Women don't get it, and every guy does

[CrazyCatLady]

@Idlewild

I received a Halloween card today, hand made by a woman at work, that included a heart, little anime hamsters, Hello Kitty, a fairy, and butterflies, all on the outside. Then on the inside… fairies being murdered in violent sprays of red glitter glue by Hello Kitties wielding respectively a sword (I did not know you could get scrapbooking sword stickers) and a candy-apple being used as a bludgeon. The text inside the card reads “Hearts that Love are Always in Bloom”. I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a touching sentiment. I mostly liked the spray of glitter glue blood everywhere, and the ingenious use of the candy-apple sticker.

I could almost be tempted to take up scrapbooking. I begin to get the feeling that if there aren’t dinosaur and ninja stickers available, I could probably improvise.

I…I think I love this woman and want to not have her babies. At the very least, I’m intrigued by her views and wish to subscribe to her newsletter.

[Sigmagirl]

I am going to bake gingerbread ninjas this year. With little candy [del]hearts[/del] blow guns.

[Miss_Woodhouse]

My 5 year old daughter was drawing yesterday. She drew a zombie. She also wanted to know why they wear bandages and was slightly disappointed when I informed her that zombies weren’t real.

I don’t think this phenomenon is exclusive to boys, however, she may have been corrupted by her older brother.

[Shot_From_Guns]

MARS VENUS LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

I’d post more, but I’m afraid I have to run to the oven to get the pot roast out right this second, or I won’t have time to run a brush through my hair, pre-warm my husband’s armchair, and get a drink ready to hand to him the second he walks through the door.

:rolleyes:

[gigi]

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Idlewild

I received a Halloween card today, hand made by a woman at work, that included a heart, little anime hamsters, Hello Kitty, a fairy, and butterflies, all on the outside. Then on the inside… fairies being murdered in violent sprays of red glitter glue by Hello Kitties wielding respectively a sword (I did not know you could get scrapbooking sword stickers) and a candy-apple being used as a bludgeon. The text inside the card reads “Hearts that Love are Always in Bloom”. I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a touching sentiment. I mostly liked the spray of glitter glue blood everywhere, and the ingenious use of the candy-apple sticker.

I could almost be tempted to take up scrapbooking. I begin to get the feeling that if there aren’t dinosaur and ninja stickers available, I could probably improvise.

Now, THIS Halloween card makes sense to me!

(Although I still don’t understand why we need to give each other Halloween cards.)

[Edward_The_Head]

@Spoons

However, I see nothing wrong with a card that has a '57 Chevy, Indiana Jones, and John Maclean from Die Hard.

You misspelled 65 Mustang, but other then that a great card.

[Uosdwis_R.Dewoh]

All Christmas cards have ninjas in them. In fact, all greeting cards have ninjas on them. You just, you know, can’t see them.

Also. A kick ass Jesus is always good.

[Budista]

@Tastes_of_Chocolate

I was thinking more along the lines of Cthulu, zombies and Thomas the tank engine, but I suppose your 3 would do.

For some reason, immediately after reading your post I had a horrifying mental image of Cthulu’s face on Thomas’ body.

The tentacles represent the destruction of cherished childhood memories!

[Little_Nemo]

Here comes Ninja Claus
Here comes Ninja Claus
Riding a dinosaur
Swinging swords
And firing lasers
At the Fantastic Four

Skeleton pirates
Driving racecars
Are fighting Optimus Prime
Cause that’s the way
Five year old boys
Like to draw Christmas time

[Spoons]

Bravo, Little Nemo! Bravo!

May I try?
The first Noel
The Ninjas did creep
Up on the dinosaurs
Who were fast asleep

They woke them up
And started a fight
Their swordwork was flashing
In the laser light

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–
The Ninjas have come to set things well

Some zombies showed up
All hungry for brains
Thomas got woodchipped
No more choo-choo trains!

In came the Air Force
With six F-15s
And a Navy ship landed
A squad of Marines

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–
It’s a five-year-old boy’s card, or couldn’t you tell?

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Heretic! Where are the boobies?

[Chronos]

I now realize that my Halloween costume from six years ago was woefully incomplete. I was a mummified firebreathing mutant vampire zombie alien robot dinosaur… But I wasn’t a ninja. If it weren’t for the fact that my zombie dinosaur tail fell apart and shed all its vertebrae, I’d be tempted to re-assemble the costume and add my katana and wakizashi.

[elfkin477]

@Sigmagirl

I am going to bake gingerbread ninjas this year. With little candy [del]hearts[/del] blow guns.

I was all excited about your idea for a minute, but googling it reveals that orther than ninja stars cutters the only Ninja cookie cutters out there are TMNT I want ninja cookies now, it isn’t fair!

I’m going to have ninja cookie cutters to a frog’s eggs paperweight for the list of things I want that no one sells.

[cerberus]

What you need is MechaJesus burninating the sinners in their thatched huts.

And ZombieJesus, and Cthulu in Santa Claus kit.

[Sigmagirl]

@elfkin477

I was all excited about your idea for a minute, but googling it reveals that orther than ninja stars cutters the only Ninja cookie cutters out there are TMNT I want ninja cookies now, it isn’t fair!

I’m going to have ninja cookie cutters to a frog’s eggs paperweight for the list of things I want that no one sells.

I have several custom-made cookie cutters. It’s pretty easy to find somebody to make one for you. Etsy here we come . . .

[Malthus]

@Spoons

Bravo, Little Nemo! Bravo!

May I try?
The first Noel
The Ninjas did creep
Up on the dinosaurs
Who were fast asleep

They woke them up
And started a fight
Their swordwork was flashing
In the laser light

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–
The Ninjas have come to set things well

Some zombies showed up
All hungry for brains
Thomas got woodchipped
No more choo-choo trains!

In came the Air Force
With six F-15s
And a Navy ship landed
A squad of Marines

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–
It’s a five-year-old boy’s card, or couldn’t you tell?

I like that. I like it a lot.

Though I’d change the first chorus to

“Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–
The Ninjas have come to raise a little Hell”

[Shot_From_Guns]

@cerberus

MechaJesus

… Did you go to MU?

[GargoyleWB]

I made my parents a Christmas card with the internet-cliche caption classic “Where’s your God now?” snowball fighting nuns. They loved it

[tacoloco]

I though this thread was going to be about fart jokes and dick jokes.

I’m leaving disappointed.