OK, In my search for that special someone, I signed up for a personal service. I can browse to my hearts content, but replying to an ad costs a small amount (~.75).
Responding to someone’s paid reply is always free.
So the question is, if you have placed a personal ad, do you reply to all your responses, even if it is just a “no thanks”? You can probably guess the reason for asking, I have replied to perhaps 15 ads with not one response.
The replies were all short and to the point, no lewd innuendo or weirdness. I only replied to ones that met my criteria and vice versa (I’m paying for these, no sense sending notes to people who have obviously ruled me or some characteristic applicable to me out)
Am I wrong to expect at least the most cursory note indicating that they were received? It has been 10 days for most and quite a bit longer for some…
It’s not enough to get me back to going to bars, but more than enough to start harboring unkind stereotypical assumptions about women who place personals-tell me I’m wrong, ok?
Most women I’ve encountered in the online dating scene don’t bother emailing someone back if they’re not interested. I think the main reason is, women who have personals up can get a TON of email and it’s just got to be difficult to respond to all the people that don’t meet their criteria. It’s a little rude, but I can understand their situation. I don’t think it’s a man-vs.-woman gender issue - it’s a question of logistics.
One question - do you send a picture with your response? I’ve talked to women who say that they flat-out don’t bother emailing back anyone who hasn’t included a picture.
I thought of that too, Krunk, but of the ads I responded to, only one included a picture. There were several ads that specified a pic and those I didn’t respond to as I don’t have a online pic of myself.
I think your initial idea is the correct one. I was talking to my ex and she is amazed at how easy it is for her to hook up with guys she has met in AOL(five good dates in two weeks- one looks to be a winner). She’s batting close to 1.000 and we came to the decision that is is much much easier for women looking for guys as they have what we want, so to speak
Ah well…I will stop wasting money on this. It’s not worth the effort and I don’t like the idea of my empty Inbox being a constant reminder of rejection.
My brother actually got me to try this. He’s married, but has set up accounts for a bunch of friends, dropped email bombs (as he calls them) for each, weeded through responses, IM’d, and set up dates (all posing as whatever “friend”)… basically, pimped (but for free), and he really seems to be effective. He just emails his friends a pic of the girl, and a few sentences about what they’ve talked about so far, and where/when to meet her, and the friend will take it from there.
His advice was that you have to lower your standards. I saw the responses I got to the ads he responded to on my behalf… these were not the most physcially appealing women. So, I think it really depends on how picky you are, and how persevering you are, and also what you’re looking for. Most of the ads I read seemed to have the “If you’re just looking to get laid, don’t bother responding” message, but from what I’ve seen with my brother and his friends, that’s exactly what winds up happening.
Thinking back four score years ago when I placed personal ads (through which I eventually met Mr.Mielikki), I seem to recall that I always responded to replies to my ad. However, I mentioned that I was a fat chick in my ad, so I didn’t get innundated with replies the way I think non-fat (or women who aren’t honest about it) are… but I could be mistaken. The service was free, too, which was nice.
There were one or two replies, now that I think of it, where the guy so obviously didn’t read my ad that I didn’t respond out of annoyance; fer instance I specified an age range and he was 20 years beyond it, or I’d said I was looking for an LTR and he was married looking for discreet whatevers.
