Of course, mine is the correct one. If the rest of you don’t mind the FSM flipping his middle noodley appendage at you, it’s your problem. Mock if you dare, but remember the Noodle Incident? 
Wait- Calvin was a FSM disciple???
False equivalency. Perpetuated by a common “name” (Christian).
I’ll restate.
OK.
I’m not surprised then. So?
Problem with that is, we don’t believe you.
See, now you aren’t supposed to be able to label him a bigot because… well, we skipped a step where we were all hit on the head and forgot what he was saying.
He’s a bigot with a really, really good reason… or something like that. So all the people who might be offended that he’s disgusted by them, should just be tolerant of his disgust.
And he just won’t accept anything less!
Are you serious? You don’t think canned responses to ‘prove it’ were discussed in Evangelizing 101? Your position requires mountains of data, centuries of acquired human understanding. Theirs requires handy quotes from their god book and intentionally misleading data and a myopic understanding of the world they live in.
Even if they were listening it would take months to explain, all the while they get to talk to you about their faith while your Cheerios get warm and mushy.
“If you don’t get off my property I’m calling the police” is all the time and effort I feel they deserve.
Join the club. 
You’ve got it backwards. Those of us who are unconcerned with homosexuality aren’t in a club; we’ve nothing to unite us in our apathy. It’s the Christians who blather incessantly about gay sex who are in an exclusive club full of longing, dwelling, pondering, pontificating, imagining, envisioning, obsessing, and fantasizing members who consider the positions, the possibilities and the wherefore and how-to of gay sex. Mmm… that gay, gay sex.
Thirteen warning shots? That guy must be pretty patient
“Get off my porch! I’m warning you!”
BANG
“I’m serious y’all.”
BANG
“Don’t make me tell you again.”
BANG
“Don’t litter up my yard with pamphlets!”
BANG
“And don’t wake me up from my afternoon nap.”
BANG
“Plus you ignored my ‘No Solicitors’ sign, that was another warning right there!”
BANG
“I don’t think you are taking me at my word, so this is another warning.”
BANG
“I’m warning you, if you go running around like that you’re going to fall and skin your knee.”
BANG
“And stop that screaming, I’m warning you - this is a nice quiet neighborhood and you’re going to wake people up.”
BANG
“You know, I’ve got carpal tunnel syndrome and if I aggravate it pulling this trigger I’m warning you that I will sue your butts!”
BANG
“OK, I’ve got to reload so give me a sec - you better not try anything or I warn you I will get pissed.”
click-click BANG
“That’s better…where were we? Um…you better lead clean lives and go to church or you’ll regret it! That’s a warning!”
BANG
“You posted in the wrong forum and called a moderator a poopyhead, this is an Official Warning!”
BANG
More like early Sunday morning, which is why they deserve the shark pool.
That’s mighty kind of you!
I think the funniest part of “By your own words you have condemned yourselves” is that I am not in fact a Witness Hater. Of all the religious solicitors that come by my house, the Jaydubs are my favorite. They generally come by once every couple of months around mid-afternoon, they are dressed very nicely and they are polite. When I say, “No thanks, I’m Catholic” they tell me to have a good day and they move on. They don’t try to “catch me out” for my beliefs like the Baptists kid who was all, “Oh, you’re Catholic? And just how do you think you’re getting to heaven?” (Dude, I know you want me to say by worshipping Mary or some such thing so you can tell me I’m going to hell.)
I am not a Jehovah’s Witness. I find their beliefs bizarre and contradictory. They have predicted the coming of Christ Jesus several times, and guess what? It didn’t happen. They do not believe in gay rights, abortion, or blood transfusions (even if it’s necessary for sacing a life). And I never got around their belief that Jehovah is God is Jesus is a god, but there’s only one God, but Jesus is a god, yada, yada, yada.
Chasing them with a sword is funny. Shooting at them is not.
Never officially, because we weren’t sure. As such, we’re currently of the mind that it’s *soon *™, but don’t know when.
Believe in them? Sure we do. We just believe that they’re wrong, because God told us so, in the Bible.
I think you’ve got that confused with Catholics, or some other Trinitarian religion. We’re definitely not. Jehovah is God, Jesus is his son. The holy spirit is Jehovah’s “active force” - how we perceive him getting stuff done in the physical world. (him being a spirit and all) That’s how we read the Bible.
Both very true!!
Is it Shark Week already??
Personally, I’ve only ever encountered polite and nice Jehovah’s Witnesses. The ones who came to my door were great.
I worked with a nice Nicaraguan guy who gave me a tip for learning languages. The Watchtower is published in Spanish and a hundred other languages, and it’s easy reading. “It’s not,” he assured me, “that it’s dumbed down. It’s written to be accessible to a broad audience”. Words of wisdom right there. It may be propaganda, but it’s linguistically educational propaganda.
I think I love you. That’s hilarious!
simster replied: pretty much so, except that the “century” bit, supposed to be a God’s day or 1,000 years.
Will just say: simster – thanks.
Read John 1:1 is your own New World Translation Bible: In [the] beginning the Word was, and the Word was with God, and the Word was a god.
The Word (Christ Jesus) was “a god.” Every other translation was “the Word was God.”