A woman in Washington state fell headfirst into a pit toilet while trying to retrieve her phone. Fortunately it still worked and she could use it to call 911 to be rescued.
I’m reminded of the Jack Handey quote: “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they’re gone.”
I once lost a pair of spendy, fire resistant race gloves down a pit toilet at a race track. I just had to laugh at my own stupidity. I then sat down and peed on the gloves. They were gone.
After the weekend, I was telling the family what happened (they were tucked in the back waistband of my pants, and suddenly no longer) and laughing. My father, penny pincher CPA that he was, was furious with me for not trying to retrieve them. Well Dad, you see, some pit toilets are deeper than others… 
Man, I thought I’d been having a bad day. Kinda feel better about my own existence now.
New motto: “No matter how shitty your day’s been, at least you didn’t plummet headfirst into actual shit.
Yet.”
Anyone pleased with not falling into what I assume is an outhouse pit should first be pleased for not aiming their body head first into one.
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Seven old ladies were locked in the lavatory,
They were there from Monday till Saturday,
And nobody knew they were there.
Man, I’m just getting a new phone. When they ask for the old phone so they can transfer the SIM card info I’ll tell them where it is.