With Eutychus' permission, I humbly present Brain Games #5: Burma Shave

For hosting our prank
This imbecile
Would like to thank
Our dear Cecil

To prevent this thread’s
Dissolution
Here will I tread
Evolution

What other topic
Would prick up ears
And bring on epic
Reponses here

Verses this fine
Causing mind dance
Something divine?
Or random chance?

Which came first,
Chick or egg?
Answers please,
Don’t make me beg.
BURMA-SHAVE

This thread’s a wonder
Yes, it’s true
Eleven posters
But pages two?
BURMA-SHAVE


And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

The first egg-layer:
a dinosaur
then chicks evolved
and laid some more.

Did chicks evolve?
Not all, I feel.
Some still watch
Ally McBeal.


Back off, man. I’m a scientist.

The laughs were real
The jingles swell
I wish you all
A fond farewell
BURMA-SHAVE


And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

I too am,
Out of here,
On my way,
For a beer.

I’ll leave this for,
You, my friend,
I’d rather drink,
than bartend


Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ally McBeal, I must say.
Is a show thats really grossa.
Its a good way to make young girls
pick up Anorexia Nevosa
BURMA-SHAVE

Here’s another
For the mix
We can call it
Stupid poet tricks.

BURMA SHAVE!


This space for rent.

However, in Tennessee, it is apparently legal to rub dead squirrels upon unsuspecting schoolgirls.

Folks know not
To drink and drive
So pass the keys
And keep alive!

BURMA-SHAVE
– Sylence


And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.

SterlingNorth’s
too shy to try
a rhyme to put forth
and Submit a Reply

Burma-Shave

Now Sterling,
Don’t yourself berate
Says Catrandom (as usual
weighing in late)
Burma-Shave

Catrandom

I do not know
To rhyme quite well.
But many of yours
Do ring my bell.
Burma-Shave

-Pix, abashedly.

Wow, I was on a Burma Shave ditty kick a while back ( during a long cold winter) and wanted to do one on our (private drive/dirt road) street to get the idiots to slow down.Espcially the gd garbarge trucks who are ruining the road, but I digress.
I came up with a couple pretty clever ( I must say) ones and CANNOT FIND THEM . ARGH.

I shall have to rattle my skull and see if I can duplicate genius twice in my lifetime.

Meanwhile, a lame attempt:

To cold to stay out.
Get outta the wind.
We sat in the house
Shaving our chin.
Burma Shave
(Yes, it’s a rip off/hat tipper to Dr. Suess. I have a toddler, bite me.)

Shirley Ujest
When you tell us to bite.
Garbage men will see
and it won’t look quite right.
BURMA-SHAVE

Grnning at many posts
Of Uke,Flo and UncleBeer,
yet, wondering to myself
Shouldn’t TennHippie be here?


“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
(__)
\/-------\ | |-----| |
…c.c…c.c…

How could I forget?
To young to realize!
Burma Shave is too old-
and never seen by my eyes!

BURMA SHAVE

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
(__)
\/-------\ | |-----| |
…c.c…c.c…

'Tis queer
But true:
In Gay Paree
The faygelehs
Wear no goatee.
Burma Shave

If your mouth should
Fill up with hair
Note
You can use it
Anywhere
Burma Shave

Get your face smooth
As all sweet heck
Then get thee to
A discotheque
Burma Shave

It’s mighty easy
To sit right here
And type a ditty
That doesn’t rhyme.

Burma Shave.


“My hovercraft is full of eels.”