Ten words – “If you aren’t going to answer, don’t place an ad.”
I’m relativesly shy when it comes to meeting women. Not socially inept, not ugly, not otherwise undatable … just shy. Therefore, I often use online personal ads as a way of meeting women. I figure “if she’s got an ad up, she’s looking to meet someone.”
I don’t answer every ad out there, nor do I limit my responses to those whose profiles show pictures of attractive women. I don’t answer ads where it’s obvious a woman is seeking someone who’s not like me (i.e. six digit income, six pack abs, six feet tall). Maybe one a week, maybe every other week tops. I don’t send out generic form letters – I spend about 30 to 45 minutes sending off a witty, spell-checked response, describing what I saw in the ad that interested me, and telling a little bit about myself. No me, me, me; no perverted talk; no romantic cliches – just what I liked about her, why I think we’re a good match, a bit about me, and a somewhat flattering picture of me with my adorable dog.
Do I get any responses to the letters I send out? Nope. The evidence of my wordsmithing ends up in the bit bucket, unceremoniously made a victim of a button showing an icon that looks like a trash can.
I know women get lots of responses to their ads, sometimes hundreds. Why is it that my time is seen as expendable – that I’m not worthy of the minute or two it takes to write a short message to say “no thanks?” With all the six digit income earning, six pack ab posessing guys out there, is there hope for a normal guy like me without resorting to sending off an e-mail to Svetlana from Minsk? Why do women bother placing personals if they aren’t even going to read them, not even going to respond to them?
