Woman wants me to shave my bird and get a penile implant

[black_rabbit]

You have to be very careful with those implants… put one meant for a European in an African bird, and everything goes all to hell…

[Eutychus]

*Originally posted by intarweb man *
**I hope she is just teasing me and not just making fun of me. **

If she’s not, I’m sure others will be along soon to do that for her.

[siberia]

*Originally posted by lieu *
**The implant’s gonna fuck up it’s aerodynamics. **

That’s the funniest damn thing I’ve read all week. To bad I’m too shy and retiring to use it as a sig line.

[Giraffe]

I wonder if intarweb man and his shaved bird are posting from an interweb machine?

[born_too_late]

Is that an African swallow or a European swallow?

[El_Cid_Viscoso]

Agree with Sauron, but FYI, a shorn peepee yields fellatio in extremis.

[Dijon_Warlock]

Are you sure it’s a swallow? Maybe it’s a spit.

[intarweb_man]

I knew this thread was a bad idea.

I think I’ll just get her when she’s drunk again. I almost had her last weekend.

[Ethilrist]

*Originally posted by black455 *
**You have to be very careful with those implants… put one meant for a European in an African bird, and everything goes all to hell… **

“Bloody hell… they’ve gone back to metric…”

[elf6c]

*Originally posted by Binarydrone *
**Schoooooooools out for summer! **

No kidding- mark me down as :dubious: on this one.

[intarweb_man]

so I’m walking past her house this morning with a bag of beer and I see her washing her car in this tight little track outfit…so of course I cat call her and this old lady turns around and says “Oh! I thought you were whistling at me”

of course I said “I was” …she kind of hurried up her pace a bit.

[Skywatcher]

I’m not sure what the hell is going on with intarweb man but he sure is amusing.

[pizzabrat]

One time, my mother’s breast was poking out of her shirt and she didn’t know. I thoght she was doing it on purpose to be funny.

[lieu]

It is funny the first time but when that second one falls out it gets kinda old.

[danceswithcats]

I wouldn’t mind the suggestion of penile implants if they have nice foliage and don’t require lots of maintenance-that’s why I tend to go for perennials, you know. The thought of a shaved bird is an odd one-my conure would object a lot, I’d expect. Sam is quite lovely in full feather, so why would I want to shave him?

[Bippy_the_Beardless]

Well thay have those featherless chickens maybe that would satisfy her.

[FranticMad]

What is a bag of beer, how much does it cost, and where can I get one?

I think any veterinarian would be able to both shave the fowl and give it an implant.

[blowero]

*Originally posted by intarweb man *
**so I’m walking past her house this morning with a bag of beer and I see her washing her car in this tight little track outfit…so of course I cat call her and this old lady turns around and says “Oh! I thought you were whistling at me”

of course I said “I was” …she kind of hurried up her pace a bit. **

Here in the States, beer comes in bottles. I’ve heard of a box of wine, but never a bag of beer.

[Bruce_Daddy]

This is the funniest goddamn thread ever. I hate having to cover my face at work like I’m tired so they won’t know I’m laughing. This really got me:

*Originally posted by Giraffe *
**I wonder if intarweb man and his shaved bird are posting from an interweb machine? **

And also

bag of beer

(tears are rolling down my face)

What the shit is that?

Bwhaaaa!!!

[lieu]

…a bag of beer

Had the little old lady been drinking?