight Show. In the skit, Carson played Ronald Reagan, and he had the conversation with an aide. The interesting thing is that hardly anybody knew who Hu was in those days – but I guess the name was too good to pass up. They used Arafat, too, of course, and James Watt (“Watt’s his name?” “Yassir”.)

It’s possible Sherman came up with it independently, but the similarity is awfully close.

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I remember that Carson sketch well… though I thought the best variation on this bit was in the late 60s or early 70s, and involved an all day rock music festival.

The lineup was something like, “Who’s on first, Guess Who’s on second, Yes is on third…”

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for astorian:

http://www.harryshearer.com/clips/who.ram

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re: the Carson sketch

All I remember is this exchange (Reagan was to meet James Watt at the YMCA)

“Who?”
“Watt.”
“Where?”
“Y.”

:smiley: [sup]– Classic![/sup]

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[ParochialAussieHijack] Isn’t this supposed to be the new title of Bob Ellis’ autobiography? [ /ParochialAussieHijack]