That’s quite the Freudian penis you made there. 
I’ve gone for the Brer Rabbit reverse psychology approach. I have spent years trying to convince my wife that I really don’t enjoy sex, so that when I annoy her, she will punish me by making me fulfill my marital duties. I figure that I will annoy her significantly more often on a day-to-day basis than I could seduce her - and I can annoy her by just breathing, whereas seduction takes considerably more effort and cost.
It’s not working :smack:
Si
I am accused of it all the time by my Mig, but I’m not doing it as punishment. I’m just not in the mood. That’s all it is. I don’t like doing it when I’m not in the mood. If he’d do something that maybe GOT me in the mood it might be different, but asking, “Are you gonna give me some sex tonight?” is not going to get me there. And then mumbling, “Maybe I’ll find someone else to have sex with since you don’t want it” is only going to make matters worse. He should know that by now. I know he’s not serious, but it’s horribly manipulative and downright mean to say. But at least I recognize it and don’t let it get to me. I just roll my eyes and tell him while he’s out, find someone to wash his smelly socks and cook his dinner.
He is a good man. He is just the most unromantic fella I’ve ever been with, but we’ve been together over six years so he’s doing something right.
She agreed to stop doing that, because what happened was that I would agree to her demands, and then not do them because I was pissed that she would use sex as a negotiating tool.
We both agreed that that was a vicious cycle, so we stopped it.
This. If I wanted to have sex but decided to “punish” my SO by witholding, I would be punishing myself too. What’s the point?
I used to argue with my ex about this issue. He became controlling and manipulative, lied about issues big and small to avoid responsibility for what he had done, was fiscally irresponsible, verbally and emotionally abused my son and me, refused to help with housework; and then expected me to pretend to want to have sex with him (note: he didn’t care if I really DID want to have sex with him, he just wanted me to act like I did).
He had destroyed the emotional connection and intimacy between us that made me marry him to begin with, and then decided that I must be witholding sex intentionally because he could not understand that I did not want to have sex with him. And could not understand why I divorced him.